I am Satmar Chassidish AMA

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:13 pm

amother Topaz wrote:

How do those in the community who don't have a lot of money pay for expensive things like the super expensive hats etc..

Not everyone has, I certainly didn't growing up. ( we are bh financially successful) but I sometimes have the same question

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:14 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

lol I'm not remotely chassidish and I know what a fein shmeker is.
we use the term all the time

I know what a fein shmekker is, I wasn't sure what the context of her question was.

amother

Acacia

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:15 pm

amother Birch wrote:

I don't think its bdafka satmar. I think it's the ungarisha blit rather than the satmarishkeit.

no idea what any of that means... I am as sefardi as they come! whats ungarisha?

amother

Fern

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

I am Satmar Williamsburg, I am not discounting anyone else's experience. I am just speaking my truth

This is where you lost me. Anyone from Williamsburg knows what a 'besere fein shmeker' is.

amother

Acacia

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:18 pm

Op what do you and your husband do? Did your husband start off in kollel? How is his English?
Does your husband sleep in the sukkah? I just learned that chabad men dont, I wonder if satmar chassidim hold the same?

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:27 pm

amother Acacia wrote:

I am in a niche field so not gonna share, my DH is in the construction line. His English is a lot better than it used to be, still leaves a lot to be desired.
He usually starts out in the Sukkah but ends up at home. The reason why chabad doesn't comes from them hailing from Russia and it was way too cold for them to do so.

Eta he did not start out in Kollel. He was an "alte bucher" (older bachur) in gevoah and went to work right after the wedding

amother

Ghostwhite

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 8:54 pm

I'm from Satmar too.
Your English is great!! I think Way better than your peers.
My English was far from perfect since my teachers were all Satmar graduates themselves with a limited vocabulary. But once I started working, it's improved by leaps and bounds.
My husband didn't have a perfect English either but has a better English today than many who grew up in English speaking homes.

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 9:24 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Thanks I guess, I read a lot and have an ear for language. Also, (atypical for the community) english is my first language.

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 9:26 pm

amother Peru wrote:

What is your community approach to therapy

Hesitant, like most sheltered communities, but getting better.

I personally have done marriage counseling, private therapy, and therapies for my kids. I don't keep it top secret either. It's not the first thing I share with people but I don't keep it under wraps either.

amother

Offwhite

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 9:37 pm

OP it doesn’t sound like you’re from a stereotypical or mainstream Satmar background. Considering satmar is huge, do you find that they are inclusive of different types of people? Do people who aren’t completely satmar or from different backgrounds feel comfortable in satmar communities? Were/are there kids in satmar school from non satmar families?

amother

Lime

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 9:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

The chabad reason is different than that but it's a whole different sugya:)

What is your opinion of Chabad and the opinion of those around you, if different?

Do you know any Chabad people?

Do you know the Vechter story?

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:03 pm

amother Offwhite wrote:

I'm from a fairly mainstream satmar family, if I'll say the name most satmar people will recognize it. But my parents are pretty open minded so my upbringing wasn't 100% satmar dogma.

Satmar is a huge spectrum but the schools and yeshivas are trying to homogenize it by imposing really strict rules.

People who aren't 100% satmar can and do feel comfortable, but people are judgemental and uncomfortable with people from wildly different backgrounds because of the fear of the unknown and the insularity that is preached as the ideal.

There probably are kids from non satmar families in the schools/yeshiva but it is becoming less as time goes on.

amother

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:07 pm

amother Lime wrote:

My personal opinion on Chabad is that they are wonderful people that are serving Hashem in the way they know best.

I actually have a few really close Chabad friends in CH. Not the norm, I know... none of the other satmar people have to tell me

My parents are anti-politics so I only heard the Vechter story as an adult since DH's uncle was his student and is now a Chabad shliach in the boondocks.

There is actually a movement within the satmar community of men learning Tanya and going to the Ohel. Not very openly but it's there

amother

Heather

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:09 pm

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

I’m also a satmar graduate and most of my teachers were satmar graduates themselves and I can say my English is just as good as those who speak it as a first language.
I disagree that OP’s English is better than her peers. All my satmar friends and family speak and write English very very well. It almost feels like my first language

amother

Camellia

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:10 pm

My major exposure to Satmar is the amazing work of the ladies who brought food to my relative in a NY hospital. Other than that, I don't know know enough to "ask you anything".
Would you mind explaining some of the ways your life is different than other chasidusin or other Orthodox? I'm genuinely curious.

amother

Heather

Tue, Oct 03 2023, 10:12 pm

amother OP wrote:

Everyone is in therapy Smile

That was exaggerated obviously but it’s not like you think. New centers keep opening up and many people from within the community are going to school to become therapists.
And many many more are seeing therapists and people are very open to it and it’s becoming less and less of a stigma. It changed tremendously in the last ten years thank god