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Forum -> Children's Health
Is it normal, my teen plays with action figures still?
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amother
Aster


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2023, 8:14 pm
My very mature, socially normal 13 year old plays with action-figure-like toys occasionally. He's actually too mature for his age sometimes, takes life so seriously, so I'm honestly glad to see him doing something more childish. It's not constant, but if it's not taking away from social interactions I would think it can be a good way for him to get out some typical teen angst and frustrations. Not something to worry about on its own, in my book.
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amother
Birch


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 3:10 am
You have other concerns as well? Has he ever been evaluated before?
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 3:51 am
amother Birch wrote:
You have other concerns as well? Has he ever been evaluated before?


No, never. But my dh says what point would there be? He's very into telling the kids that everyone has issues, and no one is perfect. BH this 16 year old is really coming out of his shell, and thriving in his new yeshiva, more so than ever before. We're very grateful. He didn't have a great last year of high school.
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amother
Petunia


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 4:14 am
Two of my male cousins and a few years younger than me were fascinated by my doll house and loved to play with it. Their mother was pretty worried they were showing signs of being homos..
They grow up totally normal Smile
Family of boys and not Jewish ( I am a convert)
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amother
Birch


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 5:18 am
amother OP wrote:
No, never. But my dh says what point would there be? He's very into telling the kids that everyone has issues, and no one is perfect. BH this 16 year old is really coming out of his shell, and thriving in his new yeshiva, more so than ever before. We're very grateful. He didn't have a great last year of high school.


If he isn't struggling at all I hear you.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 6:11 am
We offered him therapy for his confidence etc but he declined. And now he's doing a lot better without it. If he ever feel the needs, he knows we'd happily give it to him.
I really don't like all these labels on kids these days.
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Success10




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 6:14 am
amother OP wrote:
We offered him therapy for his confidence etc but he declined. And now he's doing a lot better without it. If he ever feel the needs, he knows we'd happily give it to him.
I really don't like all these labels on kids these days.

I salute you. The labels are really out of hand.
Salut
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ray family




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 6:15 am
amother OP wrote:
My son is 16, he often plays with action figures. He role plays with them making noises like fighting noises. I can't really explain but is it a concern? He may be playing soccer with them or something, I'm not quite sure!

So does my 14yo
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amother
Cadetblue


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 6:24 am
I think for highly imaginative and creative children, they enjoy playing with toys for much longer. I think most teens will say too babyish to play with action figures, but if the playmobil, lego or whatever are out my teens will end up playing with them. It usually starts off them playing with their younger siblings and making up some elaborate role-play, then the younger sibling loses interest and goes off, while the teen is still sitting there playing.
If they didn't like playing age-appropriate things, and doing things that I would expect of them at their age, then I might be concerned. But if it isn't the only thing they play with, then so what?
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 6:34 am
amother Cadetblue wrote:
I think for highly imaginative and creative children, they enjoy playing with toys for much longer. I think most teens will say too babyish to play with action figures, but if the playmobil, lego or whatever are out my teens will end up playing with them. It usually starts off them playing with their younger siblings and making up some elaborate role-play, then the younger sibling loses interest and goes off, while the teen is still sitting there playing.
If they didn't like playing age-appropriate things, and doing things that I would expect of them at their age, then I might be concerned. But if it isn't the only thing they play with, then so what?


Thanks, yes so in this case they were left out, and he'd never play with them in front of his friends. He'd definitely be embarrassed by it, even though I haven't said anything to him about it.
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amother
Ginger


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 7:34 am
As long as it's something he does on his own and doesn't expect to share with friends, it's harmless fun. Lots of adults hang on to a few little childish things that bring them joy, and it doesn't hamper their ability to be an otherwise functional adult. And if he's still into action figures when he gets married? All the better for playing with his kids!
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 7:43 am
I am a SEIT.

My main concern is does the child have friends?

Relatively happy?

If yes, than while not common, it is harmless.

This generation is too obsessed with "normal"

We don't have to be conformist.
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Bnei Berak 10




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 8:11 am
amother OP wrote:
Thanks, yes so in this case they were left out, and he'd never play with them in front of his friends. He'd definitely be embarrassed by it, even though I haven't said anything to him about it.
Don't say anything to him. Count your blessings Smile
Lego is totally harmless and if it's fun for him let him enjoy it Smile
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amother
Puce


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 8:26 am
amother OP wrote:
No, never. But my dh says what point would there be? He's very into telling the kids that everyone has issues, and no one is perfect. BH this 16 year old is really coming out of his shell, and thriving in his new yeshiva, more so than ever before. We're very grateful. He didn't have a great last year of high school.


If he actually had something, an evaluation would be extremely helpful. Way more helpful than his wife trying to figure out why she's struggling in certain areas and him refusing to get help as an adult man because his father tried to minimise issues and convinced him there was nothing to get evaluated.

Action figures aren't lego. This is objectively abnormal behavior for his age. If this is the only issue then I agree to forget about it. But you've alluded to other issues throughout this thread that make me think it's more than this one thing.

If he does have a neurodivergence, by the way, your DH's attitude can actually make him even less confident. He might realize he's different, and see how people react differently to him than to others, but his difference isn't being validated properly, only in the sense of "everyone has quirks" which doesn't account for his different experience. And worse, he's not getting the guidance so that he can change his behavior to lessen negative feedback.

If your DH has a similar personality, and potentially a similar diagnosis, could add to the reason why he doesn't want his son evaluated.
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amother
Mayflower


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 8:42 am
I still pulled out my Barbies and played with them once in a while as a teen. As others have said, I was a pretty imaginative child, always making up stories and making clothing for them. I still had friends and other hobbies, and I outgrew it by the time I was an adult. I don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as the other social stuff is normal. I'm glad my mother never said anything to me because I was a little embarrassed when she came in my room once and saw them out.
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amother
Eggshell


 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 8:48 am
My 15 yo DS still plays with Lego and Clicks. He usually says he is "helping" his little brother but they both enjoy it. I think it's great!
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 08 2023, 11:08 am
A homeschooler said she is glad she was homeschooled because she didn't realize she was too old to play with dolls.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Dec 09 2023, 1:13 pm
amother Eggshell wrote:
My 15 yo DS still plays with Lego and Clicks. He usually says he is "helping" his little brother but they both enjoy it. I think it's great!


This is so sweet!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Dec 09 2023, 6:10 pm
#BestBubby wrote:
A homeschooler said she is glad she was homeschooled because she didn't realize she was too old to play with dolls.


Good for her! Thanks Smile
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amother
Gardenia


 

Post Sat, Dec 09 2023, 9:23 pm
I have an older cousin who played w his wrestlers till an older age. I clearly remember him playing with those and video games. He was, and still is a very popular guy. Business owner. Married w kids, and very mainstream.
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