DS and Dd need sharing hotel room for pesach

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:01 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

Sorry for what happened to you.
I do think sharing beds is different than a room.

No, it's not that different when it comes to rape. Not at all.

amother

Bergamot

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:02 pm

amother Broom wrote:

FYI for those saying MO or non-Jews etc.. think about Section 8 where if you have 2-3 kids of same gender they still get one bedroom but if you have 2 kids opposite genders they each get a bedroom (or at least that’s what I remember hearing years ago from a family member, it may have changed)

This is correct. Section 8 requirements is that you need separate rooms for girls & boys. This applies to everyone, regardless of their sect & race.

amother

Hydrangea

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:03 pm

wow maybe I live under a rock and I was married at that age already but we always went away for Pesach and I always shared a room with my brother and surprised to see that she isnt ok with it and that everyone think its a big deal.

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:04 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

This is correct. Section 8 requirements is that you need separate rooms for girls & boys. This applies to everyone, regardless of their sect & race.

I don't think this is true. I have a friend with kids kids preschool - highschool in one room. Both genders. Section 8.
Unless rules changed recently?

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:11 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

Of course we are making a big deal out of it and so should you. If a woman doesn't feel comfortable to share a room, are we just supposed to tell her to get over herself or should we validate her feelings and make sure to find a solution to it?
It's very bad if a mother cannot make her daughter feel safe and comfortable.

amother

Broom

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:34 pm

amother Peru wrote:

I don't think this is true. I have a friend with kids kids preschool - highschool in one room. Both genders. Section 8.
Unless rules changed recently?

You can do whatever you want it’s more about the approval. They won’t approve a 3 bedroom if you have 2 girls but will if it’s a boy & a girl. If you decide to have them share a room and make the 3rd a guest room that’s your decision though if they come inspect not sure how that works…

amother

Peru

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 12:38 pm

amother Broom wrote:

I mean to say that they have a 2 bedroom with several kids...
So IDK the rules... Whatever, it was a side note

amother

Junglegreen

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 1:25 pm

amother Chicory wrote:

I was raped by my brother in a hotel room. We were sharing beds (around 12/13).

That's terrifying. Did you tell anyone?

amother

Chicory

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 6:18 pm

amother Junglegreen wrote:

That's terrifying. Did you tell anyone?

Years later..
When I got married and my fears of zex came out.
I never told my parents until after other people came out reporting against my brother (like 20 years after the incident).

amother

Seablue

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 7:04 pm

Re: those suggesting a room partition. That doesn't give safety, only a semblance of privacy.

Re: the daughter paying for her own room. If this was a random winter/summer vacation and the parents gave their kids an option of coming along, that would make sense. This is the parents making pesach arrangements for kids who still live at home (no matter what the age). She's 22, not 32+. It wouldn't be normal in many communities for her to stay home alone, or to kasher Her parents kitchen, or even to let the community know she's home alone and wants to be invited to meals. All of that would make the entire family look off. Would the parents be ok with that?

BatZion

Mon, Jan 08 2024, 11:25 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

I think modern orthodox are okay with it. The idea is why it inappropriate if their sister and brother? (Not going into details… but I’m sure you understand where their argument would go from there).

Rude and ignorant.

amother

Whitesmoke

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 6:48 am

Did you not think of this before booking? Were your children not involved in the planning?

amother

Purple

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:12 am

amother Peru wrote:

Did we scare the OP?...

Maybe your new, but it's against site etiquette to call out OP or any other poster. She is free to respond or not, to follow this thread or exit it.

amother

Bergamot

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 10:20 am

amother Purple wrote:

Maybe your new, but it's against site etiquette to call out OP or any other poster. She is free to respond or not, to follow this thread or exit it.

Since when is it against site etiquette? It happens in so many threads, nothing to take personally.

amother

Babyblue

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 8:52 pm

amother Peru wrote:

Don't know, struck me as kinda strange
She posted a question and vanished...

Yup. Super uncomfortable and strange....

amother

Teal

Tue, Jan 09 2024, 9:03 pm

Adding my opinion

I’m Chassidish. I shared a room with my brother once in our older teens. My only issue was that he snored really loudly. We changed at the same time while one of us was in the bathroom and the other was in the room. No issues whatsoever.

However, if the daughter isn’t comfortable with it then that should be taken into account