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amother
Daffodil
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 Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:24 am
That I’m well-rounded in a few ways.
That I can see multiple perspectives.
That people from different communities relate to me.
That I’m considered frum and not “farfrumt”.
Not too this and not too that. Ya know, like every kid in shidduchim these days 😂😂
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amother
Mint
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:36 am
The most common I get are that I look young, I'm a good/attentive parent, and that I'm so relaxed. (If only they knew how not relaxed I am on the inside  )
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amother
Feverfew
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:37 am
That my kids are lovely.
B”H
Now please help find them a shidduch!!!
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amother
Blue
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:44 am
I’m the type of person people gush about when they meet my mom and mil. Lots of personality, fun to be around, and leadership quality. Smart.
They also think I’m chilled and easygoing, which I am to an extent, but dh gets the brunt of otherwise my stress etc…and no one believes it!!!
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amother
Lightgray
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:49 am
that my kids are so bacheint (which is not really anything I can take credit for but it still makes me feel good!)
and that im so sweet - I get this alll the time (although sometimes im not sure if they mean no personality LOL.. but ill still take it.)
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amother
Latte
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:50 am
When are you people getting complimented all the time? Like how does this work ?
I feel like Im missing something, maybe I don't spend so much time socializing but I'm not getting complimented right and left. Or even just right. Or just left.
Like I can't even answer the OP. In my circles, when spending time with someone we just talk or do things not give compliments all the time. Seems funny to me.
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amother
Mulberry
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:57 am
Usually about my looks but def getting less of those as I get older. I also get compliments about being a great mother. Two compliments I got recently that really meant a lot to me were that I’m the least judgmental person and that I don’t take myself too seriously.
Compliments that irk me are how much I’ve changed and how amazing I am now. Implying it wasn’t always so. And usually coming from people who did not change at all and really should. Those compliments don’t make me feel amazing at all.
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amother
Brunette
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:58 am
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I actually don’t like being complimented on my figure. I often sense some envy and it makes my skin crawl.
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amother
Springgreen
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 9:59 am
| amother Latte wrote: | When are you people getting complimented all the time? Like how does this work ?
I feel like Im missing something, maybe I don't spend so much time socializing but I'm not getting complimented right and left. Or even just right. Or just left.
Like I can't even answer the OP. In my circles, when spending time with someone we just talk or do things not give compliments all the time. Seems funny to me. |
Even while talking to friends, I try to throw in compliments. It just feels good!
"I'd love your opinion on this because I know you're pragmatic/sensitive/thought-out."
"I enjoy hanging out with you!"
"It's incredible how you whip up such delicious food with zero stressing"
"You have so much patience with your [difficult] child"
"That outfit looks incredible on you, I love your taste!"
It's a natural part of the conversation.
On the other hand, there is an inherent compliment in the existence of good friendships. It must be that you're a good friend, empathetic, a good listener, etc if you have people who spend time with you voluntarily, regularly.
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amother
Maize
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:06 am
In school: Top kid in the class (academically) and great writer.
At work: If you ever have to leave, we’ll need 2 people to replace you.
By friends: I’m loyal and always there.
By family: There’s no one repeated compliment. It’s always something else.
Everybody else: How do you manage to stay a size 0 after your baby?? (Me: oh I had such terrible PPA that I didn’t eat normally for a while so I lost all the weight very fast)
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amother
Daffodil
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:17 am
| amother Latte wrote: | When are you people getting complimented all the time? Like how does this work ?
I feel like Im missing something, maybe I don't spend so much time socializing but I'm not getting complimented right and left. Or even just right. Or just left.
Like I can't even answer the OP. In my circles, when spending time with someone we just talk or do things not give compliments all the time. Seems funny to me. |
Yes most of it was when I was teenager, young adult, every once in a while a new neighbor or coworker
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amother
Honey
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:22 am
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For some reason, I seem to come across as very disciplined and level headed. I hear all the time how it must be so easy for me to diet and parent consistently and be organized. I wish it was as easy for me as everyone seems to think...
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amother
Alyssum
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:26 am
You’re so pretty
I love your house, it’s so relaxed, you don’t care about the kids playing.
What I hear- you’re stupid, you are lucky you’re pretty though
Your house is always a mess
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amother
Magenta
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 10:45 am
People gush about a certain talent that I have. They make me out to be this amazing person because of what I do. Meanwhile, a talent is just a gift from HaShem and in my personal life I am falling apart from bad executive functioning skills.
I also get a lot that I’m so easy to work with, which is true. It comes from being an extreme people pleaser which isn’t always so pretty.
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amother
Turquoise
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 11:59 am
That I'm pretty.
I checked in the mirror, could be they are right. 
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amother
Viola
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 12:04 pm
That I'm a positive upbeat person
I am, for the most part.
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amother
Hyacinth
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:25 pm
I'm pretty
I'm a good mother
My house is so calm (I don't agree)
I'm normal
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amother
Dodgerblue
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:35 pm
"You're SOOOO talented!"
It always felt so superficial to me. Yes, I was blessed with a lot of talents. But what about ME? What about the efforts I put in to help people with those talents, what about the work I put into improving my character, in learning to understand different viewpoints, in being more balanced in my perspectives? I AM not my talents. I HAVE my talents.
It feels like people are not seeing ME.
I appreciate much more hearing that what I did was meaningful or helpful. Not praise of something I have no control over.
(Ironically, I do give people that compliment, but usually when I see that someone has put in a lot of effort to nurture a talent or I think they need encouragement to do so.)
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amother
Jasmine
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:36 pm
That I have very beautiful eyes.
That I'm very intuitive.
That I'm not judgemental of others.
The first two are obviously not my credit. The last one I work hard on so is good to hear that ppl notice.
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amother
Blush
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Wed, Jan 10 2024, 1:37 pm
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