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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
kenz
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 12:58 pm
I don’t know, some people really benefit from playing their choice of instrument. They’re not allowed to play because of neighbors? As long as it’s at a reasonable time I don’t think that’s fair to expect.
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amother
Pear
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:02 pm
My neighbors son plays basketball for 3ish hours a day. Sometimes in the evening and often as early as 8am. The sound reverberates and I can feel the thuds in my bones but he is really doing nothing wrong.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:21 pm
amother Tuberose wrote: | That is so annoying! A drum could really drive one nuts! I had a neighbor like that and I literally felt the vibrations sometimes! It was so so so nerve wrecking!
There may not be much you can do but it's possible that your neighbor doesn't realize that the noise gets all the way to your house. My neighbor was right above my apartment.
Can you borrow a drum from someone and have your kids play it in so she'll see that the sound travels farther than she may realize? and she'll understand what it feels like to you when her kids play the drum.
You can even call her up to ask her if she's ok with having your kids drumming. Maybe she'll realize that it's nice to be considerate about it. |
Talk about cutting your nose to spite your face
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amother
Electricblue
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 1:44 pm
Lol some people have such noisy households and are so used to it they wouldn’t be bothered. I think we’re those kind of people, my kids play soccer indoors, practice/ bang on the piano, play loud music, etc. (before you all scream, we’re in a single family house on an acre in Monsey!)
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amother
Goldenrod
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:05 pm
amother Electricblue wrote: | Lol some people have such noisy households and are so used to it they wouldn’t be bothered. I think we’re those kind of people, my kids play soccer indoors, practice/ bang on the piano, play loud music, etc. (before you all scream, we’re in a single family house on an acre in Monsey!) | You really need an acre if your kids need to make that kind of noise. I struggle with sensory issues and wouldn’t manage with the vibrations that are being described. People who recommend noise machines don’t get it. It’s the vibrating that is a killer.
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amother
Goldenrod
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:08 pm
groisamomma wrote: | So someone that plays drums shouldn’t practice? | Surely they can find somewhere else to practice.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:12 pm
For example where? If not in their house then where exactly should they go?
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peace2
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:17 pm
First of all, during the day I don't think it's unreasonable. Also, are you offering to pay for an electric drum set? If not, you can't demand that they buy one. And it's not totally the same as regular drums.
You said they just moved in. You might want to think carefully about complaining to them about it because it may taint your relationship with them before it even starts. You don't want to be known as the kvetchy bitter neighbors
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amother
Anemone
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:19 pm
amother IndianRed wrote: | My younger brother played the drums and my parents made him keep the drum set in the basement and only practice during the day. I don't think the neighbors ever complained.
Drums may be loud, but they don't hurt the ears with a missed note the way other instruments do. Be glad you're not living to a beginner violinist! |
Are you my sister ?
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amother
IndianRed
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:21 pm
Definitely not! I have a bunch of brothers but unfortunately no sisters.
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imasinger
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 2:25 pm
One compromise might be to explain that it's hard for you, and would they consider establishing a regular practice hour at a time when maybe you could go out if you wanted.
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HonesttoGod
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:03 pm
It’s annoying but as everyone said - not much you can do unless it’s at night. Or early morning.
My old neighbor was learning to play flute AND violin. Yes they went to the basemen, didn’t help. It was AWFUL!
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amother
NeonPink
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:07 pm
amother Tulip wrote: | Honestly, I do think it’s rude. I think doing anything deliberate and unnecessary that impacts your neighbours’ enjoyment of their own homes is rude. Babies crying, not rude. Playing the drums or sax, rude.
I am not from America and do not subscribe to the “my individual rights trump everyone else’s comfort” mindset. I think it creates an unpleasant society. |
Where do u draw the line? My neighbor yelled at my kids for playing in our yard at 11 am in the summer because he works nights and needs to sleep. Dude no. Get a noise machine and earplugs and leave my kids alone. They are allowed to play outside in the middle of the day in the summer.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:13 pm
Are you guys a bunch of bitter old ladies or what. Maybe they moved out of their city apartment specifically so their kid can play drums in a big house in the suburbs?
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amother
Lemon
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:16 pm
amother Periwinkle wrote: | Are you guys a bunch of bitter old ladies or what. Maybe they moved out of their city apartment specifically so their kid can play drums in a big house in the suburbs? |
Who's bitter??? Most are saying that the neighbors aren't doing anything wrong.
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amother
Arcticblue
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 7:17 pm
amother Tulip wrote: | Honestly, I do think it’s rude. I think doing anything deliberate and unnecessary that impacts your neighbours’ enjoyment of their own homes is rude. Babies crying, not rude. Playing the drums or sax, rude.
I am not from America and do not subscribe to the “my individual rights trump everyone else’s comfort” mindset. I think it creates an unpleasant society. |
I agree but I don't live in a house, I live in a building. Seems pretty rude anyhow
If anyone here got a drum set we would soundproof the room.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:01 pm
amother Goldenrod wrote: | You really need an acre if your kids need to make that kind of noise. I struggle with sensory issues and wouldn’t manage with the vibrations that are being described. People who recommend noise machines don’t get it. It’s the vibrating that is a killer. |
I didn’t mention dh suffers from sensory issues. We live in the US.
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cnc
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:15 pm
Drums are on a completely different level than all the other noises mentioned here. I've lived near drum player 2 different times. (One of them was a professional band player.) Houses halfway down the block used to vibrate from the sounds. If you have drums, you should be using them in a room with some sort of soundproofing or insulation. The one that plays professionally wasn't nearly as bad as the other one. I'm assuming because he played in an area with special insulation.
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amother
Narcissus
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:17 pm
I used to live in a development and a neighbor got a trampoline on her property right behind her house. Because of complaints from various neighbors (the noise of kids laughing and jumping on the trampoline), their hours were restricted. No mornings before 9 am, no Shabbos after 1 pm because people are napping, no nighttime after 7 pm because babies may be sleeping….. this was normal children noise not excessive
I don’t like hearing noise either. And we also had someone that lived a FEW houses down and we still loudly heard the drum. But if you want silent living you have to buy a house with a giant yard. Otherwise you have to deal with these sort of things. Regarding requesting he only practice during certain hours, I presume the boy is in school and only has a few hours a day which he could be practicing . I don’t think he’s playing at 2 am or 9 am or 2 pm. It’s probably evening hours.
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amother
Daphne
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Sun, Feb 04 2024, 8:28 pm
I live on half an acre and my (most inconsiderate) neighbors play drums with the windows open. It’s awful but unless it’s late at night or early in the morning I don’t complain to them. They make lots of other noise at all hours and I need to pick my battles…
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