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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 3:15 am
The thread on the mother wanting to know how to deal with waking up her teenage sons got me wondering- I have a similar scene with my boys in elementary school (grades 2 and 3), and it's so tiring- waking them up again and again, them getting ready lazily but knowing that their father will take them (don't want to go into too many details but that's the setup because of our location, etc).
Is it too early to start making them take responsibility by using alarm clocks? It seems so useless to be waking them up again and again- this silly, little game that we play every morning...
Any other ideas for helping them take responsibility for waking up and getting ready on time?
I have tried encouraging them with promises of a hot drink for whoever is ready on time, but tbh, they prefer to roll out of bed and get ready without drinking or eating before they leave the house (they are meant to be ready by seven, but in the cold weather, it's become very flexible...)
Maybe if I had a freshly baked something waiting for them to take...
I don't know- any suggestions?
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salt
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 3:54 am
At that age you can still change your evening routine and have them in bed earlier.
Also, the downside of elementary age kids is that if you leave it entirely up to them and their alarm clock, then what is going to happen if they don't get out of bed?
Do you work? They can't stay home by themselves or take themselves off to school late. This is not a solution - just making the point that I don't really agree that the responsibility can be entirely placed on the child at that age - bottom line is that it's the parent's problem.
Can the kids suggest a solution? Have a family meeting one evening at dinner time and brainstorm with them.
How much later can they get up if their father takes them?
Would it mean no need for you to wake them?
ie. if they need to catch the bus you're waking them constantly, and if they wait for your DH they're already up naturally by themselves - if so, maybe not such a bad idea for him to take them most days.
On the other hand, if you'd anyway be waking them, and the difference is just 15 minutes, then the going to bed early is the better route.
Can you use the traditional chart method - every day they get up by time X - they get a sticker, and by the end of the chart a prize that would be an incentive for them.
Sorry for the ramble, just throwing out a few thoughts.
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teachkids
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 4:34 am
Every day they don't get up by x time, bedtime that night is half an hour earlier. Clearly you're too tired in the morning and need more sleep, so reasonable consequence, but they won't like it
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 4:36 am
salt wrote: | At that age you can still change your evening routine and have them in bed earlier.
Also, the downside of elementary age kids is that if you leave it entirely up to them and their alarm clock, then what is going to happen if they don't get out of bed?
Do you work? They can't stay home by themselves or take themselves off to school late. This is not a solution - just making the point that I don't really agree that the responsibility can be entirely placed on the child at that age - bottom line is that it's the parent's problem.
Can the kids suggest a solution? Have a family meeting one evening at dinner time and brainstorm with them.
How much later can they get up if their father takes them?
Would it mean no need for you to wake them?
ie. if they need to catch the bus you're waking them constantly, and if they wait for your DH they're already up naturally by themselves - if so, maybe not such a bad idea for him to take them most days.
On the other hand, if you'd anyway be waking them, and the difference is just 15 minutes, then the going to bed early is the better route.
Can you use the traditional chart method - every day they get up by time X - they get a sticker, and by the end of the chart a prize that would be an incentive for them.
Sorry for the ramble, just throwing out a few thoughts. |
Thanks! I appreciate you weighing in!
I work from home, but it's pretty clear to them that they can't stay home when I'm working.
They don't usually go to bed so late, but I think maybe we could make sure that they're always in bed by a certain time, even if they're reading, etc, and see if it helps.
A chart could work. I'm not very good at sticking to things like that myself, but we can make an effort...
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amother
Red
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 5:37 am
teachkids wrote: | Every day they don't get up by x time, bedtime that night is half an hour earlier. Clearly you're too tired in the morning and need more sleep, so reasonable consequence, but they won't like it |
That’s how it goes in my house also 🙂
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amother
Eggplant
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 6:25 am
If they can't get up in the morning at that age they are for sure going to sleep to late. Some people use melatonin. I like a light story or music at bedtime to prevent talking. I would not give them an optionfor earlier bedtime. Adjust all clocks in your house to an hour later. Everyone starts getting ready for bed earlier. (You may have to start slow change your clocks, and move their bedtime up by 15 minutes each night.
I tell my kids in the morning your may be awake lying in your bed. I need you up at 6:59 and up means out of bed not just lying in bed with your eyes open. I reward my son if he's focuses gets dressed right away instead of going to his toys.
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amother
Eggplant
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 6:30 am
I also want to add that teenage bodies work much differently. For kids and adult too a consistent bedtime is very important. And make sure to have a consistent wake up time a few days. Their body should go to sleep and wake up like a clock.
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teachkids
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 6:42 am
amother Eggplant wrote: | If they can't get up in the morning at that age they are for sure going to sleep to late. Some people use melatonin. I like a light story or music at bedtime to prevent talking. I would not give them an optionfor earlier bedtime. Adjust all clocks in your house to an hour later. Everyone starts getting ready for bed earlier. (You may have to start slow change your clocks, and move their bedtime up by 15 minutes each night.
I tell my kids in the morning your may be awake lying in your bed. I need you up at 6:59 and up means out of bed not just lying in bed with your eyes open. I reward my son if he's focuses gets dressed right away instead of going to his toys. |
You shouldn't have to trick them by adjusting the clocks. "this isn't working. Bedtime is now 8:00. We can reevaluate in 2 weeks when we see how the mornings are going"
Stories are a favorite trick here too.
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amother
Turquoise
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Mon, Feb 19 2024, 6:43 am
I wake my son by going into his bed and giving him a small back rub… he loves it.. we talk about the day ahead… it really gets him in a good mood… usally we are both khvethcing how little we slept but it’s the bonding that matters
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