I got a nice new car- everyone is commenting

amother

Ultramarine

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 2:51 pm

Didnt read whole thread, but my dh car (toyota camry) broke down. While at mechanic, he borrowed BILs old old car, the type that everything makes noise except the horn LOL

The amounts of comments we got outnumbered yours 100 to 0 !
When people get something that stands out other people will comment. It does not mean they do not fargin!!
You stated that it is not typical car/coat for your neighborhood, people will comment. That is human nature.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 3:38 pm

Op
I read your first post hours ago and thought to myself that it wouldn’t end well.

The average income level on this site is not high- we’ve seen it in polls time and again.
There’s a very high level of money shaming here. Never ever start a post like this unless you want to get yelled at and told why you can’t have anything more than bare bones.

It’s really a very unfortunate reality.
People seem to feel like if they hate on things then it makes the thing bad, and therefore they’re not missing out.

Mazel tov on your new van, may you use it to drive it to simchos and be able to do a lot of mitzvos in it.

And practice responses in the mirror. Dont excuse your purchase, just thank them for the well wishes with a smile.
“Yes bh we got a new car. Ty, we love it”

Oh wow, you guys upgraded! - Bh!

Smile and move on, and don’t post here about it lol.
Trust me I’ve learnt my lesson really quick years ago here

amother

Melon

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 4:55 pm

“Simple” cars are so expensive these days (could be $500-$800 a month), so I wouldn’t define spending an extra $150 to be lavish or extravagant. If someone can afford it and the extra features make them happy, then of course it’s not a problem. Everyone is entitled to use their money how they wish.

Highstrung

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:11 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

This. If I saw someone I gave tzedakah to in the past now living with luxuries I don't have- yes- I would not fargin. Unless the person gave back massive amounts to the tzedakah organization.

Why wouldn’t you fargin? I’d be so thrilled that she’s back on her feet and is B”H doing well? When I find out the people I helped financially are doing better it gives me so much nachas .

Highstrung

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:19 pm

amother Fern wrote:

I think what OP fails to realize is that most people live a simple yeshivish lifestyle do so by choice, not by default because they can’t afford it. They make career and employment choices that lead to that income level and lifestyle. To cast in their faces what they are sacrificing by their choices is not going to engender a great reception.

That’s exactly it . It’s their choice , why can’t they fargin someone who doesn’t make that choice? I don’t get it

amother

Pink

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:46 pm

OP An SUV people are jealous?? Really? Come to the Highways ( Kvish 6 ) of Eretz Yisroel. BH' we are able to rent a (simple) car when needed. I am so appreciative that we can. SUV's are many on the highway. In certain (more American ) neighborhoods there are many. Use your SUV in good health, and enjoy. You are doing nothing wrong. In simple neighborhoods it will stick out.

kenz

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 5:46 pm

amother Oleander wrote:

This. If I saw someone I gave tzedakah to in the past now living with luxuries I don't have- yes- I would not fargin. Unless the person gave back massive amounts to the tzedakah organization.

How would you know? Is she obligated to call anyone who may have ever helped her and report how much $ they are now making and how much they give to tzedakah?

faigie

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 6:01 pm

Ok, let’s recall what you’ve told us…..
Everyone is making comments…..I assume that you only speak to people that you know. So strangers in the street aren’t giving you snide comments.
It seems that the ladies you hang out with, are jealous b****yatches, and don’t fargin you anything.
Maybe they were your friends when things were going poorly, but now that you’re not in that club, bh, anymore, it seems like it bothers them.
Solution?
Get some new friends. Let the old ones stew in their own juices. Misery might like company, but you don’t have to keep their company.

Cheiny

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 6:31 pm

Lovable wrote:

Please reread my posts. I specifically wrote that working on ones middos is NOT EASY
Also, that Lo Sachmod is literally a commandment from G-D Alone.
SO is not flaunting, but what is up with the pointing fingers all around, wht happened with looking into yourself?? (talking to myself as well)
Life is not easy. Not at all. A Childless couple should expect everyone to hide their babies when in public? I dont get it. AT ALL

Comparing not overly flaunting jewels and other luxuries with hiding babies is beyond apples and oranges.

amother

Grape

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 7:00 pm

Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person worried about ayin harah. I don’t want to be the person people look at and evaluate. I live in a community of people who have a similar standard of living so that definitely makes it easier. And when we bought an suv we got a Kia. My kids also understand this and don’t tell their classmates about the vacations we go on, etc. it’s such a way of life, dh and I were both brought up like this. (Maybe it’s different bec we both come from “wealthy” ish families, so we don’t have a complex about it or a need to show that “we’ve arrived”? I don’t know the psychology behind it.)

Lovable

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 7:34 pm

Cheiny wrote:

Comparing not overly flaunting jewels and other luxuries with hiding babies is beyond apples and oranges.

So you say.
Money can buy jewlery not babies
My babies are more precious than jewels, I hope no one on the site will disagree

amother

Cyan

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 7:54 pm

faigie wrote:

The weird thing about this thread is that the op said "everyone" is making "comments".

Two questions: who's everybody and what are the comments?

Is "everybody" 3 people? 4 or 5?

And more importantly what are the comments?

If people are saying, "nice car", "nice upgrade", or "I really like your car", these are not inappropriate comments.

I find it hard to believe that "everyone" is making inappropriate comments like, "I'm surprised you can afford this", "you're the last person I thought would be driving this fancy car, or, don't you guys get a big tuition break?".

I'm inclined to believe that the op is being too sensitive to typical comments acknowledging she has a new car, rather than op actually being the victim of rude comments.

amother

Steel

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 7:56 pm

amother Cyan wrote:

The weird thing about this thread is that the op said "everyone" is making "comments".

Two questions: who's everybody and what are the comments?

Is "everybody" 3 people? 4 or 5?

And more importantly what are the comments?

If people are saying, "nice car", "nice upgrade", or "I really like your car", these are not inappropriate comments.

I find it hard to believe that "everyone" is making inappropriate comments like, "I'm surprised you can afford this", "you're the last person I thought would be driving this fancy car".

I'm inclined to believe that the op is being too sensitive to typical comments acknowledging she has a new car, rather than op actually being the victim of rude comments.

I'm thinking the exact same thing.

amother

Hibiscus

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 7:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

My husband job covers travel expenses as he travels to a different state. My bils employer pays for his car as well. My old boss used to as well. It’s very common.

I thought you said it was your car, not his. Unless you only have one car? How is a wife’s car a business write off for the dh?

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Feb 20 2024, 8:31 pm

I feel the same way when I get a new shaitel, which is more often than my close friends. However , unlike them, I have no cleaning help. I save close to 4k a year without (not that my wigs cost that much.) I also don't get my nails done, ever. Which is also a huge savings.