Kids want but I can’t afford

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:16 pm

amother Jade wrote:

Please realize when you say something like this, there are many women like myself who have our kids in aftercare until 5 because that's what it takes to pay the bills. School hours are not work hours, and there are many years when my kids schools get out too early for my husband and I to be there for them and to pay the rent, so no, we are not there for them when they come home or we adjust the school hours or our work hours (ie work at night). Many years, I left the house at 6:30 so I can get home by 330 and my husband got the kids out the door to school, but then he was at work from 8:30-7:00.

Histadlus means something different for different cases, just make sure you are really doing your part.

Yea I understand. Where I live there is very little option to send until 5.
I start work as early as I can, often DH brings them to the bus.

I am looking to work at night as well but the 3:30-8/8:30 is just not an option.

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:17 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

A friend of mine makes extra money babysitting dogs in her home, both via Rover.com gigs and also via her own private dogsitting clients. Charge is typically per night, like a hotel. My friend works full time, but mostly remotely, so this doesn't interfere with her real job.

My friend charges $60-80 per night, on the higher end of what you see on the website. She built up to that with a reputation over time for excellent service.

Wow that’s amazing!! Didn’t realize dog sitting pays so much

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:18 pm

amother Crocus wrote:

You and I have different ideas of what it means to do our hishtadlus. I feel you are getting upset with my suggestions, and I don’t want to hurt you. From your replies you want hashem to hand you $$ without doing more I dont agree with that approach but you do you. There are creative ways to bring in more $ but it does require working hard even when we don’t want to, I work late at night to bring in extra $ and early sunday mornings when my husband is home. Btw I do get it my husband is not home a lot for other reasons so we need to be creative and work around each others hours. I am there for my kids which is why I need to work crazy hours. Hopefully it wont always have to be this way but for now I make the best of it. I wish you much hatzlacha in whatever you decide.

No I’m not asking Hashem to hand me money. I am realistic about what works for my family and what doesn’t…
And then I am working around that.

amother

Geranium

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

Wow that’s amazing!! Didn’t realize dog sitting pays so much

That's the higher end, for sure. Among other things, my friend takes pictures during the job and texts the owners, and writes little cute notes periodically. She also genuinely loves dogs, so it's not hard for her.

You could give it a try and see how you like it.

amother

Jade

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:20 pm

amother OP wrote:

So you have a sitter come to your house in the afternoon until you get home.

amother

Pistachio

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:22 pm

amother Jade wrote:

Unfortunately, Cleveland has a big problem with childcare, in that the main schools don’t offer any early care or after care and it’s nearly impossible to find babysitters. Not exactly the main point of this thread, but a reality OP needs to deal with.

OP have you reached out to gesher? I think they offer free budgeting services, though I agree it sounds like you have a cash flow issue, not a budgeting problem.

justforfun87

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:23 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

I would not bring dogs around young children without knowing the family/background of the dog. I am a big dog lover but this is not really an appropriate solution for a family with young children.

ShishKabob

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

No I’m not asking Hashem to hand me money. I am realistic about what works for my family and what doesn’t…
And then I am working around that.

There's nothing wrong with asking Hashem for more money. Hashem doesn't need us to work 'harder' in order to get more money.
Hashem owns all the money in the world, He has enough to spare..
Hugs and I hope that you have a shefa in money and may you pay all of your bills easily without working harder.

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:27 pm

amother Geranium wrote:

No I wouldn’t bring dogs into my home. I just don’t think it’s safe with my kids

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:27 pm

amother Pistachio wrote:

Right this exactly.

Ya we worked with gesher a lot. But right it’s not a budgeting issue

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:27 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

On this site there is…

amother

Butterscotch

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:36 pm

Op, you can sign up at www.prolific.com to take surveys. I’ve been on the site since November and have earned around $200 a month. That’s enough to buy several floafers full price.

Prolific does have a wait list so if you don’t get in within a few days, cloud connect research is another survey site you can try. I believe water girl has been using it for a while and had a good experience.

There’s a place for having emunah and bitachon but when your children are suffering and you are in debt that will be hugely multiplying now that 0% balance transfers are not an option, imho that time is long over. You can check with your Rav.

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:37 pm

amother Butterscotch wrote:

Thanks!!

ShishKabob

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

On this site there is…

That's why I don't aim to please on this site or other people in the world that their hashkafah doesn't match with mine.

People mistakenly believe that the amount of hours or the amount of diplomas equal more pay and and easier time paying the bills. If you read the Shaar Habitachon, that's nothing further than the truth.

Of course a person has to work, because that's what Adam was cursed with, however there are lots of variables to it.

Also, Hashem can get you floafers in your kids sizes without you paying for it and without you asking anyone to help you with it! I've experienced this in real time real life, just saying.

In any event, I really hope that you reach out to the one Above, that is in charge of everything, and He has pull in the biggest companies and He is the one to rely on for all of your wants and needs. He is capable of providing them for you in very creative ways. Lots and lots of hatzlocha and brocho!

amother

Cognac

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:42 pm

amother OP wrote:

My teen dd says most girls in her class shop at the super expensive Jewish store (and I believe this). Now she wants to shop there, but there is simply no way we can and it’s just so not fair to her. But she’s a teen and she wants to fit in.

Also, now floafers is having a huge sale. I wish I could buy my kids floafers. Literally $12 a pair. But even that is a huge stretch for me.it just feels so unfair.

We have so much debt just from trying to make life work.

Anyone else relate? I’m just so tired of this.

Yes I know clothes/shoes are not a necessity but it’s important to me that my kids look nice (again I’m not bemoaning that I can’t spend $40/60/80 on shoes). I’m bemoaning that I can’t spend $12

I feel badly for you - but mostly because you chose to live in an expensive area. If this OOT community has an expensive Jewish store (mine does not) and you feel badly that your kids' friends all shop there and you cannot, then you are living in the wrong town. There are plenty of OOT areas that have no Jewish stores and there is very little stress on clothing.

amother

Mon, Mar 18 2024, 1:44 pm

amother Cognac wrote:

I don’t live in an expensive area. I live out of town. When I moved her I moved because housing was so cheap