How much do you spend a season

amother

Nasturtium

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 3:04 pm

amother Marigold wrote:

Op, I understand you because I love nice things, I have a 3 year old girl, I also go to a hotel.

But I spent $800 on a complete wardrobe. The designer brands I buy all last season. Especially, if you don’t have to match kids it’s much easier to find.

To breakdown
7 Shabbos dresses
1 new season brand name- was the biggest splurge, 4 past season, 2 ha me downs. Total $335

8 weekday sets: 4 designer last season, 1 new season set, 1 Ali, shorts for H&M and tees from Zara
Total
$215

Accessories
Crochet knit Shabbos socks from Ali. The look like condor. I paid $17 for 12 pairs so I don’t have to worry about losing them or getting them dirty
I also got 16 bows for $5 from Ali

2 Shabbos pjs for $43 though I do need more

Shoes Shabbos $85, $15 hm weekday

Spent a lot in underwear- buying tons, shirts because we’re toilet training and plus basic white weekday socks $50

Total around $800

My other kids are boys and older so I barely spend on them. They have lots of things from last season.

Sorry to derail a thread, but can you post the link for the socks? Thank!!

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 3:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

How much do u spend a season on yourself and ur kids?

Currently have one daughter (2)
I appreciate designer things but know how to find a good deal. I get all her stuff on sale.
I spent a total of abt 1600
Between shab and weekday
I got her 8 shab - probably shld hv done 6

I like variety. And not willing to shop in gap or target or Ali.

I think I did pretty good considering how many things I got. And I know if I had gone to any Jewish stores here in Lakewood, I would hv spent more.

Husband thinks I’m crazy
So curious to hear what u all spend

That’s insane. I have 2 kids. I would prob spend 4-500 on both of them. I do Zara and tottini for shabbos and target and H&M for weekday.

amother

DarkGreen

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 3:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

Hi OP here
Ok so let me backtrack
Like I said , 8 is a lot. I agree. I didn’t realize how many I got and shld hv gotten less.
But at same time , my family goes away for yt. And with 6 days yt (2 outfits a day) - I don’t even hv enough.
I would say 6 is a nice number for a toddler.

I don’t hv anyone to get hand me downs from. I’m an oldest

I’m not saying I can’t afford it. But at same time I can’t yes afford it.
Idk if that makes sense at all.
Was the credit card paid, yes. But was it no big deal, no.

I also said I don’t shop on Ali. I grew up shopping Jewish brands or designers and I appreciate tht kind of stuff.
Also they last longer. Iyh for my next daughter I will be able to hand down a lot

To be honest you sound a little entitled. I also enjoy brand names and I have great taste AND I live in a very in style in town neighborhood AND I still shop where I can afford bc I have no interest in going into debt!!! So I have to control myself! And I have not bought a single thing for me or my family of 4 this season bc we’re broke so…

amother

Burlywood

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:20 pm

amother DarkGreen wrote:

It sounds like this is how she was raised and is still under pressure from her mother, you really can’t judge

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:26 pm

amother Burlywood wrote:

It sounds like this is how she was raised and is still under pressure from her mother, you really can’t judge

Unless her mom is going to pay for said clothes idk why she cares. If that happened to me I'd simply say "Ma, this is what we can afford if you'd like to see Sarale in something else you can pay for it"

giftedmom

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:30 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

It’s a bit more complicated than this
I know families like that, all project a certain image but the internal dynamics and finances are different.
If you’re raised your entire life that “this is how we do things” you need some time to adjust. She’s probably married not more than 3-4 years. She’s young and still very vulnerable to pressure and unspoken (or spoken) expectations.

amother

Dodgerblue

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:50 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Trust me I get it. I come from an affluent background..but the sooner you get a backbone with family and set boundaries, the easier it gets. I grew up with fancy clothes, cars, restaurants and vacations.

giftedmom

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 4:57 pm

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Those families aren’t all affluent. The real question is did you grow up with pressure from your parents to project a certain image? Did you get that pressure after marriage?

amother

Marigold

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 5:49 pm

[quote.[/quote

Off topic but could you link your ali socks and bows?[/quote]

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Sat, Mar 30 2024, 6:50 pm

My 5 year old has one new dress for yomtov that cost £10. The rest (including all her weekday clothes) are hand-me-downs that she is perfectly happy with (and so am I!) . Any extras, underwear, pjs will be from George or primark, shabbos shoes maybe from George or sainsburys. School shoes from clarks sale £30. Total spend this season maybe £80-100.

amother

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:29 pm

giftedmom wrote:

Those families aren’t all affluent. The real question is did you grow up with pressure from your parents to project a certain image? Did you get that pressure after marriage?

OP here
I appreciate ur responses
U are correct. I am married 4.5 years
This is my first and first grandchild on my side of the family.

My parents are wealthy and everyone thinks they help out but behind the scenes they don’t. I paid for all my daughter’s clothes this season. My mother didn’t even offer me to reimburse me at all.
I need to still get my daughter shoes, my mother said she will take me and pay but she keeps pushing it off.

Maybe some others responders are correct tht eventually I will not care to buy h and m , Ali and Zara.
But I do appreciate the finer things in life. And I don’t see it changing so drastically
I have friends brought up like me and spending a lot more per season on their toddler. I know my limits. I won’t spend $220 on a bonpoint current season dress.

When I first got married, I didn’t get myself any clothes. I showed up at my parents in a basic ribbed skirt from the gallery and ribbed t shirt. I will never forget how my mother was appalled that I was walking around Lakewood like tht. She said I looked lk a shlump.
Obv we got into a fight tht she won’t take me shopping etc and eventually she got me 4 things.

It’s very hard when u have family pressure but no family help.
So plz everyone don’t judge

amother

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:33 pm

Op here again

I would like to also explain my husbands side
He grew up in a home tht always had financial struggle.
He is not used to this concept at all. He can’t fathom spending $100 on a dress.

It took time for him to adjust to my standard - which has been lowered since I got married - but he sometimes still can’t get it.

Just like a lot of u can’t understand why I don’t buy stuff on Ali or H and m.
He can’t wrap his brain around my upbringing.

It causes a lot of tension many times.
And when I posted the original post, it was after a tense conversation about how much I spent this season on clothes.

We have the money for it. The credit card will get paid. But he just can’t understand it

amother

Bronze

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Are you putting away enough in savings and investments? “The credit card will get paid” doesn’t mean it’s a wise choice

amother

Olive

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

I come from a well-off background with a well-dressed mom. I love nice clothing too. But my husband and I are self- supporting. I have learned to be smart about my purchases because I want to build our savings and also because I don’t want to be constantly giving into pressure. It was hard in the beginning but I don’t care anymore. For example, I think it’s wasteful to spend 125 on Vejas for my toddler. He’ll be just as cute in adidas. Learning to be confident with your choices is important for all areas of life. You will always have peers who are splashing around more money than you are.

amother

Peach

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:47 pm

No judgement here.
For the amount of quality stuff you bought, you may have gotten a good deal.
However, if it's getting between you and your husband, it may be worth it to buy half the wardrobe like you did this year and the other half on Aliexpress next year. You can get identical stuff on Ali and you'll save a lot of $. (it might be worth trying one outfit from ali this year to know in advance if it can work for you next year)