How much do you spend a season

amother

Magnolia

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 11:47 pm

Unless you're rich, you're off your rocker.
My toddler has 3 shbs stuff. paid around 20 each. Of course you can spend more, if you can afford to. Otherwise, you don't need two per day for 3 days. Ever heard of bibs?

amother

Thu, Mar 28 2024, 11:54 pm

amother Bluebell wrote:

OP you know know as well as we do they if designer and fashion is so important to you that you’re going to want to buy new for Gd willing your furture daughters. If you’re not willing to dress your kids in mainstream brands like Zara and H&M (even occasionally) this is always going to be a high value to you. BH I have always gone away for Pesach too so I know that having 2 shabbos dresses isn’t enough but you and I both know you don’t need 8 designer outfits! Your 2 year old can repeat clothing! It won’t hurt her shidduch. Or you can buy 3 of your favorite designer outfits and 3 ‘normal’ ones to bring the total down. I’m also trying to imagine my 2 year old in a playground in designer clothes. Or playing on the floor or in the tearoom where things are getting spilled. I just don’t get it. Dress yourself anyway you want/can afford but why does a baby need to exclusively wear designer clothes?

I think the word designer is misleading
I’m talking shab stuff they sell on Jewish stores
New society
Stella McCartney
Bonpoint
Bobo choses

The most expensive shab thing was $150

And again, I know I overdid the shab stuff
Repeating while on a program is nearly impossible bec I don’t have access to washing machine. And my mother wouldn’t be too happy with tht anyway

giftedmom

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:00 am

amother OP wrote:

BP and BC are available on Ali. Your mother would never know. The most balbatish families shop on Ali.
But also if your mother gets a say she should finance the fanciness.

Tao

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:01 am

amother Magnolia wrote:

Ever heard of toddlers? LOL

I agree its a crazy amount to spend, but my kids wear bibs and my 4 yr old still gets covered in whatever he's eating. He almost never wears the same outfit in the afternoon that he wore that morning (and we've also had to change before we've left the house the first time lol)
Also if her toddler is newly toilet trained she'll definitely need more than 2 a day. They don't need to be designer for that though LOL

lamplighter

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:04 am

Here's the thing. You know you spent too much. Everything else in your OP is you answering for it.
Your husband knows it too.

I'm a blunt horrible person so I'll say it as it is. You cannot afford it, if you could afford it, it wouldnt be on the credit card, your husband wouldnt be worked up and you wouldn't be on here wanting validation for your purchases. This over the top materialism, acquired irresponsibility, will mess you over big time in the long run. Reign it in ASAP.

If you were wealthy and your husband said enjoy! This would be another story.

Last edited by lamplighter on Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:44 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:04 am

giftedmom wrote:

BP and BC are available on Ali. Your mother would never know. The most balbatish families shop on Ali.
But also if your mother gets a say she should finance the fanciness.

I agree tht shld help finance but she doesn’t. Which makes it more difficult

giftedmom

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:06 am

amother OP wrote:

I agree tht shld help finance but she doesn’t. Which makes it more difficult

Then you should spend what you can afford. Jewish brands like pastel have adorable sets for 60$. Really no need to spend 150$. There are so many more important things to spend your money on.

amother

Bluebell

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:07 am

amother OP wrote:

OP there are laundromats. The most remote resort towns that I’ve been to have laundromats. And they’re full of fellow program goers. And your sink.

I’m disturbed about the comment about your Mom. Is she who you’re trying to impress, whose standards you have to maintain?
Is she paying? Or are you and your husband? Because unless she’s supporting your luxurious lifestyle you need to not have her be the voice in your head

amother

Bellflower

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:08 am

6 or 8 shabbos outfits? For one season??

Omg. That sounds insane to me. I buy 2 for my kids and they usually have 1 outfit they insist on wearing the whole summer. And the other outfit is almost a complete waste.

Spending that much money is a whole 'nother story.

amother

Azure

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:14 am

amother OP wrote:

Hi OP here
Ok so let me backtrack
Like I said , 8 is a lot. I agree. I didn’t realize how many I got and shld hv gotten less.
But at same time , my family goes away for yt. And with 6 days yt (2 outfits a day) - I don’t even hv enough.
I would say 6 is a nice number for a toddler.

I don’t hv anyone to get hand me downs from. I’m an oldest

I’m not saying I can’t afford it. But at same time I can’t yes afford it.
Idk if that makes sense at all.
Was the credit card paid, yes. But was it no big deal, no.

I also said I don’t shop on Ali. I grew up shopping Jewish brands or designers and I appreciate tht kind of stuff.
Also they last longer. Iyh for my next daughter I will be able to hand down a lot

So why are you asking?
You spent it.
You asked if it was normal.
Most people would say no.
Then you’re defending yourself.
If that’s what you want to spend- go right ahead. None of us will stop you.
If you can afford it, and your husband doesn’t mind, then who cares?!

im shy

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:29 am

amother OP wrote:

If you're going to be on a program, then maybe buy another 4 shabbos outfits.

(ETA: You can have me in mind, I have a daughter the same age and love designers:))

amother

Foxglove

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:40 am

bH I'm able to get a lot of hand me downs for my girls and just have to supplement t shirts and skirts and leggings for my oldest which then get handed down, so I would say my 2 girls together is around $100- $150 a season. My baby boy is harder to find hand me downs for, so it's about $100- $150 per size, and sometimes I hit 2 sizes in 1 season so it gets expensive.

amother

Darkblue

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:47 am

Op, All these people telling you that you are crazy have a different lifestyle than you.
Don’t take them personally.

You probably grew up like this and are around money. It’s normal to be carried away because you are not used to putting in thought into saving every dollar.

But really, you should do some thinking into if what you are buying now for your emotional needs is smart for your finances and future. You will spoil yourself and your kids and it will be harder to keep this up when your kids are older. (You will have even more pressure to) Now is the time to learn to control yourself.
FYI plenty of people on programs wear kidichic or lil legs or elys and co and look cute.

amother

NeonPink

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:48 am

]amother OP wrote:

I agree tht shld help finance but she doesn’t. Which makes it more difficult

Your mother has no say in how you dress your kids. If she comments, then tell her that she's welcome to shop for your daughter.

amother

NeonPink

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:50 am

amother Azure wrote:

They can't afford it and her husband does mind.
Maybe she's looking for justification to show her husband that it's a normal amount to spend?

lamplighter

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:51 am

amother Darkblue wrote:

The problem is she can't afford the lifestyle. It'll only get harder/worse/more expensive as her family grows and grows up. Best to learn now how to spend wisely (respecting her style and her budget) than to just explain away overspending for a two year old. JMHO.

amother

Red

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:51 am

amother OP wrote:

I’ve been to dozens of Pesach programs over the last 30 or so years. Every hotel has an option for washing clothing. Usually they can take care of it from A to Z. And bibs at mealtimes and snack time should bring it down to one outfit per day. So you would need 2 outfits that’s all. Maybe a third if 3 day yom tov

amother

Taupe

Fri, Mar 29 2024, 12:55 am

Ahhh the sweet young days. I remember when I had only one child and I thought my toddler needed to be bedecked in high fashion. Yes we could afford it then and we still can now. What changed is that my family and my kids grew and I realized with age and wisdom that no one and I mean no one cares what your 2 year old is wearing.

Yes teen girls should look nice, and teen boys should look clean, well laundered and fitted. But babies? Nah.