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Post partum boss asking when I plan to return
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:01 pm
I am 4 weeks pp. I work for a frum NJ company. Boss reached out and ask when I plan to return. I applied for std which is 6 weeks and j believe pfl is 12 weeks after that? I know it’s not fair to leave my company hanging for so long but I am also entitled to take this time off legally… wwyd? Would you ask for them to make up the difference (pay you for the the time you could’ve taken off if you go back to work early?) how would you say it
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:04 pm
Why can't you just answer when you plan to return? The boss does have a right to know so she can plan accordingly.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:05 pm
amother Goldenrod wrote:
Why can't you just answer when you plan to return? The boss does have a right to know so she can plan accordingly.



There’s a reason they’re asking me 4 weeks pp. they obviously don’t want me to take the full 18 weeks.
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happy7




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:06 pm
How long do you think they will hold the job for you?
Stay home for as long as you can.
Six weeks is not enough. Your baby is going to be teeny and you can barely function.
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Einikel




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
There’s a reason they’re asking me 4 weeks pp. they obviously don’t want me to take the full 18 weeks.


This in itself doesn't sound like the reason. Do you have something else to base it on?
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:07 pm
amother OP wrote:
There’s a reason they’re asking me 4 weeks pp. they obviously don’t want me to take the full 18 weeks.


Maybe they just want to know if they need to hire a temporary worker or not. Why can't you just tell them I plan on taking 18 weeks off as per my legal rights.
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amother
Bluebonnet


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:11 pm
amother OP wrote:
There’s a reason they’re asking me 4 weeks pp. they obviously don’t want me to take the full 18 weeks.

I personally don't know anyone who took off the full 18 weeks. Of course you have the right to do that, but if that's your plan, it would have been the right thing to do to let them know in advance so they can plan accordingly. If they don't know yet, you should be telling them asap. I'd be pretty upset if I were the employer and had not been informed, especially if that's not what most employees in the company do and therefore had assumed it would be a 6 week leave.
This isn't only about your legal rights. It's also about showing that you are a dedicated employee who cares about the company and communicates well.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:11 pm
amother Goldenrod wrote:
Maybe they just want to know if they need to hire a temporary worker or not. Why can't you just tell them I plan on taking 18 weeks off as per my legal rights.



I don’t need to take 18 weeks off. I do work remotely so I have some flexibility. I also didn’t get approved yet for the std waiting to hear back. Is it rude to offer to come back earlier but ask that they compensate?
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:12 pm
A lot of people take paid family leave within the year and not right away. Most people I know go back after 6 to 8 weeks and the rest of the time from PFL they take throughout the year whenever they want so your boss might just want to know when you want to return because that's the people mostly do.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:13 pm
amother OP wrote:
I don’t need to take 18 weeks off. I do work remotely so I have some flexibility. I also didn’t get approved yet for the std waiting to hear back. Is it rude to offer to come back earlier but ask that they compensate?


Compensate for what? If your working you'll get paid regular and if you aren't it's either disability or PFL...
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:16 pm
amother OP wrote:
I don’t need to take 18 weeks off. I do work remotely so I have some flexibility. I also didn’t get approved yet for the std waiting to hear back. Is it rude to offer to come back earlier but ask that they compensate?


How do you expect them to compensate you if they are paying you for your job? Maybe you can ask for more flexible hours. And if you don't need 18 weeks, why should they compensate you? Sounds like you are trying to milk the situation as much as you can which may not be smart for you in the long term.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:16 pm
It’s not at all a normal or accepted thing to ask to be compensated for returning earlier. If you feel you need the time, ask to take the time. Don’t forget- they’re not the ones paying you for that leave. The government is. The money is coming out of taxes they and you paid.
(Is it a big office that’s required to give you the additional family leave?)
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SYA




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:19 pm
In one company I worked at, we took 6-8 weeks (6 weeks disability and 2 weeks paid family leave) The other 10 weeks were spread out throughout the year until the baby turns one. We used for an extra week before Pesach and over Pesach, so you don’t need to work Chol Hamoed, same for Sukkos, and the remainder for the summer when business was a little slower.

It’s important to be upfront and let your employer know as soon as possible. They may decide to hire a temporary worker to fill in for when you’re out.
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amother
Clematis


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:20 pm
Dont be complicated.

Either tell them you are taking the full time or part of the time or you will take it intermittently. Do not ask them to pay for it. It looks bad.

And also dont feel guilty for taking the full time. Has nothing to do with dedication to the company. Thats corporate lingo for squeezing employees dry.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:20 pm
amother Wheat wrote:
It’s not at all a normal or accepted thing to ask to be compensated for returning earlier. If you feel you need the time, ask to take the time. Don’t forget- they’re not the ones paying you for that leave. The government is. The money is coming out of taxes they and you paid.
(Is it a big office that’s required to give you the additional family leave?)



I don’t understand. If I’m entitled to 18 weeks off, why would I come back earlier if there’s no incentive? Not milking the situation but why would I work if I can stay with my baby and get paid 80% to not work?
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:22 pm
SYA wrote:
In one company I worked at, we took 6-8 weeks (6 weeks disability and 2 weeks paid family leave) The other 10 weeks were spread out throughout the year until the baby turns one. We used for an extra week before Pesach and over Pesach, so you don’t need to work Chol Hamoed, same for Sukkos, and the remainder for the summer when business was a little slower.

It’s important to be upfront and let your employer know as soon as possible. They may decide to hire a temporary worker to fill in for when you’re out.


It’s a frum company. Everyone wants off YT and chol hamoed. It wouldn’t be fair for me to take off then and I wouldn’t end up doing it.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:23 pm
amother OP wrote:
I don’t understand. If I’m entitled to 18 weeks off, why would I come back earlier if there’s no incentive? Not milking the situation but why would I work if I can stay with my baby and get paid 80% to not work?


I would do it because for my long term job security it’s worthwhile. They’ll be happier and more likely to give me a raise the next time I ask because I didn’t leave them hanging for 18 weeks. That said, if I physically needed the time I would take it.

Not all offices are required to save your job. Only if they have a certain amount of employees.
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amother
Clematis


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:23 pm
amother OP wrote:
I don’t understand. If I’m entitled to 18 weeks off, why would I come back earlier if there’s no incentive? Not milking the situation but why would I work if I can stay with my baby and get paid 80% to not work?


So take the time or spread it out over the first year.
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amother
Nemesia


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:29 pm
In my company if someone takes more than 12 weeks post birth it ends up affecting their performance for the year and can have an impact on the next evaluation for raises.
Some take 12 weeks and during quiet times take off a week here or there or when child is sick and it's still part of PFL if within the first year.
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:29 pm
amother OP wrote:
I don’t understand. If I’m entitled to 18 weeks off, why would I come back earlier if there’s no incentive? Not milking the situation but why would I work if I can stay with my baby and get paid 80% to not work?


So then do that. Don't ask them to compensate you more. It looks very bad on you. There is no incentive to coming back earlier besides for getting your full paycheck not a percentage.
I just had a baby bh a few weeks ago. I have been working from home pretty much right away. Officially I will take 6 weeks but if I want more time it will be spread out throughout the year.
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