I just can’t get into it

amother

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 8:49 pm

I just can’t get into it
I feel like I can’t even start

I’m so overwhelmed. But not sure why so much

Haven’t shopped , made menu. Nothing

I’m so stressed and can’t breathe

My dh hurt his back. I’m being such a bad mean wife & not being nice

When I think about him being out of commission a state of panic overtakes me & I am frozen

Help me gain some perspective & get a grip

amother

DarkGray

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 8:56 pm

It’s ok to feel that way. You don’t have to shove that aside.

Practically speaking, focus on one task at a time. Can you clean the freezer so you can do shopping and buy meats etc?

Next you can look one step ahead and go there..

Tao

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 9:04 pm

Totally get you. I start with a list, divided into a) things that MUST get done, and b) things I'd like to get done (sorting out the linen closet, chametz pots etc goes here!)

Then I tell myself that it's only 3 weeks, I just need to get through the next 3 weeks. Which makes it not seem endless.

I try to do one thing a day, starting with the most time consuming stuff/stuff I hate first, so that as we get closer to Pesach less stressful jobs are left.

amother

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 9:04 pm

Don’t know if this falls under pesach or emotional health
I feel like THE worst wife.
When every thing is hunky & dory me & dh are great. But when he is suffering with back pain, I get silent. I’m panicked on the inside & thinking the worst.

When I’m unable to do whatever , dh is so nice to me. I’m just awful

What the heck is wrong with me ?

amother

Plum

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 9:50 pm

amother OP wrote:

do you have anxiety in general? I get like this too. for me it comes from anxiety and panic and instead of being nice and gentle with sick person I get terrified and snappy.

amother

Gold

Mon, Apr 01 2024, 9:56 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I'm in the same place. I don't know if I'm depressed or what. I can't think of the enormous amount of work. Plus no money to buy food

I haven't done a thing either. Other years I feel like I was almost finished cleaninf my house by now
This year I haven't started a thing. I think I will just do the kitchen this year and that's it. Too bad

amother

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 6:40 am

amother Plum wrote:

do you have anxiety in general? I get like this too. for me it comes from anxiety and panic and instead of being nice and gentle with sick person I get terrified and snappy.

I don’t have anxiety in general

It’s when my dh gets debilitated I get snappy with him. It’s an underlying fear that paralyses me. I’m scared.
He’s my rock and voice of reason
& when that’s shifted I can’t handle it & that’s when I get scared & panicky.
Normally we are such a solid team. Me - I get things done with lists & organizing.
& he helps with 1. Shlepping stuff. 2. Calm, grounded & relaxed
& now he can’t do either of those things.

I don’t have kids at home anymore. All are married. All are coming to me for pesach
& despite my dh reassuring me that by the time it’s pesach, he’ll be fine. I don’t believe it. & in the meantime I’m the one stuck with all the work.

To top it all off, my son who lives in same city & has 5 kids asked me in a voice note yesterday if I can have his 3 & 6 year old for shabbos b/c him & his wife want to go away for shabbos. (They were all here at my house this past shabbos ) I said no , but seriously 😳
Banging head

amother

Orchid

Tue, Apr 02 2024, 7:24 am

I feel this way, too. Also felt like that about Purim. Somehow, it came together. For Pesach, I got a cleaning lady. Today, she's doing the basement (we have 2 guest rooms there, and a neighbor needs them for the second days). Next Tuesday, she's doing upstairs bedrooms. Week before Pesach, main floor. My husband and I will do the kids play room and kitchen (to turn it over). One floor, per week, with most of the labor by someone else is my way of managing. I am beyond exhausted thus year, working full time and my husband is gone working till 7pm everyday. Between helping kids with homework, moving along my my job (which, bh, is high income but super stressful), I can't breathe, let alone make a proper Pesach. We thought about going away on a program but I'm too cheap. I'd rather spend extra to get pre-made foods to enhance what I'm able to cook than leave for the whole thing. All I can say is thank you Hashem for cleaning help and amazon!