Dilemma, being there for husband or child

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Forum -> Household Management

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fellowjew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:30 pm

I put it under this forum cuz I wasn't sure where it belongs exactly.
My husband is undergoing a minor surgery, he will be discharged an hour or 2 later, he would technically need someone to accompany him and bring him home. I have a 20 month old at home.
Issue 1-
Being that it's erev Pesach I feel like I can't send a little 20 month old to someone for 5-6 hours. during the day.
Issue 2-
We would like to keep this surgery under wraps as much as possible.

I'm really not sure how to swing this. Do I send my little girl to someone, tell them a bit about the situation, and ignore the fact that it's a few days before Pesach? Or do I tell DH that I would love to be there for him, but I just don't see it possible and arrange a ride home for him from hospital?

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:32 pm

I would send out my baby for pay
Unless someone else can accompany dh

imasinger

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:32 pm

Can't you bring DD with you? In most hospitals, a staff member wheels the patient to the door (unless they are good to walk), and then the patient can just get in the car. Very doable with a toddler .

Refuah shleima!

Last edited by imasinger on Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:33 pm; edited 1 time in total

Beautiful

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:33 pm

fellowjew wrote:

Do you ha e a babysitter you usually send to? Can you send the baby to a prepesach camp? There are tons of those advertised on my neighborhood. No one will be surprised you need your baby out of the house...having a few minor procedures on my family, 100% you should be there for your husband.

fellowjew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:34 pm

imasinger wrote:

The plan is for me to accompany him and be there throughout, and then bring him home, I can't see how to properly care and entertain a toddler for 5-6 hours in hospital...

pnimi

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:34 pm

Can you think of anyone else who can accompany him? And maybe you can co.e pick him up afterwards?

fellowjew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:35 pm

Beautiful wrote:

She does go to playgroup, but surgery is scheduled for 2pm, I doubt we'll be home before 8-9, giving recovery and traveling

tichellady

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 7:41 pm

What does he want? Why don’t you decide together?

Tzutzie

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:07 pm

I understand your dilema.
But imo, send her out. It won't make a difference for her in the long run, even in the short run, she'll probably enjoy it. And be totally OK. But you need to be there for your husband. Even if it's just a "minor" surgery. You are his wife. It's just how life works (or should work).

essie14

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:39 pm

Send her out or get a babysitter to pick her up and stay with her in your home. You should be there for DH.

GLUE

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 9:41 pm

How far away is the place?
Can you drive him there come home and then come back to pick him up?

I have done this a few times.

ProudJew

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:31 pm

You should 100% be there for your husband. BUT you cannot dump your baby on family/friends for 5-6 hrs right before pesach with no explanation. Only other option is to hire someone to come babysit.

Chasidishlitvak

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 10:44 pm

I would feel you should be there for DH if possible.
However, my DH asked me not to come for a minor procedure as it would have been diffiult to work out (I was also post pardom).
He also begged me not to come when he had to travel for pre-op for a major procedure as he felt it would be hard for me. Yes I went for the procedure and recovery.

rim

Sun, Apr 14 2024, 11:38 pm

So many high school girls are off. Maybe someone can come play with your baby or take her out to the park. You don’t have to say why. Just that you have an appointment a little distance away and it’ll take a few hours .

teachkids

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 1:07 am

I would drop him off and then hire a babysitter at home just for the time after

The Happy Wife

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 4:22 am

I think plan A would be to find a babysitter.

If you can't find a babysitter, I would bring your child. Bring snacks and activities like you would if you were flying. It's hard to be pulled in two different directions but it's doable.

happy chick

Mon, Apr 15 2024, 4:30 am

I agree with hiring a high school /sem girl to babysit. Especially if you think you'll be out past her bedtime, you certainly don't want to be dealing with a cranky toddler.

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