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-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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 Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:33 am
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There are other days of the year to visit than Pesach, so I can get my nachas and enjoyment then. So yes, I would gladly allow my child to spend Pesach at a hotel. I am not that competitive or jealous or possessive.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 10:28 am
OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol.
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zaq
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 10:58 am
| zaq wrote: | | OP would you PLEASE correct the title to "could have gone"? Every time I see it, it's as jarring as hearing a piano out of tune and a choir singing flat. |
I see you did. Thank you!
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 11:44 am
| amother OP wrote: | OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol. |
I KNEW it!!! 
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:31 pm
You still think OP is a bored Bochur??
Why though? Doesn't sound so outlandish. Not that I know anyone is this situation, but still.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:47 pm
| amother OP wrote: | OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol. |
Op where do you get the idea that they can afford a Pesach program? Anyway, not everything in life is dependent on if it can be afforded. They want to celebrate Pesach at home with family (which includes you)
What is the help they are asking if you? Do you even know or will this be the first time you spend Pesach there and your speculating and allowing your thoughts to bring your mood down?
Tip for life: comparing never makes for more happiness
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol. |
This post and your first post sound so different from each other.
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sequoia
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 12:56 pm
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Oh thank G-d you changed the title.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:10 pm
[quote="amother OP"]OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol.[/quoteing to]
Just trying to understand. Initially you said that you will be "stuffed in a small apartment" but now you said that they are well off?
You also said initially that they never go away and now you say that some years they do go away? How so when they only use "minimal ingredients"?
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:11 pm
Just trying to understand. Initially you said that you will be "stuffed in a small apartment" but now you said that they are well off?
You also said initially that they never go away and now you say that some years they do go away? How so when they only use "minimal ingredients"?
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Cheiny
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:16 pm
| amother OP wrote: | OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol. |
Oh wow, so they are well off, and they go to a hotel program when it’s just them… then I’d respectfully suggest to them that it would be nicer and easier for everyone to go to a hotel. Maybe they’re not aware how difficult and even unpleasant it can be for your guys,
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Cheiny
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:17 pm
| amother Catmint wrote: | Op where do you get the idea that they can afford a Pesach program? Anyway, not everything in life is dependent on if it can be afforded. They want to celebrate Pesach at home with family (which includes you)
What is the help they are asking if you? Do you even know or will this be the first time you spend Pesach there and your speculating and allowing your thoughts to bring your mood down?
Tip for life: comparing never makes for more happiness |
If she’s saying they’re well off I’d imagine she knows that to be the case.
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Cheiny
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:18 pm
[quote="amother Watermelon"] | amother OP wrote: | OP back, loving the supportive and empathetic comments! I am trying my best to see the other side just bitter about the disparity. Additionally as I mentioned before my in laws are only home for Pesach when their kids are around to do the work. When no one is around they go on a program. They do have a cleaning lady. They are well off. Just different cultural norms/expectations.
My family doesn’t always go on programs so I’m just really missing a nice opportunity for my family to go away and feeling really sad about it because it is not every year.
Sorry for being such a “princess” or secret bored yeshiva bochur according to some lol.[/quoteing to]
Just trying to understand. Initially you said that you will be "stuffed in a small apartment" but now you said that they are well off?
You also said initially that they never go away and now you say that some years they do go away? How so when they only use "minimal ingredients"? |
You think everyone who’s well off lives in a big house? I know plenty who don’t, and you’d never know they were wealthy based on how they choose to live.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 1:54 pm
| Cheiny wrote: | | If she’s saying they’re well off I’d imagine she knows that to be the case. |
Ummm
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.
And if she’s a new dil, I’m sure there are many things she doesn’t necessarily know about them and there are also probably things that her in-laws aren’t telling her. I’m not up to the being an in law stage, but I’m sure I wouldn’t tell my children in law all about our finances. My kids don’t know our income. And even I don’t know what our income is.
And some people put on good shows about being wealthy. Really, the people who are most likely to be wealthy don’t drive brand new cars,and they don’t lease cars. They tend to live below their means and don’t live in McMansions. Generally, the car leasers and McMansion owners or renters are nouveau riche and have to be very careful in their new status. (Ever read about all the huge lottery winners who were broke within a short amount of time? Happens to most lottery winners. Money doesn’t buy happiness.)
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 2:29 pm
[quote="amother Dandelion"]Ummm
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.
And if she’s a new dil, I’m sure there are many things she doesn’t necessarily know about them and there are also probably things that her in-laws aren’t telling her. I’m not up to the being an in law stage, but I’m sure I wouldn’t tell my children in law all about our finances. My kids don’t know our income. And even I don’t know what our income is.
And some people put on good shows about being wealthy. Really, the people who are most likely to be wealthy don’t drive brand new cars,and they don’t lease cars. They tend to live below their means and don’t live in McMansions. Generally, the car leasers and McMansion owners or renters are nouveau riche and have to be very careful in their new status. (Ever read about all the huge lottery winners who were broke within a short amount of time? Happens to most lottery winners. Money doesn’t buy happiness.)[/quote
Most people generally know what their income is. It’s pretty alarming that you don’t. And yes, most people do know if their parents and in-laws are well off.
I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say here..
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 2:56 pm
| Cheiny wrote: | | Oh wow, so they are well off, and they go to a hotel program when it’s just them… then I’d respectfully suggest to them that it would be nicer and easier for everyone to go to a hotel. Maybe they’re not aware how difficult and even unpleasant it can be for your guys, |
Do you know the cost difference between flying a whole extended family on a Pesach program and just 2 people?
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amother
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 4:47 pm
[quote="amother Jetblack"] | amother Dandelion wrote: | Ummm
Those who say don’t know and those who know don’t say.
And if she’s a new dil, I’m sure there are many things she doesn’t necessarily know about them and there are also probably things that her in-laws aren’t telling her. I’m not up to the being an in law stage, but I’m sure I wouldn’t tell my children in law all about our finances. My kids don’t know our income. And even I don’t know what our income is.
And some people put on good shows about being wealthy. Really, the people who are most likely to be wealthy don’t drive brand new cars,and they don’t lease cars. They tend to live below their means and don’t live in McMansions. Generally, the car leasers and McMansion owners or renters are nouveau riche and have to be very careful in their new status. (Ever read about all the huge lottery winners who were broke within a short amount of time? Happens to most lottery winners. Money doesn’t buy happiness.)[/quote
Most people generally know what their income is. It’s pretty alarming that you don’t. And yes, most people do know if their parents and in-laws are well off.
I’m not really sure what you’re trying to say here.. |
I know what category we fall into but I don’t know exact amounts.
I’m just saying that a new daughter-in-law might not be privy to her in-laws finances. It’s truly none of her business.
And from the first post she wrote it made it sound like a complete opposite of a later post. It’s probably somewhere in between. Not to mention it’s entirely inappropriate for a daughter-in-law to decide what her in-laws should or shouldn’t be doing. I really hope no one from her husband’s family is reading this!
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chestnut
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Fri, Apr 19 2024, 4:53 pm
| amother Dandelion wrote: | | This post and your first post sound so different from each other. |
Correct.
And still no questions answered. We still don't know whether the OP is expected to clean, turn over, shop, cook, and serve or help out as all normal ppl do.
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