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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:07 pm

Purposely not saying who I am in this story to get an honest answer.
A rebbi calls a mother at 6 pm, can I take your son out for ice cream. She answers. I discussed with my husband and we prefer not.

Who was right, parents or rebbe

mha3484

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:09 pm

Parents. I would never allow this and my kids rebbeim honestly would not ask.

momof2+?

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:09 pm

Can’t they both be right?

amother

Mint

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:10 pm

Definitely parents

Cmon be nice

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Well, firstly, I doubt you're the rebbi, but I dont understand the question. Theres no whos right. If parents said no, then no.
Unless he took him out anyway?

Last edited by Cmon be nice on Tue, May 14 2024, 2:11 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Yarrow

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:10 pm

Parents.

amother

Navyblue

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:11 pm

Why is there anyone wrong in this story?

Some would consider it to be a nice gesture on the part of the Rebbi. Others would be too concerned about potential grooming to appreciate it. Or might have other reasons why they don't like ice cream on a weeknight, or consider 6pm too late for an outing.

I don't think the Rebbi was wrong for offering, or that the parents were wrong for refusing.

hotpretzel

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:12 pm

I don't understand why someone is wrong in this situation
The rebbi asked (sounds interesting but okay)
The parents said no (perfectly okay)

amother

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:15 pm

I didn’t write that the rebbe was extremely surprised and shocked that the parents didn’t let

Yes I’m not the rebbe Laugh

but not the parent either

amother

Tealblue

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:15 pm

HUH???
Let me know when the big reveal is whether you are the mom, the kid, or the rebbi. Can't Believe It

amother

Navyblue

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:16 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

HUH???
Let me know when the big reveal is whether you are the mom, the kid, or the rebbi. Can't Believe It

LOL she's probably the wife of the Rebbi.

Brit in Israel

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:18 pm

I would think it depends on the situation.
Is the kid struggling in school or at home and the rebbi is helping?
Is it a class prize and he is asking permission from the parents of the 10 kids who won?

What is the reasoning the rebbi wants to take the kid?

mha3484

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:19 pm

How old is the kid involved?

Success10

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:24 pm

Are you the ice cream?

amother

Snapdragon

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:27 pm

One kid alone with rebbe is a big no for me. 3-4 kids, aged 8+, different story

giselle

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:29 pm

Success10 wrote:

Are you the ice cream?

Haha this makes me think of those posts on SM, I can confirm I was the ice cream 😄

amother

Wandflower

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:30 pm

As a former teacher, I see so much has changed (for good and bad).
It used to be considered very nice if a teacher offered to take a kid out for ice cream. Now it is deemed with suspicion.
I used ti invite my high school students to for shabbos. Sometimes they invited themselves.
It was considered a nice gesture on my part to reach out to students, and I formed a close kesher with many of them over the years.
Today I would never do it.

amother

Honey

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:32 pm

Rebbis know these days not to put themselves in any situation that can seem suspicious.

mha3484

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:32 pm

Highschool students in a group doesn't bother me at all. Even a group of boys with the rebbi planned in advance could be fine. But 6pm is not appropriate.

amother

Lightyellow

Tue, May 14 2024, 2:42 pm

Why is 6 pm not appropriate? Maybe the Rebbi works until 5:45. Maybe the boys go to school until 5:45.
Maybe the assumption is that 6 pm is after homework and dinner but enough before bedtime and Mincha/maariv.

I am missing the context and context is everything. Is it one boy or many? How old? Is there a specific reason for this? Is the reason public? In today’s society, it sounds slightly off, but may not be. As I said before, context is key.

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