Boss yelling at and threatening me

zaq

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 7:24 am

Chickensoupprof wrote:

Not normal, but I doubt the USA has a strong union

Depends on the union. Some are extremely powerful. There are many different unions, but not all workers are unionized. An employer does not have to hire union members. Some workplaces have no union. In some places, workers must join a union, while in others they may choose to join or not.

amother

Cinnamon

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 9:02 am

amother OP wrote:

What is it about me that bosses/managers feel comf yelling at/bullying and threatening me? I'm at a fairly new position and made small error today and my boss was fuming and threatened me with my job. This isn't the first person who yelled at me like this over the years. What is it about me that makes bosses yell at me? Is this normal? I'm so upset.

Toxic people find kind and assertive people a threat. If you think you have these positive traits to a high degree then this may be the reason.

Read up about it. Knowledge is power. Strengthen your boundaries. Know it isn’t your fault. A healthy person doesn’t yell at a worker. Especially a new worker. Hugs and hatzlacha raba!

Highstrung

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 9:16 am

Absolutely not ok.

I will never forget , at my second job, my boss yelled at me in front of everyone. When I tried to explain what happened he cut me off and yelled “don’t cut me off!”. I didn’t respond. That day another coworker called me that the boss called her to tell her to apologize to me on his behalf. I could not believe that he was a coward and was afraid to apologize directly. I was not ok with this.
When I returned to the office I wrote him an email that said , I really like working here and have been very happy at the office. But there is one thing I will never tolerate , is him or anyone else yelling at me. If it ever happened again, I will leave”. He apologized profusely and it never happened again.
You need to stand up for yourself and not accept such behavior. I learned this from my first boss. A customer came in screaming at me , since I sat at the front desk , so I was the first person he could speak to. After he left , my boss who was a major farfrumt person who didn’t look at me while he spoke to me because of Shmiras aynayim , told me , never ever allow a man or anyone to yell at you. You are a woman and a man has no right to ever yell or talk down to a woman that way. That message from him left an indelible mark on me. I didn’t love him as a boss. But he gave me a message to take with me for life. And B”H I have always been treated well by my bosses and have never experienced yelling. It’s totally uncalled for and you need to call it out when it happens.

amother

Molasses

Wed, Apr 26 2023, 9:32 am

You might want to try a larger corporate environment, or ask around before you take your next job to see who’s worked there and how they were treated. Some small offices are not run professionally. There was an article in the Binah magazine about toxic work environments, so don’t feel you’re the only one this has happened to. And yes, people do sometimes take advantage of someone they think is nice and sweet and won’t answer back - unfortunately.