Can't hear baby at night - WWYD?

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 1:38 pm

I finally got my 14 month old to sleep in her crib at night but... I'm very worried that I can't hear her crying at night. Both of the doors to our rooms are closed (mine bec' we have the air conditioner on in there and hers because otherwise she would wake up) and that along with the noise of the air conditioner, it's very likely that I don't hear her cry. Why do I think this? Because just a few weeks ago, before we put on the air conditioner and we would leave our door open at night, I would get up to her crying at least once or twice a night. My husband says 'good, now she'll learn to sleep through the night' (and it has been nice sleeping through the whole night) but I get very nervous for a few reasons. What if she is crying for a long time, I would want to get up and calm her (if I knew she was crying, I wouldn't let her cry for longer than 5 minutes). Also, what if she really needs me? Like this morning, my fears became reality when I actually did hear her crying at around 5 am, went to get her and she was covered in dry vomit, which obviously means she had thrown up a few hours before and was probably crying and crying while I was sleeping. Crying

So the only solution as I see it is to get a baby monitor. Even though it will disturb my sleep, I think it is important in this case.
What do all you mothers think? Do you think it is good for her to "learn" to sleep through the night like this and that it's ok for her to cry? Do you think it's safe to not be able to hear her? Or would you get a baby monitor?
Thanks for your advice.

Twizzlers

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 1:44 pm

I think a baby monitor is a necessity if you wont hear the child otherwise. in fact, I'm always exhausted shabbos day because my rov does not permit the use of the monitor on friday nite and I dont sleep very well often nervous that I wont hear someone crying (even though my kids sleep thru the nite usually)

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 1:52 pm

The only time the baby monitor I had with my first (who is going to be EIGHTEEN in August!!!!) really bothered me was when it accidentally picked up the cordless phone signal of a neighbor... you can imagine how terrified I was to suddenly hear a woman speaking Russian coming over the monitor and imagine my shock when I went running into my daughter's room to find... just my daughter!

SomebodyElse

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 1:59 pm

amother wrote:

So the only solution as I see it is to get a baby monitor. Even though it will disturb my sleep, I think it is important in this case.

You can experiment with turning down the volume so that it only disturbs your sleep if she's really upset, and hopefully you'll still be able to sleep through any minor fussing when/if she's getting back to sleep on her own.

amother

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 2:02 pm

OP here.

Thank you so much everyone for your validation. That is really what I wanted to hear; I just wanted to make sure that I'm not being crazy for giving up the full night sleeps like some people have told me. I'm glad to hear that my inner gut feeling about needing to hear the baby is valid.

manhattanmom

Thu, Jun 11 2009, 2:14 pm

I have a baby monitor. Because I live in a big building with lots of buildings near by, I have a lot of static due to interference of everyone's wireless networks and cell phones.....I've learned to sleep with it anyhow. I even sleep through the babies crying. DH is the one who hears them at night! Wink

amother

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 12:11 am

Twizzlers wrote:

Why isn't a baby moniter permitted on shabbos? I set mine with a shabbos timer, to turn off in the morning, plus I put a piece of tape on the moniter switch to prevent me from accidently turning it off.

amother

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 12:16 am

I think a mother should never NOT be able to hear their kids. Get a monitor and on friday night when you can't use it give up the air conditioner or leave the doors open.

Quote:

I think it may be something to do with one transmitting their voices or noise over it or maybe it's because of the lights that show up (well mine has lights)

leomom

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 1:04 am

A rav once told me that I could leave a baby monitor on during Shabbos, but that I should make sure not to make any noise myself when in the baby's room so that it wouldn't be transmitted. I never used that "heter" though, because I really didn't think that I could avoid making any sounds, practically speaking.

So on Shabbos, I do make sure to leave doors open and/or check the baby frequently.

OP, I think it's dangerous to not be able to hear your baby all night long. You saw it yourself, that you missed the point when your baby was crying so hard (presumably) she threw up. (Even if there was another cause, the throwing up is a choking hazard, not to mention unpleasant for the baby.) Other things can happen, too -- a leg or arm could get stuck between the bars, for example.

And aside from physical dangers, it's my belief that a mother should be available for her baby (and older children!) during the night, in case they are scared by a nightmare, or even just wake up very thirsty! Babies and children need adults to help them when they have needs -- at night too.

alpidarkomama

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 1:40 am

YESHASettler wrote:

That happened to me once too, only I was alone in the house (I think I was taking a nap while DH had the others out), and it was a man's voice! I lay frozen on the bed for several minutes before I figured it out.

pinkbubbles

Fri, Jun 12 2009, 7:39 am

You can get a baby monitor and set it on low volume. I use one every night and it only wakes me when hes really crying, not just complaing (he'll do that and fall back asleep on his own)

It is also possible to find one that changes channels when there is interference. I have one like that - expensive, that I bought with baby gift money. Its great because we can use it in every country too. I've never had a problem with it.

Ask your Rav about Shabbat, but its always possible to open her door and yours a crack just before you go to sleep. If something is wrong you should hear her.

MidwestMommy

Sun, Jun 14 2009, 9:51 pm

Twizzlers wrote:

I'm the same way and DH just thinks I'm too nervous. Glad I'm not the only one!