Great guest..but brings annoying younger sibling

amother

Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:31 pm

We have a single guy who likes to come to us for Shabbos. However, sometimes when he comes, he brings his little sister with him. I think she is about 11. Problem is, she is beyond annoying. I feel bad saying so, but she really drives me nuts. Whenever he goes to daven, I am stuck watching her. She drives my kids totally crazy, too. We have a very open home when it comes to guests, and there only a few people who I don't enjoy having and think twice about. She is one of them. The brother is so nice, and I know my husband enjoys having here.

He would like to come, with his sister, this Shabbos. I just had a baby and am not really up for having guests anyway. Plus, the baby is over 30 days, so I had to fast. I know I will feel very weak for a few days as a result. I really don't need a guest who makes me want to just hide all of Shabbos.

DH will be very disappointed if we don't have them. He hasn't seen the brother in a while and would like to have him. I would say OK to him, but I know I can't handle the sister.

Any advice?

mummiedearest

Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:43 pm

either say no completely, or tell the bro that he's welcome to come, but because of the new baby you really can't have an extra kid to deal with this week.

levial

Thu, Jul 30 2009, 3:49 pm

"Yes absolutely we'd love you to come. But I do have a favor to ask, since we just had a baby. Please take your (annoying) adorable sister with you...I'll need to nurse and rest and I can't entertain her this week. If you come, please take her with you to shul."

Another option is to organize a play date in the am and/or PM- do you have a friend with a girl or two her age...?

And you just had a baby...so if DH wants to have them, by all means, DH, but you'll walk her to the playground, right?

amother

Thu, Jul 30 2009, 11:56 pm

OP here: Thanks for the suggestions! I have daughters that the girl can play with, but she really bothers them, too. We have so many different types of guests and my kids get along with EVERYONE! She is just extremely whiny (would you want to have to watch someone's whiny sister). She complains (at the table she complained about the food non-stop). She is annoying (many examples for this one!) If they come, dh plans to bring my older kids to shul and tell the guy to bring his sister, explaining that I just had a baby and need to rest. I hope this works...I am really tired from having a newborn and fasting.

drumjj

Fri, Jul 31 2009, 2:48 am

I would ask him not to bring her.ill give u an example I have a divored bro in law who has a daughter who is six months younger than my second. his plans for pesach fell through and he ended up asking if he could spend pesach with us. I had a young baby I think she was about seven weeks old so I told him im more than welcome to have you but I cant cope with having ur daughter for the eight days im sorry. he understood my point totally and even though it was hard for him he left her with her mum for pesach and went to visit her on chol hamoed. im so happy I did what I did bec I wasnt coping with things and I know I would have resented him bringing her. sometimes u have to do whats best for you.