phone calls | Imamother

amother

Fri, Jul 31 2009, 11:16 am

Let's say a phone call is made where someone is obviously upset. The person called is too busy but never says so and goes about her business while keeping you on the phone. Do you hang up since they're not talking anyway? Who should make the callback, the one who was busy or the one who was obviously distraught?

If the one who was busy doesn't call back would you take that as a hint that they are not interesting in talking you through this? What about in general?

levial

Mon, Aug 03 2009, 10:16 am

In a perfect world, friends are the people you call when you're distressed. They either drop everything to talk with you OR are perfectly frank and say 'Listen, I'm at the store, then I pick up Moishy, so let me call you in about 3 hours. Then I can give you my undivided attention" or at least call you back to see how you are when you are discernably upset.

However...it doesn't sound like it went down that way. Next time, call the person out: "I can tell I've phoned at a bad time because I had hoped to get your opinion, and I can see you're a bit busy. Is there a better time today? I'm really upset and would like to talk thru it with you."

If you kinda dropped the call "Ok, listen, I'll talk to you later, I've gotta go" she may have the impression you will phone her back.

Give her one more chance. First ask if she has the time as you want her to give you some input (ie. not just say uh huh, uh huh) If she says no, and she doesn't say she can talk later, the next day, that's the hint to me. Then give her the gentle feedback "Listen, I was really upset this afternoon and I know you were trying to be there for me. Just next time, tell me to call you later if it's really not the time to talk on your end." Then get over it and get to talking.

PS- I hope everything is ok for you!