please help me get my baby to sleep before I lose it

ray family

Thu, Aug 20 2009, 2:36 pm

My daughter is 17 mos old.
I'm having such a hard time getting her to sleep and stay asleep at night.
I don't want to leave her to cio but I"m on the verge of doing it.
please offer advice, suggestions encouragement before I lose it.
my daughter was nursed to sleep (problem 1?) until age 13.5 mos. when I started weaning her the only way she would go to sleep would be lying down on me w/ a paci.
now she will not go to sleep any other way.
on the avg night it can take up to an hr for her to fall asleep.
once she does she'll wake around 3 times before I go to bed and then at least another 3-5 times in middle of the night until I've had enough and bring her to sleep w/ me.
usually she wakes for a drink. she refuses to drink out of the sippy cup that's right beside her
my husband usually will not deal w/ her in middle of the night if he does it's to bring her to my bed.
I dont know if I would necessarily have a problem w/ her sleeping w/ me if I wasn't 7 mos pregnant and trying to get her out of my bed and also if she would stay sleeping when she was w/ me- which she doesn't
I'm totally out of my mind w/ her.
I find myself yelling at her, crying over her and begging her to sleep nearly every night bec I can't deal.
I'm having a very difficult pregnancy and having to deal w/ this high need child (it's not just at night it's all day long- she wants to be held and if she's not in my arms or sitting on my lap then she's crying) is driving me nuts.
I dont have patience for my older son-3- either bec I'm so exhausted during the day (he also wakes up 2 times a night although lately he stopped calling for us and just comes to our room)

PLEASE if anyone has any ideas on how to get her to sleep and stay asleep I'd really appreciate it
and if you have any ideas for how to get my son to stay asleep in his bed that would also be great

Seraph

Thu, Aug 20 2009, 3:34 pm

Op, I totally get you. My son was like that also, and though I'm against CIO bishita, I ended up doing CIO when I thought he was old enough to understand the concept of "Mommy loves you. Its bed time now. Good night. Mommy will come get you X (when you wake up, in the morning, when its light out, etc...)"
That was at a year old. CIO at an older age is different than as a baby. As an older kid they understand mommy hasnt abandoned them for good, etc...

WriterMom

Thu, Aug 20 2009, 4:02 pm

Seraph wrote:

Ditto all of this. I'm not a huge fan of CIO, but as Seraph says, if you're a responsive mother who meets your child's needs, you're not going to do psychological damage to them if you make sure they're dry/warm/fed, and then put them down for the night.

Plus, you're 7 months pregnant and will soon be dealing with an infant who will very much need you around the clock. That does make a difference. You simply can't afford to spend hours of your night putting an older child to bed and nursing/cuddling in the middle of the night.

Good luck. One of my kids took almost 2 years to sleep through the night. It was brutal. Somehow, we all survive, right? (HUGS)

sneakermom

Thu, Aug 20 2009, 6:52 pm

I agree with Seraph. Your baby is old enough to understand. You have to give her the message that night time is for sleeping in a long stretch. I used to pat my toddler on the back, check if she needs anything and say goodnight, if she cried and went nuts I said firmly, "No, go to sleep". Then I went into my bedroom and anxiously waited until she stopped crying. If she persisted for more than ten or fifteen minutes I went in again and tried my best to calm her in crib, sang, made nice, and then said go to sleep in a firm voice. Usually it took a few rounds and towards the end when she was ready to give up I had my husband go in and he calmed her down. It worked.

At this point you are doing a disservice to your baby because everyone is simply falling apart. Tough love is in order to preserve the family unit.

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!