PLEASE TAKE A HOTEL

amother

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 5:20 pm

This is the message I got since joining imamother. With the 100s of rules a guest has to follow and the 100s of rules the guests give the hostess I believe Hachnosis Archim is not what I thought it was. From now on I am taking a hotel room. And Guests - Please find a hotel room before contacting me. I dont appreciate seeing a list on imamother of tens of things you expected in your room (really??? I have to cover the seforim shank?) A toilet plunger, toilet brush, Liquod soap?? I dont have any of those. Chocolate??? I really learned alot about people from these boards.

PAMOM

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 6:08 pm

Yeah, all the comments can seem like a lot (I get to decide where my books go, and I can't imagine being intimate in someone else's home) but I've tried to read these threads as ways I can make my guests more comfortable without feeling like I'm running a B and B. I have a lot of last minute company so I've learned to expect the unexpected: I have new toothbrushes, mini bottles of makeup remover, all those samples of makeup from dept stores, good towels, and but I think I'd feel weird putting out treats unless there are kids. I think I need to check my pillows, though!

dee's mommy

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 8:42 pm

Basically, one should make their guests as comfortable as possible. The other thread is overwhelming, but I think it reflects our collective experiences as guests. It can be pretty uncomfortable to be in someone else's house and that should be kept in mind when hosting.

We all have different types of accomodations to give our guests, and we all do our best.

Tefila

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 9:16 pm

B"H
SOmehow I detected slight sarcasm in Op post . Op I catch the drift but as one poster said it's only suggestions. Yet I do agree a guest should be Thankful they have a roof over their head and some food to eat but imho there is one more having been on the
other side of the fence too there is nothing worse then a host who makes a guest feel unwelcome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fox

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:42 pm

Here's what rubs me the wrong way: between work and family responsibilities, most of us here on imamother seem to have our platters pretty full. I am sure we all try very hard to make sure we have our bathrooms stocked and plenty of fresh supplies of various types. But haven't you ever run out of liquid soap, toilet tissue, facial tissue . . . fill in the blank? I know I have! And you know what? I survived Shabbos despite it.

Sure, in a perfect world, I'd have pristine matched sheet sets, fluffy new pillows, and a way for guests to fan or heat themselves. At the same time, my air conditioning would never be sluggish, my appliances would never cause mayhem, and my house would be spanking clean! And fairies would be dancing on the lawn . . . !

I've met very few hostesses who say, "Oh, I make an effort to give people the most uncomfortable conditions I can possibly imagine." Most of the time, unpleasant conditions for guests are the result of the financial, time, or space constraints of the hosts -- not a lack of desire to make their guests feel welcome.

So if I've run out of soap, toilet tissue, etc., right before Shabbos, why would I judge my hostess harshly for having the same thing happen? Especially knowing that she's most likely trying to juggle a job, kids, carpools, etc. Just the fact that she's willing to extend any accommodation is a tremendous chesed!

People who are extremely sensitive -- dare I say "finicky"? -- need to make a decision: they can either resolve to roll with the punches, realizing that Shabbos is only one day, or, as the OP suggests, they can stay home or avail themselves of a commercial establishment.

Crayon210

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:43 pm

I think it's safe to assume NOTHING when you go to a host for Shabbos, except a bed, basic linens, meals, access to water, and a toilet with toilet paper. Yes, soap should be standard, but maybe for some reason it's not (no one uses that bathroom on a regular basis, no one goes to the bathroom on Shabbos ;-), etc.). It's easy to bring a small bottle of hand sanitizer, or to ASK!

Do not expect chocolate.

punktfarkert

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 10:51 pm

I agree--- the other thread is very overwhelming! Apart from being busy and juggling a million things as many other posters have discussed, welcoming guests can also accompanied by financial strain. If a family is living modestly, they may not be able to provide all the bells and whistles that would be "nice" in a hosting situation - though I would still commend them for opening their homes and extending themselves.

bubby

Mon, Sep 07 2009, 11:04 pm

Sometimes the pillowcases don't match the sheets & the towels never match anything, but I like to think I am a generous host. Everyone gets a key, we show them which side is milchig & fleishig, show them where to find tea, coffee, cups, plates, etc & I feed them if they want. Judging by repeat visitors, it must be OK.

We have had so many people stay I don't recognize them when they see me on the street. Sometimes they say hello, I look blank & they tell me they are sleeping at my house! embarrassed

The Bochurim who stay feel so at home they come in to the kitchen when I'm cooking, help themselves to whatever, & stay to shmooze. One guy from South Africa is staying somewhere else but comes over every day to eat & learn as he says he feels more comfortable in our house!