Help my 8 year old is constantly making his Tzizis Passul

amother

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 8:08 pm

My eight year old is constantly making his Tzizis passul. I don't know what to do about it. We put him in tallis katan everyday and we go through a pair every otehr week. Does anyone have advice/tips on what to do?

Pizza

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 8:37 pm

I retied my sons' tzitzis when he messed them up
its not that hard
then my hubby said maybe I shouldnt have, since its not a womens mitva. I said, hes not bar mitzva yet, I dont think it matters. you could always teach your son to tie, that may serve as a behavioral deterrent as well

Pizza

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 8:38 pm

alternatively, you could say one morning, 'no tzitzis for you, they are all untied. go to school without' Ill bet he'll stop pretty quickly if hes the only 0one without!

(in other words, stop solving his problems, let him face consequences sometimes... it does wonders!)

Mrs Bissli

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 10:46 pm

There is a DIY tying guide on www.tekhelet.com

I know some women tying tzitzit for their fiancees/chatanim and I haven't heard anything that specificially invalidates tzitzit tied by women. But ask your Rav.

shalhevet

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 11:41 pm

Pizza wrote:

I disagree with this strongly. We are trying to be mechanech our children in mitzvos, we shouldn't even suggest the possibility of going without tzitzis for a day.

About women and tying tzitzis - I learned it's okay for tzitzis for boys under bar mitzva. I know how to tighten the knots, but not repair the ones that are untied - I really should learn. Before tightening/ knotting say: leshaim mitzvas tzitzis.

shalhevet

Sun, Jul 19 2009, 11:43 pm

louche wrote:

He's not bar mitzvah and it's technically just for chinuch anyway--so don't sweat it.

What does this mean? That it doesn't matter if they're passul? That it doesn't matter if he goes without? Confused

We are mechanech to do mitzvos properly. We don't have to be mechanech for hiddurim, but certainly to keep the ikkar of the mitzva.

gryp

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 6:18 am

My 6 yr old recently started shredding his. There's not much I can do about it. I certainly can't tell him that he won't have one, because he knows he can't really walk around or eat without tzitzis. When he starts chewing on them, I tell him he needs to tuck them in completely. I know it's because of anxiety and not because he doesn't want tzitzis, so I don't think it's fair to take them away or even punish him at all. I can't exactly beat him over the head for having extreme anxiety. All I can do is buy him the cheapest kind even if it's not the tzitzis I prefer he wears, and when he gets over this stage, I'll buy him the ones made according to our minhag. I can't exactly afford $15 every day for a new pair, but I'll be happy and relieved to finally get him through this stage, and buy him the tzitzis I want him wearing in the first place.

mummy-bh

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 6:27 am

I don't know what my 9 y.o does to his, we joke he eats them in the middle of the night because they seem to shrink at an alarming rate What

My hubby showed me how to check the knots and I do that every morning since the boys are three, until they can do it reliably themselves. I can tie the last two knots but any more intricate repairs need to get shown to him.

Mommy3.5

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 7:21 pm

Just so you know, the most important knot is the top one that is actually attached to the beged. As long as that one is good, the tzitzit are kosher to wear. I took all my sons tzitzit to be checked, and I was told only 4 corners of the 48 possible corners I thought was pasul was pasul.

You can also just bring them in to your local judaica store, and for 2 or 3 dollars they will replace only the corner that is pasul.

I believe that each corner can be missing one string and still be kosher.

OTOH, wearing pasul tzitzit is a bigger problem then wearing no tzitzit. Its a torah requirement that a 4 cornered beged must have tzitzit. But the torah does not actually require you to wear a 4 cornered beged. (although we don't hold that way)

I would never punish my son, by not allowing him to wear tzitzit. Boys will be boys they will play and tzitzit can easily get in the way.

Encourage the boys to tuck in the tzitzit when biking or playing sports. Strings and bikes are a safety hazard for the boys and the tzitzit. Tucking them in keeps them from breaking.

daisy

Mon, Jul 20 2009, 7:23 pm

My son usually tucks in his tzitzis for bike riding because he once had a big scare with that. However, he generally doesn't like his tzitzis tucked in because they tickle his skin.

Mommy3.5

Tue, Jul 21 2009, 6:33 pm

daisy wrote:

My son usually tucks in his tzitzis for bike riding because he once had a big scare with that. However, he generally doesn't like his tzitzis tucked in because they tickle his skin.

How about putting them into his pants pocket?

busymom4

Mon, Sep 21 2009, 7:37 pm

I heard there is a kind of tzitzis that comes glued by the bottom knot so it does not unravel (my son likes to play with his tzitzis until the whole thing comes undone!) Does anyone know where I could buy such a thing?

amother

Mon, Sep 21 2009, 7:43 pm

I one time sent my son to school with new tzitzis. He came home from school with only 3. Apparently he had an accident and the asst teacher cut it off. I wasn't laughing then but I kinda laugh about it now.