Crib Cage | Imamother

Ronit

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 9:24 am

greenfire wrote:

amother wrote:

use a toddler bed an put a gate on the door like most of the normal world,

not really any different as I see it ... a gate - a crib tent Confused

I dissagree. There is a big difference in putting up a gate, or caging in.

When I put up the gate, ds can come to our bedroom, but nowhere else. I guess it depends how your house is set up.

This has nothing to do w/ cosleeping or not. In fact the night ds went & flooded the kitchen he was actually sleeping with dh in his bed. Ds just quietly sneaked out.

We need to keep our children safe. If they have a tendency to roam the house, & do dangerous things, even more so. But that doesn't mean it needs to be done in a cruel way.

the world's best mom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:26 am

Lilkingdom wrote:

Just curious, those of you who consider a crib a cage. Is a high chair also a punishment? and a car seat? and a carriage? Do you always let them be loose cuz if they have the slightest bit of restraint then we are treating them like animals??? Personally I think those kids who never have limits often grow up 'untrained animals!' I'd rather have a trained animal than an untrained one.

Sure, if the kid doesn't want to be there. If I put ds in the high chair and he doesn't want to stay, I assume he's not hungry and take him out. How would he be more trained if I made him sit there and cry? What would he be trained to do after that? Same with a car seat or stroller. When it's a matter of safety, he has no choice but to cry. I'm not happy to leave him crying in the car seat, he ends up no more trained after each car trip, but he's safer for the trip so I do it anyway.

momtomany

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:29 am

I had a 2 year old, who not only climbed out of his crib, he helped his 1 year old brother climb out, then proceeded to unlock the chain lock and deadbolt on the front door, and they went outside at 6 am to play in the snow with only boots and pjs. the 1 yr old had no boots only blanket sleeper footies. and I only woke up when they came home and my 1 yr old tells me I'm cold.

yeah, you dont want to go there.
I highly recommend a hook and loop closure at the very top of the door so that you need a stool to reach it, and 2 baby gates one on top of the other at the kids bedroom door.

Lilkingdom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:33 am

the world's best mom wrote:

Lilkingdom wrote:

So you expect your child to listen to his teacher and do his homework just because he was told? What if he cries and doesn't want?? Is he exempt? It's not a matter of safety right?
Kids have to know that certain things are done because 'mommy said so'. Of course parents shouldnt abuse the power but sitting in a highchair during meal time is a normal standard method of dicipline which although it has no significance now, it trains them in to listen to elders. Kids who get away with what they want every time they say boo bec their mom decided it's sad that the kid cries, woaw is for them. Those are the cry babies who grow up knowing that crying gets them out of everything.
I don't necessarily disagree with you. Sometimes you do have to give in to your child. But not always. Kids need dicipline. Sleeping is mandatory in my house. I have friends who have their kids up all night, in and out of bed... practically a circus when it's meant to be quiet in the house. I would give my kid toys and books in crib, but when it's time for her to be there she must know that she HAS to be there. Not every time she wakes up during the night does she have the priviledge to decide its day and wake up the house. In general it trains them in to healthy sleeping habits as well.

Last edited by Lilkingdom on Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:37 am; edited 1 time in total

greenfire

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:36 am

Lilkingdom wrote:

Is a high chair also a punishment? and a car seat? and a carriage? Do you always let them be loose cuz if they have the slightest bit of restraint then we are treating them like animals??? Personally I think those kids who never have limits often grow up 'untrained animals!' I'd rather have a trained animal than an untrained one.

you've got a point there ...

just don't cover the crib - although truth to be told I remember wondering if the was an invention to put atop a crib ... it is the first automatic action ... I think training the kid to sleep in a bed is much more conducive to safety ... and I've transferred all my kids to beds at age two w/o any issue ...

now the question is how to get her to sleep later ?!

the world's best mom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 11:48 am

Lilkingdom wrote:

the world's best mom wrote:

Lilkingdom wrote:

I expect my children to do things that are beneficial for them. Yes, homework is necessary. So is going to bed at bed time, brushing teeth, getting dressed in the morning, eating healthy food at meal time... and no amount of crying from my kids will make me change my mind on those things. But sitting in a stroller is important only while you are walking in the street. Sitting in the high chair is a must only while the kid is eating. When ds finishes eating, he gains nothing from sitting in the high chair and crying. If I want to go shopping and let him sit in the stroller crying, he is suffering for no good reason. His job is to run around and play and learn through playing. He loves doing that. Why would I make him stop and sit in one place and cry?

Lilkingdom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 12:22 pm

That is my point exactly!

It's beneficial and safe for them to sit in stroller while your walking on the street. What if he puts up a fit and tries to jump out? You strap him in right?

Same problem here. During bedtime, it's very important and beneficial for any child to be in the crib and sleep. What if he/she tries to crawl out? You restrain them!

The solutions with gate at doorway, or toddler bed or mattress on floor are all the same idea. It's keeping the child in one place teaching them that bedtime means sleeping and not running around the house. As cruel as restraining in crib may seem (and no, I'm not considering a cage. Looking for other more decent ways to keep her in crib) it still is the same idea as strapping the child into the stroller.
So for those amothers who freak out immediately and bash on posts, I suggest you take a moment to think ( really think) if it's actually that bad. Many things you do with your kids may appear the same way to other parents. Each child needs restraint in diff ways. It does not make them animals.
The WILD is a place where all animals are set free and let run loose. I do not want my child to belong to the wild.

So if ayone knows of some gadget or way of keeping my dd in her crib, without actually caging her in from all sides, I'd very much appreciate!

the world's best mom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 1:03 pm

The one thing I would disagree with you on is that sleeptime, to me means you have to go to sleep. I understand you don't want to, and you are miserable, so I'll do all I can to make it more bearable. The same way I would sit next my my baby in the car and comfort him when he cries, because I do feel bad that he has to be restrained, I also want to make bedtime as pleasant as possible. I wouldn't say, "You have to go in your crib and stay there until morning. Good bye, I'll see you when it's a normal time to wake up." If my kid was getting up and playing, I would put a baby gate by his room for safety reasons, and to tell him that instead of getting up and playing, he should call me and I'll come help him go back to sleep. Whether that means cuddling in my bed with him, or getting him a toddler bed and cuddling there, (yes, I've done it many times) or just sitting in the room with him...
No, going out to play is not okay, but that doesn't mean the kid has to stay in her crib by herself and scream when she doesn't feel the need to sleep anymore.
This is my opinion. I'm not telling you what to do. I know not everyone agrees with me. Different strokes for different folks.

the world's best mom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 1:06 pm

Lilkingdom

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 1:23 pm

the world's best mom wrote:

Now you're talking totally different. I have to agree with you. When my child is sick, had a late nap or not tired I would never force her into the crib. But on regular basis she knows her bedtime. And she is fully ready and tired for bed but simply rebelious.
For those who know me well, know that I (most of the time) rock my dd to sleep! I'm not a monster, I cuddle with her and give away my time to actually put her to sleep in my arms. And to make it more pleasant when she doesnt want to sleep I allow her toys and books in crib. I don't lock her in and walk out. I have a monitor system in her room and she talks to me as well. The sole reason I need to restrain her is for the midnight mornings that she decides to make. At 4am, no matter how rested she is, she cannot get out of her crib. And I don't think that is cruel. The same way she has to sit in her seat till the end of class. I talk to her from the monitor and she knows I'm there. Am I cruel for not allowing her to get out of her crib and play (developing a habit of waking up at 4am) or coming into my room and waking us all up?

amother

Mon, Dec 28 2009, 1:42 pm

munchkin wrote:

and 2 baby gates one on top of the other at the kids bedroom door.

We did this with our first two who are 14 months apart. We didn't have a playroom, so they would play in their bedroom. They were 2 and 3 at the time. The 3 year old was much stronger, so she would push really hard on the gate until it loosened from the door a bit. Then my then 2 year old (who was really skinny) would manage to squeeze through the small opening. Then, with her on the other side, the two of them would somehow manage to free the entire gate, and my 3 year old would then escape. I would find the top gate right in it's place, with the bottom one on the floor. (It was actually really funny and we still laugh about it.) Then, off to the kitchen they went to get some cookies that were on top of the fridge. I always thought dh was giving them out. Then, one day I caught them piling chairs on top of each other to get the cookies. DD1 would hold the chairs and dd2 would climb and get the cookies. (Funny, too. After I caught them, I changed the location of the cookies, though)

We used a crib tent for my son. He was the 1st boy after a lot of girls. They never escaped their cribs, so I was completely nervous about his getting out and adventuring. He wasn't ready for a bed yet. And I didn't think the gate thing would work (See his sisters' antics aboove!) So, I bought the crib tent. I felt really mean putting it on. Then, I put him in the crib....and he loved it!!! (If he had screamed, I would have taken it off). I think he really liked the protection. (Or maybe deep down, he knew how much mischief he'd get into,) He loved sitting in there and looking at his books and playing with his toys.