don't work there any more- what to say?

amother

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 4:14 pm

I worked at a school for 8 years, teaching and doing some administration work (part time vice principal). the last few years of my job I started to look for an out because I was unhappy and felt I had no more room for growth there, but I stayed b/c I needed the money and couldn't find something that made more. the last year was terrible- I had a run in with a new principal and didn't finish the school year due to being on bed rest.

people ask my opinion of the school ALL THE TIME, I don't know what to say. the truth is I wouldn't send my kids there ever, I think the school is corrupt, more focused on pr than good education, etc. etc. but I don't want my comments to get back to the school b/c they are like the gestapo.

what should I say when ppl ask me straight out- things like "why did you leave?" "should I send my kids there?" etc...???

Cookies n Cream

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 5:10 pm

Wha can happen to you if you say the honest truth? Do you have children attending the school that they can kick out if it gets back to them?
Do they owe you $?
In what way do they still have control over you?

Mrs Bissli

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 5:26 pm

Is there anyway you can stick to objective/factual comments, or failing that try to balance pros/cons?

"Why did you leave"? Short of answering NOYB ("none of your business"), you can just reply "well, that is a personal decision that I prefer not to elaborate" and just leave as that.

"Should I send my kids"? "It really depends on what you're looking for. The school is good at XYZ, but my observation is that they can do better with ABC."

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 5:29 pm

Mrs Bissli wrote:

I agree with this. At the same time, I would ask a shayla about whether you're allowed to answer the second line. Even though it's theoretically l'toeles and would normally be fine, I'm wondering whether you'd be allowed to present it as an unbiased observer. IIRC, there are halachos about not being able to answer l'toeles if you have an "axe to grind" with the party being asked about...

I do agree that the "why did you leave" question does not deserve an answer. No reason for them to be asking that other than idle curiosity.

SplitPea

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 5:45 pm

I totaly hear you.... I worked for a school for some time (I have worked for a few different schools)

when People ask me about school A. I would give an answer
"My kids will bli neder not attend there" and leave it at that.

I have school B that I say something like "the preschool is one of the most amazing programs around I just wish their elementry matched up."

and for school C I say something "If I hashkafically matched with the school (we are sephardi) I would send my kid there in a HEARTBEAT"

I don;t speak BAD about the schools I have worked at but I give a true but non descript statement. you almost might try "I think think that school is a good match for your child"

Yes there is one school I wish I could say "that school is corrupt horrible and that go against everything midda in the torah" but somehow I hold myself back Smile

levial

Wed, Jan 20 2010, 11:03 am

Why did you leave is something asked in interviews, much less in social settings. "It was the right time in my career to look for an opportunity to grow" or some such.

Would you recommend the school? Ask back "What are you looking for in a school?" or ask about their current experiences...draw them out and say "I don't know if it is right for you- -perhaps." (or as another poster said, if it's flat out an issue just say you don't recommend it.

amother

Wed, Jan 20 2010, 11:25 am

the reason I'm afraid to say anything bad is that it always gets back to me and I don't want to be at war, even though I hate the school, I want it to be in my past and move on (it has been a year) I still know tons of teachers and students who go there very well and have strong, positive, relationships with many people.

I agree every school has problems, but there are plenty of schools to chose from and I can't in good conscience recommend it.

I'm thinking of answering, "to make sure it's a good fit for your child, why don't you go for the day and check it out." what do you think?

and thank you mrs. bissili- your answer is perfect "it was a personal decision"- I have to practice saying that.

Fox

Wed, Jan 20 2010, 1:55 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

Of the places I used to work, I only say “I’m out of the business; things change rapidly”. That’s enough.

I think this is an excellent -- and accurate -- approach.

I have a similar situation; my job often brings me into contact with the business operations of various schools and organizations. One thing I've learned is that the experience of someone working in an institution may be very, very different from someone experiencing it as a parent or as a student.

Much of what makes a "good" school is a result of individual teachers. Even administrators are often a step removed (unless there's a problem!). I've seen schools run by people with whom I don't even want to share oxygen on the same planet -- yet which manage to do a great job at the classroom level. Since teachers and classroom assignments change frequently, I think you'd be perfectly correct to follow CM's advice and simply say that you don't know what's going on there now.

If someone really presses you, just keep repeating, "You know, it's been a while since I was in the loop -- maybe ask someone who works there now or even better, whose kids attend now."