Crying It Out- Misuse of Medical Studies.

rydys

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 1:27 pm

excellent post, marina!

Unfortunately, there are people who will skew studies to their own benefit both on the "natural" side of parenting as well as on the "medical" side. It irks me to see people do that on either side.

For some reason, there has developed an "us vs them" mentality--either you do it the "medical" way or the "natural" way, and each side seems to think that their way is correct, to the exclusion of the other way.

The reality is that when raising children there are no absolutes. Each child and each set of parents is unique and needs to be handled in an appropriate way.

Some of my children I did CIO with at 6 months, after reading Farber's original book. I found that those children were actually HAPPIER after they learned how to sleep through. I did have some kids, however, who I did not feel that was the right way for and they were catered to for longer. There is no absolute right or wrong.

Your point about crying at any time is well taken. All children need to learn self soothing techniques as well as limits. Crying is part of that learning. When I refuse to let my baby eat a food that is dangerous for him, he cries--but I don't give in. Anyone who has more than one child has had times where they needed to pay attention to one, and the other one cried. It is not possible to cater fully to multiple children at once.

I have seen children whose parents catered to their every whim (usually only children). When they grow up they are usually miserable because the real world is not like that. It will not cater to their every desire, and instead of learning that slowly as children, they learn it the hard way as adults. They also often have social issues as they have never learned how to share.

chavamom

Tue, Jan 26 2010, 4:12 pm

The original Ferber book did not say 6 mos, it allowed for "Ferberizing" as young as 6 weeks of age. He's also retracted and said he never meant for it to be used as it has. While I hate for studies to be misrepresented, I also hate that the only message anyone remembers is "let 'em cry or they'll never learn to sleep" - which even Dr. Ferber doesn't believe.

Quote:

Dr. Ferber, 61, says that he has been largely misunderstood. When he first published his book in 1985, "there weren't any others," he says. The book, which has been reprinted 45 times, contains advice on a range of sleep issues, from bed-wetting to teens who can't get up for school on time. But he is most known for his signature controlled-crying method, which involves leaving a baby alone in the crib to cry for progressively longer intervals until he or she falls asleep. Parents are instructed to go into the room at the end of each interval to console -- but not touch or pick up -- the child.
Dr. Ferber, who is also director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston, says that now, "we've had a lot more experience. There really are a lot of different ways" for children to learn good sleep habits.

Dr. Ferber says that he will be revising his book because some parts need to be updated. For instance, he says new research suggests that babies don't need as much sleep as he originally advised. And he wants to clarify that his crying technique was targeted at a specific problem: the child who can fall asleep only while being rocked or held. While he still presents this approach in his new edition, he says he tells parents they can use gradual steps to wean a child off of rocking and soothing behaviors. And he clarifies that some children such as those suffering from anxiety will not be helped by the crying method.