not quite the 4 sons from the hagada...chizuk please!!

amother

Sun, Feb 21 2010, 5:12 pm

I have 4 sons kah:

one avreich with full beard, hat, jacket and black chariedi kipa
one yeshiva drop out with shaved head Exclamation

, no hat or jacket, small knitted kipa
one yeshiva bachur with no beard (yet - he's too young), hat, jacket and yechi kipa
one cheider drop out with yechi kipa

only one what I invisioned at their upsheirins.
Rolling Eyes

the world's best mom

Sun, Feb 21 2010, 5:18 pm

Hugs.

So far, my son is a She'aino Yodaya L'Shol. Let's hope he ends up as a Chacham. I know it is heartbreaking when children do not maintain the lifestyle that we work so hard to instill in them.

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 12:38 pm

amother wrote:

I have 4 sons kah: one yeshiva drop out with shaved head Exclamation

, no hat or jacket, small knitted kipa

I think we may share a son. The bald one with the knitted kippa, to be exact.

You know, admitting this fact should not be sooo terrible, but I am still upset enough over it that I feel I can't do it as anyone other than amother....And my son is really a wonderful guy with great middot who any employer is thrilled to have on staff; it's just that he's so disgusted with the chareidi community in Israel.

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 2:05 pm

pacifier wrote:

I think you're doing well, if all 4 of your sons still wear kippot!

yes, BH but I don't take the credit for that - I think it's zechus avos; all their forebears were moiser nefesh to remain religious in the USA no matter what.

racheleezzy

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 2:11 pm

I guess for your standards its upsetting to you, but trust me im sure some woman would kill to have their sons even wear a kippa at all.....Not that you don't have the right to be upset but try to look at it in a more positive light.

imasinger

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 2:15 pm

It sounds like you did a great job focusing on chanoch hana'ar al pi darko. Enjoy each of them for the special neshama that they have.

amother

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 3:14 pm

imasinger wrote:

It sounds like you did a great job focusing on chanoch hana'ar al pi darko. Enjoy each of them for the special neshama that they have.

thank you - that's real & meaningful chizuk.

Ruchel

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 4:44 pm

amother wrote:

pacifier wrote:

I think you're doing well, if all 4 of your sons still wear kippot!

yes, BH but I don't take the credit for that - I think it's zechus avos; all their forebears were moiser nefesh to remain religious in the USA no matter what.

People who go off the derech are by definition from frum family...

PinkFridge

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 5:26 pm

Let me add my voice and second all these wonderful replies. Not quite the four sons, but B"H in some positive ways. May you always see shalom between your kids and the kind of nachas you hope for AND that is best for your kids.

pacifier

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 6:01 pm

amother wrote:

pacifier wrote:

I think you're doing well, if all 4 of your sons still wear kippot!

yes, BH but I don't take the credit for that - I think it's zechus avos; all their forebears were moiser nefesh to remain religious in the USA no matter what.

Why don't you give credit to yourself? You're part of their ascendants, anyway, you're their mom. And their first zechut avot.

PinkFridge

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 7:10 pm

amother wrote:

pacifier wrote:

I think you're doing well, if all 4 of your sons still wear kippot!

yes, BH but I don't take the credit for that - I think it's zechus avos; all their forebears were moiser nefesh to remain religious in the USA no matter what.

I missed that one.
There may well be some zechus avos there. There's also a powerful amount of siyatta diShmaya. That still leaves room for your efforts and tefillos ;-)

imasinger

Mon, Feb 22 2010, 7:20 pm

amother wrote:

thank you - that's real & meaningful chizuk.

And thank YOU for letting me know. It's always so nice to know when you say something here that hits someone the right way.

amother

Tue, Feb 23 2010, 1:33 pm

Ruchel wrote:

amother wrote:

pacifier wrote:

I think you're doing well, if all 4 of your sons still wear kippot!

yes, BH but I don't take the credit for that - I think it's zechus avos; all their forebears were moiser nefesh to remain religious in the USA no matter what.

People who go off the derech are by definition from frum family...

when the parents are BT's, the children go OTD but their forebears weren't necessarily frum.

but yes, I guess I am also part of their zechus avos - ty for the well-placed chizuk!!

Mommy3.5

Thu, Feb 25 2010, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

I have 4 sons kah:

one avreich with full beard, hat, jacket and black chariedi kipa
one yeshiva drop out with shaved head Exclamation

You have 4 sons who all wear a kippah, and identify as Jewish, is it really so bad?

Our children have to choose their own path, its not all about us. We can'r expect that they will end up as mirror images of ourselves. Its ok for them to choose a different path, BH they all wear kippot, trust me, that is huge.