5 yr old still making accidents

amother

Sat, Apr 10 2010, 9:10 pm

5 yr old ds still having accidents, please help!
I had a very hard time training him since he's 2.4 yrs. It was a nightmare for the whole family he finally got out of pullups for the day at 4.2 yrs. I don't think it's a physical thing since some days he's perfect. This child is not easily bribed or threatened with prizes or punishment. If he wants something really bad he will be good till he gets it and then go back to accidents.
PLEASE HELP!
My next kid is almost 2 how will I do it again?

Crying

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 1:00 am

amother wrote:

If it's only at night try a sleep alarm. Do not punish or make him feel bad. It's cruel and will only make the problem worse.

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 3:40 am

Read a book "Boss of my bladder" given to me by my ped. when my son turned 6 and still had accidents at night. Really interesting and useful. There's a kid section and a parent section.

Up until 6, he told me to wait, not to give too much sugar (juice is bad!), make sure they drink enough during the day, and tiredness/streess can often make an accident more likely to happen.
Remember your son is good, accidents are not (usually) deliberately done to make you upset.
React calmly and matter-of-factly.
If he's old enough, let him help strip his bed, make him shower, etc.

As for your two year old, no 2 kids are alike... my next son after this one is b"h bli ayin hara having no night problems and he's 3! (FYI, I had older kids who had never experienced this either. Trained was trained.)

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 8:34 am

op here, I guess I wasn't very clear as to when his accidents occur. He is not night trained at all. His accidents happen during the day. I have to go to his cheder at least twice a week to change him. When he is in a public place or doesn't know where the bathroom is he just pees in his pants instead of asking to be taken.

shalhevet

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 8:39 am

You should firstly check out there isn't a physical problem such as weak bladder muscles.

If that is all okay, I would just ignore it - at home if he wets himself give him clean clothes to change into without comment; if it's at cheder, change him as quickly as possible without fuss and leave. He has quite possibly found this to be a great attention getter.

shaindifer

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 9:17 am

amother wrote:

If it's only at night try a sleep alarm. Do not punish or make him feel bad. It's cruel and will only make the problem worse.

I know the OP's problem was later clarified that the accidents are during the day. Regarding nighttime accidents, however, they are considered normal until about age 7. My pediatrician did not recommend using the sleep alarm until that age.

amother

Sun, Apr 11 2010, 10:34 am

shaindifer wrote:

amother wrote:

If it's only at night try a sleep alarm. Do not punish or make him feel bad. It's cruel and will only make the problem worse.

Perhaps there is a good reason for this, but we used the sleep alarm at 5 and it worked like a charm.

twinniesmom

Thu, Apr 15 2010, 10:16 pm

im still having bathroom issues with my almost 6 yr old son. at first no matter what I did he was having accidents all the time, after months of training. sticker charts dont work with him and it was really hard having to constantly go the cheder to change him in kindergarden. what I finally decided was to concentrate on having him stay clean in school, rather than putting the pressure on him (and me) for him to go to the bathroom in school. this worked somewhat to the point where he basically learned to control himself in school and I make a huge deal about it when he comes home clean and then I try to have him sit on the toilet for a while in the evening to make him go. hatzlocha!

twinniesmom

amother

Fri, Apr 16 2010, 2:12 pm

amother wrote:

shaindifer wrote:

amother wrote:

If it's only at night try a sleep alarm. Do not punish or make him feel bad. It's cruel and will only make the problem worse.

Perhaps there is a good reason for this, but we used the sleep alarm at 5 and it worked like a charm.

The reason for this is that it's normal for kids to have nightme accidents until that age so he did not recommend treating it until it was no longer considered appropriate (even though it was annoying dealing with the accidents).