Early toilet training questions

amother

Sun, Jul 04 2010, 8:56 pm

My son is just shy of his second birthday, and I never thought I'd start toilet training this early. But he's VERY verbal, and a few weeks ago he started constantly (correctly) commenting on the fact that he had "poo" in his diaper, and he's obviously aware of when he's going, at least number two. So I got out some kids' books on using the potty and bought him a potty seat. I was adamant about the fact that we're not pushing him right now - after all, he's a boy, and he's not even two yet, and there's absolutely no reason he has to be trained right now - but I figured it couldn't hurt to introduce him to the concept since he seemed so ready. He's the oldest (the baby is just a few months old), and he doesn't come in the bathroom with us, so I figured even if it took six months for him to get interested, at least by the time he's potty training, he'll have gotten used to the concept for a while.

So now I'm not sure what to do. He now talks about potty training a LOT, constantly. He gives me a list of people who "put their poo in the toilet," talks about how he does/will too, etc. Asks to read those potty books ALL the time. And he asks to sit on the potty about once a day, at random times. So he sits on the potty, we read him a book, then he gets off, we "wipe" him, he flushes the toilet and watches the toilet paper go down, he washes his hands with our help, etc. But I don't think he really knows what "going in the toilet" means. He is so proud of himself for sitting on the potty, but not once in the past several weeks has he actually done anything on it. I've tried giving him more to drink (I can't force him!), letting the water run, etc.

So here are my questions:

1) I can't back off now, right? We make a big deal about him sitting on the toilet; should we downplay that? Or is this a good thing, even though he doesn't "go"? I mean, at least I guess he's practicing the process? I just don't want to push him too hard, especially if he's nowhere near ready yet.
2) Is there any way that I can help him "accidentally" make on the toilet so that he puts two and two together?
3) He refuses to touch his aiver or let me touch it. (No idea why he would be so sensitive about it? I don't act strange or anything about it.) So the first time that he goes, he'll probably spray all over the place, and possibly scare himself. Any tips?
4) Sometimes he asks to go to the potty right AFTER he has a dirty diaper. It's much easier to lie him down to change it; if I don't and just wipe him with the diaper as best as I can when taking it off, there's still plenty of stuff stuck to him when he sits down - yuck. But it feels wrong to mix "changing table" (which yes, he stills goes on) and wipes with "potty" and toilet. What do you think?

TIA!

amother

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 11:24 am

So here's the news - he did it today! First time. But it sprayed all over the place. Made a big deal about it, and tried to show him how to push it down so "the pee will go in the toilet" - and he WANTS that to happen (just like in the books), but seems terrified to let me touch him, and he refuses to do it himself. Any tips?

In terms of putting them on at set times - my son is at the "no" stage. I am more or less positive that if I start running the show and putting him on when I want, he'll start resenting it and saying that he doesn't want to (and if I push it, throwing a tantrum). I can't imagine that would be good for his toilet training, right? So right now, we go whenever he says he needs to...

amother

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 11:52 am

Oh, I should have specified. He uses the big toilet with a potty seat on it, not a potty. And he's going to have to learn to push it down sometime, right?

I guess there's no going slow once you start potty training? I really want to avoid the stress of all the accidents right now. I'm home all day, but I work from home, and I have an infant here too (so I might be out of the room putting him to sleep while older ds is making a puddle on the floor). I really didn't want to rush into this, just wanted to start the wheels rolling. But now I feel like I have no choice? Or maybe I still do.

GingerSpice

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 12:06 pm

amother wrote:

Yes he will but maybe right now it'd be easier if he had something he could get off and on by himself without needing your help? I mean of course he will need your help with wiping and such but my son started going by himself on the potty too and now has an actual seat insert also.

I have also found that some of the seat inserts are smaller then others. The one I have my son has no problem with and doesn't have to push it down but when using the one at his friend's house he does.

I have an infant also so I know how hard it can be, we had a few puddles and such but you just keep telling them that they should sit on the potty and their more likely to notice it and realize whats wrong if its not happening in their diaper where there is no mess, know what I mean?

amother

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 12:12 pm

Okay, I want to clear up something. When I say I want him to push his aiver down, I do not mean that he's standing. I mean that when he's sitting, he needs to push it down so that it actually ends up in the toilet. Does that make sense? Dh says that adults do it as well (or use the front of the toilet seat to do essentially the same thing. Is that true? I obviously know nothing about the urinating habits of little boys.

Dh (and I, to tell you the truth) is a bit disgusted with cleaning out the potty seat all the time, which is why we wanted to use the insert. He has a stool and can get on and off by himself. He's been getting plenty of practice - at the beginning he couldn't, but by now he's a pro.

We have carpet. And I'm not the cleanest mommy, which means if he goes behind a couch, I might not find it for a day or two until it started stinking...

But my bigger issue is that I really don't want to force things. I don't want him to feel guilty when he has an accident - again, if he were three, I would feel differently here. But why push him and make him feel so much pressure (especially so soon after the baby has come and made him pressured to begin with) when it's really so early?

GingerSpice

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 12:24 pm

I was talking about sitting down Smile

In my opinion two isn't early, one is.
I'd catch this window of opportunity that you have b/c otherwise he may not be interested in it later and being older it may be harder.

Carpet is hard, maybe try just wearing loose pants, like sweatpants that he can pull up and down easily and will notice the mess without getting your floor dirty? The diaper or pull-up kind of defeats the purpose (unless your using cloth) because they really notice what happens when they pee.

Its not easy but its sooo worth it ;D

amother

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 12:58 pm

amother wrote:

Search for a toilet seat cover that has a large cup for the boy's aiver.
You are making perfect sense about him needing to push down his aiver in order to aim in the toilet. It is something that will need to be worked on. Talk to him about it in story form for a few days before attempting if he seems afraid for you or him to push it down.

amother

Mon, Jul 05 2010, 1:18 pm

amother wrote:

But thank you for the story form thing. I'd feel kind of weird telling this "story" in public, but I could do it at home with just us. Um, but wait, what would the story be? A kid who was scared to push down his aiver, but then she did and he made in the toilet, yay? Does that sound weird?

It doesn't sound weird. If it's said at home in privacy. I think first start off by telling him that this is what we do in order to use the bathroom. Then you can say that a, b & c do it too. (Dh when he sits, a little cousin his age, etc.) Then tell him the story. Bring it up a few times a day maybe.