Sending 2 yr old to playgroup... where the DH assists

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Chayalle

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 6:45 am

And BTW...I had a pre-1-A teacher - a WOMAN - who was a cold fish. She did not like me, and I knew it and I cried alot that year. I'm sure that she was considered an excellent teacher - she ran the classroom like a drill sergeant.

My brother, OTOH, had a preschool Rebbe who was warm and caring. My mother had previously worked as the secretary in the Cheder, and she watched how he took care of his charges, with fatherly benevolence and warmth. She was quite comfortable sending her son to that group.

I simply don't understand people who quickly assume that men cannot be childcare givers. They would sooner send to my teacher than to my brother's Rebbe.

Merrymom I guess we can respectfully disagree....

Ruchel

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 8:18 am

Men are animals, ladies, don't you know already? Rolling Eyes

flowerpower

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 8:27 am

I wouldn't worry so much for the diapering part but the fact that it's a couple running the place.

JRKmommy

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 8:49 am

I'm sorry that the paranoia out there has caused so many posters to fear something that should be perfectly normal.

My kids have gone to daycares with male caregivers. They were wonderful.

IME, a far bigger risk comes from trusted males friends and relatives, and from those is a position of authority. For some reason, we don't get paranoid about them.

When your ds gets older, are you going to worry about what a teacher or rabbi may do to him?

SharonB

Mon, Jul 12 2010, 12:33 pm

DD1 is almost 3 and is coming to the end of a fantastic year of Gan. The Gan is run by a husband and wife who are both in the Gan and there are 3 other gananot there too. The Gan is mixed. I must admit that at the beginning it was a bit odd that there is a man there. Looking back though I think it's good for the kids to see a man during the day (probably even more so for the boys). The kids love him as much as the Gananot.
I have no hesitation in sending DD2 to that Gan.

DD1's metapelet ran the mishpachton in her house. Her husband and sons (she doesn't have girls) were there and I never felt a problem.

I understand the concerns, but there have been childminders caught physically abusing children too. Check out the Gan, get references, ask other parents.

ora_43

Mon, Jul 12 2010, 1:14 pm

I think the risk of abuse may be slightly higher with a male caretaker, but it's also important not to underestimate the risks of distrusting all men. A child stands to gain by seeing men in caretaking roles.

The feeling that there's something creepy or "off" about a man taking care of children is a natural reaction to the messages sent by today's society, but it's also misguided and unhealthy IMHO.

I also think that with several caretakers around, the chances of any kind of abuse from any of them are lower.

mominlkwd

Mon, Jul 12 2010, 2:31 pm

I have sent all my kids to a wonderful playgroup morah who uses her husband as a substitute when she has to take her kids to the dr. etc. He is a wonderful man who happens to have a flexible job that allows him to work from home when need be. When I first heard about it I thought "wow that is STRANGE" but in a way I think it's good for the kids to see a father figure during the day. I do know that one mother pulled out - this being one of her main reasons but all the other parents I spoke to love her and even though it's a bit out of the ordinary we are ok with it.

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