7 year old behavior

amother

Mon, Jul 19 2010, 7:27 am

O Help! My 7 year old delicious boy really knows how to push my buttons. At times when hes good, hes great but when hes testing, hes really bad. So this morning woke up in a great mood ready to start my day on the right foot and he starts up by saying he doesnt want to go camp and pulling a lot of shtick. I was trying to feed my baby (who has a feeding disorder) and my husband was sleeping. I tried to go into another room but he kept following me and still arguing, complaining adn I really lost it, bad. But I mean really bad. I needed him to just go into his room so I could calm down s/where. But that wasnt working.

What made me snap was that he hit his sister, for the trillionth time this weekend. S/times I feel like I cant get thru to him. We tried charts, but that only works for a week or so... I recently bought him a toy adn I told him if I see good behavior for 3 days, I'll give it to u. But so far e/day has been awful. Hes being chuzpadik, talking back...

I dont like to scream but lately thats all I see working...I was brought up by a mother who abused me phsyically and emotionally and I dont want to do that to my son...I dont want him to have the issues I s/times have now.

My husband cant deal with it. All the time he says, I dont have energy for this, which exasperates me even more and gets me more angry.

Any help would be appreciated.............

Tamiri

Mon, Jul 19 2010, 8:26 am

amother wrote:

thats it?? Ure only suggestion is a parenting class????

That's what I wrote. You have a background, which scares you. So you may be reacting to totally normal behavior as was done to you. It pays to first find out what's normal, then see if you need "real" intervention. Little boys use their hands, a lot. They don't do it out of malice. Many times, it's how they talk. Being chutzpadik? That's what you are there for - to teach him what's right. This is about the age when they start to separate themselves from mommy emotionally. He may be trying things on for size. Angelic children usually don't happen. Menches do, with their parents' hard work, and it takes YEARS.

amother

Mon, Jul 19 2010, 1:05 pm

I also have a 7 year old and the whining/shtick/pushing buttons does sound normal. Is he your oldest? Mine is my oldest and I think that no matter how many more children you have, first borns feel some sort of jealousy at other siblings (because they remember being the only one) and they manifest that jealousy in different ways. In my experience, my 7 year old starts acting this way when I've expected her to be a "big girl" and at the same time haven't given her a lot of attention. She needs attention more than any of my other kids. If I make time to give her attention, all of the antics are dramatically reduced. I've also tried yelling - as I'm sure you've seen - it doesn't work. I dramatically reduced my yelling when I saw that my kids were mimicking my behavior - I saw how bad it was. Now, I try to stay calm (it doens't always work but its something I'm working on). Perhaps try talking to your 7 year old, when things are calm and explain to him what your expectations are. Maybe, even make him a checklist for the morning - before you come out of your room, you should do, a, b, c etc...make sure your expectations are very clear. If you always have in mind that someone (HaSh-m) is watching how your interact with your son, I guarantee you that you will yell less and react less violently - it takes time but you'll get there. Good luck!