Question about older child sharing room with baby

cranberry

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:16 pm

We have four children and three bedrooms. So we have one room, and there's two children in each of the other rooms. My oldest two are a boy and a girl. After my daughter was born, there was seven years before my third child was born. Then 16 months later we had another baby. Now each of my older children have a baby or toddler in their room. My 10 year old shares a room with a 21 month old, and my 8 year old shares a room with a 5 month old.

For the most part, there's no problems with this arrangement. The only time there's an issue is during nap time and bedtime. I don't want the older ones to go in the room when the little ones are sleeping because it wakes them up. During the day they are supposed to just stay out, and when they're going to bed, just quietly get into bed and that's it.

Sometimes I wonder, is this fair to my older children? Should I let them go in their rooms when their brothers are sleeping to get things, as long as they try to be quiet (not that they usually are)?

I'm just curious what other people do in this situation.

SingALong

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:33 pm

for the night time bedtime I think its 100% reasonable.
for naptime, can you maybe nap your baby/toddler in your room? I kinow my DD age 6 loves to play in her room with friends she'd be so upset if she couldn't even though there are more than enough toys in the playroom.

but only if its important to older kids. if they are fine with the arrangement, it shoul dbe ok

morah

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:35 pm

I know my DH shared a room with his baby sister at around the age your daughter is, and he said he was constantly getting in trouble for waking the baby Smile

Are the older children complaining? If not, no reason to change anything. If there is a problem, is there a way that the little ones can nap somewhere else, like in your room? Or maybe you can move one into the other bedroom during nap time so that at least one of the childrens' bedrooms is free.

BinahYeteirah

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:41 pm

It seems fair to me. I would be sure to give them a chance to get anything they want out of the room before the little ones go to sleep, but otherwise it is just common courtesy to allow others to sleep.

In our house, all the fun things are kept outside the kid' bedroom, so there really isn't any reason to be in the bedroom other than for sleeping and getting dressed. Of course, my kids play there at times, too, but all the toys, books, etc., are elsewhere, so not having access to the bedroom doesn't hinder any activity the older ones might want to do.

yo'ma

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:43 pm

Is there any reason for them to go into their room once the other ones are sleeping? Since the games are in the room where my toddler sleeps, before he goes to bed, I make an announcement that if anyone wants to play any games, get it now. If they need anything, I'm sure they can take it out and use it out of the room.

yo'ma

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 8:45 pm

BinahYeteirah wrote:

I was writing when you posted this. LOL

cranberry

Sun, Jul 18 2010, 9:00 pm

They have a lot of stuff in their room because it's things that the little ones can't play with, like Lego and art type stuff. We don't have a playroom, so that stuff is kept in their rooms so that it doesn't get eaten/broken. I do try to announce when they're going to sleep. It's usually not a problem, but sometimes my son will come home on Shabbos afternoon after the toddler went down for a nap, and want to play Lego with friends. Or since he goes to sleep two hours after the toddler, he might decide later on that he needs a book or whatever that's in his room.

Right now it's not an issue so much with my daughter, because the baby is frequently in my room and is just starting to sleep in her room. But the toddler used to be in her room (before the baby was born) and soon the baby will be taking more regular naps in her room. She just likes to be in her room, either reading on her bed or coloring, etc. It shouldn't be a problem, except that she's not always so quiet.

I guess the reason I'm thinking about this now is because it's summer vacation, and my big ones are home during the day instead of at school during nap time. But soon the summer will be over, and things will be a bit quieter here.

cranberry

Mon, Jul 19 2010, 7:26 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

Is there a way that you can find a place to store his Lego (and other similar items) elsewhere in the house? On a high shelf or in a high cabinet somewhere?

We probably could figure something out, but the rest of the house is basically just one big area. There's nowhere else that's safe for him to play with the Lego.

c.c.cookie

Mon, Jul 19 2010, 8:55 am

I have a similar situation. I make a big announcement before the little ones go in for a nap, and the older kids have a few minutes to go in and take out a/t they might want. After that, there's no going back in until the baby wakes up. If it's very very important, I'll quietly go in for them.

cranberry

Wed, Jul 21 2010, 8:42 pm

c.c.cookie wrote:

Yeah, this is pretty much what I do now. I guess I'll just keep announcing and reminding them.

Thanks everybody.

shayna82

Wed, Jul 21 2010, 9:24 pm

so, I am about to have a similar situation. we are moving into a bigger house, with 4 bedrooms, one we are using as an office, one for us, and two others. I am putting my oldest who will be 7 in august iyh, with my one year old, and my son who is five with my daughter that is 3 in the other bigger room.

I figure like this:

the only time there will be an issue with feeling like he cant go in is on shabbos, sundays and holidays.
he is at school most of the day, and the baby takes a nap in the morning and thats it, and is in bed at 7. so I am setting up a room in the attic for him - a desk, his toys, he can go up there until bedtime, when he will quietly creep in.

with the other two its not an issue, cuz they have the same bedtime.

good luck, kids get used to situations, so I know that there will be some getting used to.