a gift from my newborn ds, is it weird

amother

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 5:54 am

My fil bought a becher for the shul, we daven in the same one, as a gift in my newborn ds name because we made his brit milah there. That was very nice of him and has nothing to do with us. The weird part is, he had it engraved that it was from my ds, not in honor of him. It doesn't say anywhere on it that it was from my fil. I don't really care, like I said, it has nothing to do with us and his nice gesture, but is that weird or normal?

anon to protect I think the silliness of my fil

louche

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 6:12 am

It's unusual, but IMO rather sweet of your fil to give your ds the credit. I don't see that this is any different from sending a cash donation in someone else's name, which is a very common custom. Basically he's giving your ds the zechus of the mitzvah of contributing to the shul. I don't think it's silly at all.

"Silly" is writing a thank you note as if the baby wrote it. You know what I mean, Dear Aunt Zoe, I just love the crib gym you gave me. It keeps me busy and out of Mommy's hair, and Mommy appreciates that even more than I do! Come see me some time, I've grown a lot since my bris. Love, Chaim Emanuel, aka "pishie-face".

THAT's silly.

Hashemlovesme

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 9:14 am

I think the thank you letter above is cute! Also re: the becher, even if it's not what we would've done, I see that your f-I-l was trying to be shticky, just appreciate the gesture (plus nobody really reads these things) & Mazal Tov!

solo

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 11:37 am

louche wrote:

agreed.
and agreed.
those thank you cards are riddiculous.
and the preprinted ones are pretty tacky too.

louche

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 12:01 pm

solo wrote:

agreed.
and agreed.
those thank you cards are riddiculous.
and the preprinted ones are pretty tacky too.

Soul-sistah! where ya been all my life?

Tamiri

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 12:07 pm

Akshally, I think that was a very nice thing for FIL to do. You see, he is not only giving a gift to the shul, he's commemorating the event (the baby's brit) with the baby's name on the becher. I would be willing to bet that *that* was FIL's intent.
Totally nice.
You know how people commemorate someone or the memory of someone on the parochet? Well, he did it on a silver becher.

louche

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 12:13 pm

Tamiri wrote:

OP didn't think the gift was weird; she thought it was weird that he had it engraved "Presented to Cong. Ahavas Achim by Baby Boy OP" instead of "presented to Cong. Ahavas Achim by Grandfather OP in honor of the birth of Baby Boy OP".

amother

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 12:47 pm

louche wrote:

Tamiri wrote:

op here and that's exactly what I felt louche. It was very nice of him. I'm not complaining at all.

mominlkwd

Mon, Jul 26 2010, 12:57 pm

Tamiri wrote:

I agree. I think it's like donating tzedaka in anothers name so that they get the mitzvah, he was giving this honor and mitzvah of donating something to the shul to your newborn son. I actually think it's beautiful and very touching. Try to think of it this way, if you would receive a letter from the shul saying thank you so much to DS for the wonderful contribution of $XX wouldn't that be considered so nice of your fil? This is an even nicer way in my opinion since it's something that can be used over and over - what shul doesn't need another becher.

4ofus

Tue, Jul 27 2010, 7:17 am

louche wrote:

Thanks for the laugh! I HATE those cards. It's like, we're trying to be all cute but we're not going to put any effort into it at all.