Why are there so many threads about kids in parents' room?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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Tamiri

Thu, Jul 29 2010, 5:50 am

Is this a new phenomenon? Why are there so many kids insisting on waking their parents up at night and/or sleeping with their parents (I am not referring to the co-sleepers) when they have their own room and aren't really wanted in their parents' bedroom?
Are parents being wishy-washy about the way they want the household run and handing it over to the kids? Or are kids "today" more insistant upon getting their own way?
I've been through my share of parent-wakers and the only way around it was getting up and firmly insisting they go back to their room and/or locking our door. Does it go away with any other system?

c.c.cookie

Thu, Jul 29 2010, 6:13 am

I don't think it's the kids today. I think it's the more permissive parenting styles. I don't know about other mothers, but I desperately need dalet amos the are MINE. My bedroom is that. The kids know - mommy's bed is for mommy, you have your own bed. I'll sit with them a while if they're having bad dreams - I make that sacrifice because I want my room to stay my own (oh, okay, I'll share it with my husband!). It's the same during the day- the kids know they're not allowed to play in my room. There are enough other places for them to fly around, wreck etc. I WANT MY ROOM!

chocolate moose

Thu, Jul 29 2010, 7:34 am

Yeridas hadoros.

Mommy3.5

Fri, Jul 30 2010, 1:03 pm

My son just turned 4 and regularly comes into my bed. none of my other kids did this, unless they were really sick. But he always has some sort of reason why he needs to come to bed with me. And he is really articulate at 3 AM! Some nights I just don't fight him. And he always promises that he won't kick... Smile

Isramom8

Sat, Jul 31 2010, 11:41 am

The world is so scary, kids are exposed to the traumatic news all the time. Kids are enticed to grow up before their time. They need the security of home and parents. That need doesn't go on hold between 8 p.m. and 8 a.m. Dark and silence can be intimidating. Blessed are those with parents who are there for them.

I am not saying "no boundaries or limits". I am saying that allowing certain times of access to the parents' bedroom is healthy and provides security, the home serving a a de-stressing atmosphere.

c.c.cookie

Sat, Jul 31 2010, 1:03 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

But why can't that security be provided in the kid's bedroom? When my kids need me at night (which is rare), I sit with them, or lie with them for a while on their bed. This way my space is still mine, but they get their "Mommy time".

Ruchel

Sat, Jul 31 2010, 2:31 pm

Personally my kid's room is very much in my home, so she feels BH secure there. She has her stuff, her Shema poster, her bed, and we are nearby.
She can be in my room all day if she wants, but not after her bedtime. She knows she can call and we/i/dh will come.

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