Far Rockaway- please respond someone

ice coffee

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 4:29 am

We are looking to move somewhere in the New York area. We have been in Israel for the past 10 years and have a 4 kids, the oldest is 9. We heard that Far Rockaway was a great community but didn't hear too many details like,
Are the people friendly and welcoming, are ther e any baalei tshuva?
How are the schools, are they huge classes? Is there extra help for kids (my kids don't read english and will need a lot of tutoring).
Does the school strongly emphasize middos tovos?
Also, does it feel like city or more suburban? Does it feel safe or like you are next to the ghetto? Can you get a house with a nice backyard and trees?
By the way, we are yeshivish and looking for a very integrated, normal , strong yeshivish place. Even though we are baalei tshuva we are looking for a community with majority ffb although we still feel the need to connect to baalei tshuva.
I know it's alot to answer but we have been in Israel so long and want to make sure that our kids will be in the best place to integrate.
Thanks

amother

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 9:34 am

I live in Far Rockaway and I'm very happy here. I've lived here for the past 6 years. It's really a very friendly and warm place, but there are also a lot of people, so it took me at least 6 months to a year to really feel settled and to feel like a real part of the community. There is a HUGE mix of people in terms of hashkafa. I'm a BT married to an FFB and there are plently of other people of both types and we're both perfectly comfortable here. I would definitely label Far Rockaway as being a "yeshivish community", but there are really all kinds of people here. There are also all kinds of people in terms of socio-economic status. There are extremely wealthy, names-on-buildings kind of people, and WIC and food stamps people. I feel very little pressure in that regard.

You can find almost any kind of property that you're looking for here, it's all just a matter of how much you can pay. Within the frum area there are huge gorgeous houses with yards, semi attached homes, 2-family homes, garden apartments, cottages, and even a few of apartment building that frum people live in. I feel perfectly safe where I am. It really feels pretty suburban, but it is true that if you go a few blocks in the wrong direction you can end up in a not-so-nice area, but I think that's true of almost any city (and technically we are in new york city). The frum area is really very large and is growing more and more every day. It's also contiguous with the five towns, so you never have to travel through a bad area if you don't want to.

There are quite a few choices of schools here for both boys and girls. I would have to say that most people in Far Rockaway probably send their boys to Yeshiva Darchei Torah, and their girls to either B'nos Bais Yaakov or Torah Acadmy for Girls. For boys, there is also Siach Yitzchok which is almost exclusively Far Rockaway boys and it's a much smaller, more chassidish school. (There are also a bunch of schools in the 5 towns that some people send their kids to.) All 3 of the main schools are pretty big. The classes range in size from about 17 kids to 30 kids (depends on a lot of factors). All of the schools, although large are really very warm and approachable, and I'm sure will try to work with you on your kids' needs. I have no way to compare my kids' schools to any others, but they definitely try to emphasize middos. I'm not disappointed with their approach to those issues.

ice coffee

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 10:12 am

Thank you so much for such a quick reply, it is a very good start for information gathering. I would be interested to know more about the schools. Would you say that the majority of kids are kind, like you would find in a more out of town community? We have had some horror stories with my son over here and have heard that you will find the same kind of middos in these huge communities as what we have found in our school here.
Although we want a very strong learning hashkafa, we want a place where the teachers are going to train children to treat others the way they would want to be treated, to instill sensitivities.
What is the difference in limudei kodesh vs. chol in the main school vs the slightly chassidish one? Are there any schools nearby that use the zilberman or zichu method?

amother

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 3:14 pm

I agree with the posts above. I came to Far Rockaway in HS as a BT and have now been here for 10 years (got married and stayed here).

I just want to stress what one of the amothers already mentioned- there are very nice houses, but they are VERY expensive (compared to other communities, say, OOT). If you are particular about what you want, you may want to price that before taking the plunge. I have a friend who got married late, and she and her husband were both working professionals who had saved a considerable sum towards a house. She told me that they could not find anything to LOOK at for under 700k.
It also depends on the block- each block is its own story. Some areas feel very safe, others less so. Some blocks were pretty bad a year or two ago, and now are fine. Would you feel comfortable living in a mixed area? The area around Darchei used to be bad, and is really picking up, but my husband and I would not want to live there and choose to spend a lot more on rent.

In terms of schools, I have attended and subbed in most of the schools and do think that the children are taught sensitivity and good middos; I went to one of the local high schools and was very impressed with my classmates. Also, some people do choose to send their children to schools outside of Far Rockaway, so there are really a lot of options (Brooklyn, Queens, and Long Island). I do think that some of the schools are stronger academically than others- I can PM you if you'd like.

I know tons of people in the community from all walks of life. Shor Yoshuv attracts a lot of BTs as well. Yeshiva of Far Rockaway and the Darchei kollel attract a lot of very yeshivish people.

If housing is out of reach but you like the sound of the community, you may want to consider living in Bayswater (the other side of Far Rockaway) which is more suburban and affordable, but also more mixed (so some people don't feel as safe there). The people are generally just as frum and down-to-earth as those in Far Rockaway, IME. Everyone there sends to the same schools as the Far Rockaway crowd, for the most part (with the exception being the chassidish community in Bayswater, I think).

amother

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 4:20 pm

I'm the amother who's been in FR for 6 years and the above amother is 100% correct about the housing situation. When DH and I were looking 6+ years ago, there were some very affordable houses in the outskirts of the frum areas of town. Dh and I weren't ready to do that but now, 6 years later, those houses are completely within the mainstream areas of FR and have probably close to doubled in price. It all depends on what you can afford and what you're willing to live with (at least for a while).

My sister lives in Bayswater and she is very happy there. It's only a couple of minutes away from the main area of FR (by car) and she says she feels safe. As a matter of fact, on shabbos, they often walk over to FR. I also get the impression that Bayswater is more similar to an out-of-town type community, probably because it's smaller and a little self-contained. They do all send to the same exact schools.

amother

Thu, Sep 16 2010, 5:14 pm

I grew up in far rockaway and live in the general area now.

In regards to middos in the schools, they do try to teach it but alot of that depends on the parents.
The schools are all made up of kids from FR, Bayswater and the 5Towns so they have to cater to all different types of kids (both a pro and con).

BBY is the most yeshivish of the girls schools... , but least tolerant of other "types" (particularly modern orthodox which is common in the 5T) IMO and no offense to any imamothers who send their daughters there I feel that the girls and that school tend to judge the other ppl in the neighborhood more (which is not nice middos) even though the school teaches and stresses the importance of good middos

I personally went to TAG and chose it for my girls. Its a very big school but they try to keep it personal and they have principals for every different division so that they can have more idividual connections to the kids (on the negative side your kids have to get to know new administration every few years) They have kids who come from kollel/rebbi homes, middle of the road homes, parents working, TV and movies, etc... all different types, but they try to discourage TV and internet use (bad me lol) and expect all mothers to cover their hair when coming to the school (altho some mothers dont respect so much and come with too short skirts or no socks etc (they dont confront the parents in front of the kids), but if you dont want your kids to see this kind of dress this is not the school for you)

There is also shulamit which is not really so yeshivish

for boys there is also Yeshiva Ketana, which is a newer school and much more exclusive (great academics and also mostly wealthy parent base... can be a bit snobby)

Darchei is HUGE but also very personal, definately would recommend for boys its the unofficial brother school to TAG and thats where I send to. also what was said above about middos and tolerance of other people etc is amazing they have a great program there.

Siach Yitzchok is similar to BBY in hashkafa almost chasiddish, it used to be a branch of shor yoshuv but not so much anymore.

South Shore is more modern but does have some yeshivish kids in it

with housing....
a nice single family house in a "good" location in FR with a backyard will cost you upwards of $800,000 in most cases (yes there are smaller or in bad condition etc for cheaper but not alot of those either)
bayswater houses are more affordable but it is not considered FR by anyone who doesnt live there you have to travel through a bad neighborhood to get there and then also you are living in a very mixed jew/nonjew area.
In FR you can find attatched or multi family homes for less money, also looking on the outskirts of a good neighborhood that will hopefully turn better soon is also an option.

houses in the five towns are all over the map moneywise

you may want to look into Inwood which is also up and coming although I believe its a youngish crowd. They are buying houses from non jews for 5-6K in select area's and hoping to expand, right now though there is no eruv and only one school (Yeshiva Ketana) where they daven.

Lawrence houses are similarly priced to Far Rockaway with no Multi or attatched as options

Cedarhurst is HUGE with all different types and neighborhoods but slightly more affordable with some houses between 4-7K depending on size, neighborhood and condition of the house

Woodmere is pretty far from far rockaway if that was your original goal (not really walkable... possible but far) and prices also vary alot there (similar to Cedarhurst)

IN general I like the FR/5Towns community but it definately has its problems like all other communities. wishing you much hatzlacha in your move and may hashem guide you to make the right choice that is best for your family.

Gsanmb

Sun, Sep 19 2010, 7:46 pm

When we lived locally, my girls were in TAG and my son in the preschool at Darchei. I have nothing but stellar things to say about both schools, particularly the emphasis on middot and personal attention. My older daughter came to the school after a few years in another local school where she was bullied; it ended up she was also behind academically (both chol' and kodesh) and they really went the extra mile to bring her up to speed. Despite the large size of both schools, the educators and principals know the children personally and they really care about them.

I have a good friend/colleague who recently moved to Inwood on a frum block that is growing and they have had a great experience...the prices are *much* better than FR or the rest of the 5Towns but it is a 'developing' area. She is relatively young, with 3 young children, and her husband is learning and in chinuch. Definitely yeshivish.

PM me if you would like to get in touch with her.