HOW DO I DEAL WITH THE SCHOOL??? Vent and advice needed.

mommalah

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 6:56 am

unexpected wrote:

I had a similar situation where my child was sent home with a letter that he can't where light pants. The rule had always been third grade and up but there was a change in Hanhala and abt 2 weeks into school we got a note that the 'no light pants rule' also included second grade. My initial response was that the new menahel should just wait until next yr and I'm not running out to buy all new pants. Especially, bec. I had spent all summer picking out matching outfits for all my boys and I had no intention of letting my oldest be the odd one out. But he was really miserable, my son. He said the other kids in the class would call him a baby, etc. and so I just gave up. Went out and bought him navy and dark brown and black pants and he was only 7 yrs old! It was so sad.
Today I'm glad I didn't make a stink abt it even though other parents in the class kind of expected me too - I have a reputation for that. I think the menahel would not have treated my son too kindly if he would have continued in light pants - even if it was his mother's fault!

And you would be ok with this? Scratching Head

mummiedearest

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 7:23 am

tovasara wrote:

I think you are right that the rules should not be change mid-year.

I second the poster who suggested getting a few parents to call.

And the reality is that the school will get away with it, and ultimately we are powerless.
But you have to wonder when they will start to consider their parent and student body and have respect for our time and money.

Yes, just call me a disgruntled yeshiva parent.

sorry, I resent this attitude. I don't know where you live, but in brooklyn, none of the parents are willing to call the principal for any complaint. they complain amongst themselves but say they'll "live with it, cause the yeshiva won't do anything." I had some issues with my son's yeshiva last year, and I bothered to call and complain. I asked other mothers if certain things bothered them. they said, "well, it's worse in other yeshivas, and I don't want to be a trouble-maker, so I won't complain about it."

for example, I complained that they didn't provide carseats for the kids on the bus when legally any child under 4 needs one on a school bus. this only came up re class trips, I used to walk my son to school. I spoke to the principal, and he was shocked! he had never heard such a complaint. he called three other boys yeshivas in the area and told me they had never had a complaint either. however, he did say that he felt I was probably right legally and that the kids should have car seats. the yeshiva couldn't provide them, but he made a nice arrangement with me for class trip days so I could send in my son's car seat and know I'd get it back same day.

I also complained to them about the insane nosh eating taking place in school. I spoke to the other principal who immediately told me that it was the parents who wanted it. however, I know that none of these parents are willing to call the principal, so I assume that the principal took their silence to mean happiness.

folks, you are paying tuition. these are your children, and you are responsible for their chinuch. and yes, buying a kid new shoes because they don't fit in with everyone else's, regardless of who's insisting that the shoes be like everyone else's, is sending the kid a number of clear messages. if you don't feel it's right, CALL THE SCHOOL. it is not only your right as a parent, it is part of your obligation to your children.

tovasara

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 8:11 am

mummiedearest wrote:

tovasara wrote:

I'm surprised you sound like you are arguing with me. If you knew me (and how could you), you'd know I spent the ENTIRE YEAR last year complaining about the exact issues you are talking about. when I called to asked who would make sure there were booster seats available for a class trip for those boys who need them, I was told by an administrator that its not his problem. (I sent one for my son and so did a few others, but the attitude that it's not the schools responsibility to ensure my sons's safety is mindboggling.)

I also called numerous times to complain about the nosh situation which was extreme and the school knows that problem exists for that Rebbe for years and won't do anything.

My experience is that people willing to give extra money to the school can get whatever they want, regardless of who it helps, hurts, whether it's moral or legal or ethical.

Those of us who merely pay (full or otherwise) tuition can just put up with whatever they want to dish out to us.

And I can't find a significant number of parents to call so it will make a difference.

And sorry, after paying full tuition (Baruch Hahsem for our children, Baruch Hashem for our jobs) there's not much extra I can give them to bribe them to do what's right for our children.

Don't respond about why I don't take my son out of the school. We've looked into it and can't right now.

And yes, I've probably just outed myself to anyone who knows me.

mummiedearest

Thu, Oct 28 2010, 8:23 am

tovasara wrote:

mummiedearest wrote:

tovasara wrote:

my apologies. I did not intend to start a personal argument. I just get upset when I hear people say we have no power to change things. we, as a group, do. I respect the fact that you contacted the school. I had no idea. I took my son out of that school for other reasons, and now he's in a day care type kindergarten which I'm very happy with. however, I'm stressing about getting him into pre 1a for next year. I just know they're going to stuff him full of junk food (which, in my opinion, is not raui l'achilas kelev, let alone my children) and I know they're going to hate me for giving them hell about it. which I definitely intend to do Smile

say, our sons go to the same school next year, perhaps we can form some sort of parents' committee to deal with these things? last year's school got upset at me for requesting a class list so I could poll the parents about their personal nosh policy preferences. they told me not to contact other parents about basic concerns! THE CHUTZPAH!

anyway, again, I'm sorry I offended you. my issue was with the attitude I perceived based on my own experiences. I hope you have an easier time from now on.