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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Chayalle
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 10:56 am
amother wrote: | I have this problem this week. I always take and pick up babysitters, sometimes driving 15 minutes or more to get my babysitter (we live oot). I am getting a local babysitter this week, 5 minute drive but not walkable, but DH and I are going 2 different places. I will be home at around 10:45pm, but DH wont be home before midnight. My kids are 4, 3, and 20 months, so it's not even like I have a 11 or 12 year old that I can leave for 5 minutes to stay with the sleeping kids, and no neighbours I can ask. The last time this happened, I was going to put the girl in a cab, and her mother did not want that, so she came to pick her up. But I feel bad to ask her to do that again, at 10:45pm and I know she works full time and is exhausted. Haven't come up with a solution yet - advice?? |
would she sleep over?
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amother
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 10:59 am
Chayalle wrote: | amother wrote: | I have this problem this week. I always take and pick up babysitters, sometimes driving 15 minutes or more to get my babysitter (we live oot). I am getting a local babysitter this week, 5 minute drive but not walkable, but DH and I are going 2 different places. I will be home at around 10:45pm, but DH wont be home before midnight. My kids are 4, 3, and 20 months, so it's not even like I have a 11 or 12 year old that I can leave for 5 minutes to stay with the sleeping kids, and no neighbours I can ask. The last time this happened, I was going to put the girl in a cab, and her mother did not want that, so she came to pick her up. But I feel bad to ask her to do that again, at 10:45pm and I know she works full time and is exhausted. Haven't come up with a solution yet - advice?? |
would she sleep over? |
No, and I wouldn't even ask. For a start, we're frum and she's a 16 year old secular teenager. And she has to get to school in the morning, but that doesn't help because DH leaves at 7am and I have 2 babies left at home. And she lives a 5 minute drive away, rather strange to ask her to sleep over. If I do, her mother will for sure offer to come pick her up. Need a way of getting her home without asking her mother to come pick her up, and not by cab
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amother
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 10:59 am
Chayalle wrote: | amother wrote: | I have this problem this week. I always take and pick up babysitters, sometimes driving 15 minutes or more to get my babysitter (we live oot). I am getting a local babysitter this week, 5 minute drive but not walkable, but DH and I are going 2 different places. I will be home at around 10:45pm, but DH wont be home before midnight. My kids are 4, 3, and 20 months, so it's not even like I have a 11 or 12 year old that I can leave for 5 minutes to stay with the sleeping kids, and no neighbours I can ask. The last time this happened, I was going to put the girl in a cab, and her mother did not want that, so she came to pick her up. But I feel bad to ask her to do that again, at 10:45pm and I know she works full time and is exhausted. Haven't come up with a solution yet - advice?? |
would she sleep over? |
No, and I wouldn't even ask. For a start, we're frum and she's a 16 year old secular teenager. And she has to get to school in the morning, but that doesn't help because DH leaves at 7am and I have 2 babies left at home. And she lives a 5 minute drive away, rather strange to ask her to sleep over. If I do, her mother will for sure offer to come pick her up. Need a way of getting her home without asking her mother to come pick her up, and not by cab
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clowny
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 11:24 am
DH always picks up and takes home the babysitter. If I know I will be home late I tell her to bring a friend and sleep over. Babysitter is either my sister, niece or sister in law.
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2busy
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 11:27 am
If they need the sitter then they need to pick her up - if you offer to drop her off bc ur gonna be near there anyway that is fine but usually I always transport my sitter
Sometimes there are other circumstances like if only 1 parent is there or mom on bedrest etc
if dh is not home I ask neighbor to come for 2 mins while I take sitter home hope this helps
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Fox
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 11:35 am
My three DDs babysit a lot -- each babysits at least twice a week, sometimes more.
I typically drive them to the employer's home unless it is seriously inconvenient, which it usually isn't. However, they are pretty firm that they need to be driven home at the end of the job.
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IloveHashem613
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 11:56 am
OP- it is totally not your responsibility to drive your dd to her babysitting jobs. Unless you want to go out of your way and do the family a favor, that's different, but it should not be expected at all. The family is hiring your daughter to do a service for them, so its their problem to figure out how to get her to their hourse, not yours. When I babysat as a teenager, the families always picked me up and dropped me off, they would never tell me I have to get my own transportation (unless it was some prearranged thing) but in general it is assumed that the family will have to find a way to the babysitter there and back.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 11:59 am
amother wrote: | Chayalle wrote: | amother wrote: | I have this problem this week. I always take and pick up babysitters, sometimes driving 15 minutes or more to get my babysitter (we live oot). I am getting a local babysitter this week, 5 minute drive but not walkable, but DH and I are going 2 different places. I will be home at around 10:45pm, but DH wont be home before midnight. My kids are 4, 3, and 20 months, so it's not even like I have a 11 or 12 year old that I can leave for 5 minutes to stay with the sleeping kids, and no neighbours I can ask. The last time this happened, I was going to put the girl in a cab, and her mother did not want that, so she came to pick her up. But I feel bad to ask her to do that again, at 10:45pm and I know she works full time and is exhausted. Haven't come up with a solution yet - advice?? |
would she sleep over? |
No, and I wouldn't even ask. For a start, we're frum and she's a 16 year old secular teenager. And she has to get to school in the morning, but that doesn't help because DH leaves at 7am and I have 2 babies left at home. And she lives a 5 minute drive away, rather strange to ask her to sleep over. If I do, her mother will for sure offer to come pick her up. Need a way of getting her home without asking her mother to come pick her up, and not by cab | Can someone follow you home and drive her?
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Simple1
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 12:39 pm
Thanks again for your opinions!
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Raisin
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 1:58 pm
amother wrote: | I have this problem this week. I always take and pick up babysitters, sometimes driving 15 minutes or more to get my babysitter (we live oot). I am getting a local babysitter this week, 5 minute drive but not walkable, but DH and I are going 2 different places. I will be home at around 10:45pm, but DH wont be home before midnight. My kids are 4, 3, and 20 months, so it's not even like I have a 11 or 12 year old that I can leave for 5 minutes to stay with the sleeping kids, and no neighbours I can ask. The last time this happened, I was going to put the girl in a cab, and her mother did not want that, so she came to pick her up. But I feel bad to ask her to do that again, at 10:45pm and I know she works full time and is exhausted. Haven't come up with a solution yet - advice?? |
do they have frum woman cabs in the neighbourhood?
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 3:31 pm
When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home.
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octopus
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 4:19 pm
I used to babysit a lot as a teen. It was usually pretty local, so I would just walk over, but then one of the parents would walk me home. But if it was not local, OF COURSE it's the responsiblity of the ppl hiring the babysitter! This is a teen first of all, and if you want to have a babysitter, you better pick her up and drop her off! It's a total chutzpah to ask the parents! It really is!
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Mommyme1
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 6:53 pm
I only babysat within walking distance unless it was by cousins and then my uncle would drive me (sometimes my mother would as a favor though).
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Raizle
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 7:13 pm
I don't think when teenagers start to babysit that it should fall on her parents to do the driving.
But I believe in flexibility. If someone really has trouble picking up their babysitter it would be nice for the girls parents if they are so inclined to do it.
I would suggest to the hiring couple however that if they can (IF they can) offer to pay a bit more in such situations
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Raizle
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 7:14 pm
Yocheved84 wrote: | When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home. |
thats different then teens babysitting
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 7:53 pm
Raizle wrote: | Yocheved84 wrote: | When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home. |
thats different then teens babysitting |
I was a teenager at the time , and worked for the company until recently. And when I babysat on the island or in Westchester, the father of the kids would drive me home. Awkward as anything, but it's not the teen's responsibility to find transportation home.
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Raizle
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 8:59 pm
Yocheved84 wrote: | Raizle wrote: | Yocheved84 wrote: | When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home. |
thats different then teens babysitting |
I was a teenager at the time , and worked for the company until recently. And when I babysat on the island or in Westchester, the father of the kids would drive me home. Awkward as anything, but it's not the teen's responsibility to find transportation home. |
ok so it's different then casual babysitting not through a company
Anyway I just realized I misunderstood your post and thought you were saying that she has to find her own way home.
but off topic, what do you call a teen? Where I live teens the age that are babysitting would not be hired by an official babysitting company. If you hire through such a company you would expect to have an adult.
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Yocheved84
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 9:04 pm
Raizle wrote: | Yocheved84 wrote: | Raizle wrote: | Yocheved84 wrote: | When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home. |
thats different then teens babysitting |
I was a teenager at the time , and worked for the company until recently. And when I babysat on the island or in Westchester, the father of the kids would drive me home. Awkward as anything, but it's not the teen's responsibility to find transportation home. |
ok so it's different then casual babysitting not through a company
Anyway I just realized I misunderstood your post and thought you were saying that she has to find her own way home.
but off topic, what do you call a teen? Where I live teens the age that are babysitting would not be hired by an official babysitting company. If you hire through such a company you would expect to have an adult. |
I got working papers at 14 and until the age of 16, you are only allowed to be a mother's helper (so adult is present in the house). At 16, I was allowed full babysitting responsibilities if the parent had signed off on it (I'm not a lawyer to know the legalities but I remember some parents saying no to my sitting through the service), but you had to have CPR certification and--if memory serves--a babysitting certificate from the Red Cross. I remember taking a couple classes in it.
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gs675
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Wed, Nov 24 2010, 10:37 pm
[quote="Raizle"] Yocheved84 wrote: | When I worked for a babysitting service who made the rules, they required that if the job ended after 10:30 PM or started before 6:30 AM, car fare must be provided. Of course, I frequently spent the taxi fare on other things and took the bus home. |
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LondonIma
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Thu, Nov 25 2010, 11:49 am
DH works evening and I frequently need a sitter and am unable to either pick up or drop off- I made sure to speak to my baby sitters mother first before asking the sitter if she could even baby sit. They live 5 min up the road and very much wanted her to have a "regular" sitting job as she comes from a very privileged home and want her to start taking more responsibility- They are happy to drive her and collect her. At the beginning I offered a bit extra for the inconvenience but they asked me to stop and I wasnt about to argue. I think as long as you're very clear about what you can and cant do regarding transportation its ok to use someone whose parents are happy to drive.
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