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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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Sat, Nov 13 2010, 10:19 pm
how do you decide which seminary to send your daughter to?
how does your daughter decide which seminary to go to?
what are the main factors?
this is not for my child.
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chatz
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Sat, Nov 13 2010, 10:39 pm
From a perspective of someone who is closer to "sem age" than "sending my kids to sem age".
I think most girls want to go where their friends are going. And generally, seminaries have a reputation - either for learning or "fun" or outreach, etc. So girls generally would choose a place they feel comfortable.
Parents need to check into: how much $ the sem charges and if they're ok with that, where the sem is located and if they're ok with that (ie, israel, australia, florida, local, etc.), how established the sem is, how on top of the girls the sem is (don't need to be a hawk and sems do have a responsibility to know where the girls are and where they will be for Shabbos). Speak to parents who sent their girls there in the recent years. Were they happy? Were the girls happy?
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Hashemlovesme
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Sun, Nov 14 2010, 3:49 am
I chose my sem by reputation (academic/hashgafa & halacha based, stereotypical girl that goes there...) then by speaking to girls that have gone there (everyone has their own perspective). I didn't know 1 person before getting there. I went to the place that I thought I'd gain the most from, type of girls, classes offered, atmosphere & SIZE (I didn't want to go to a place with over 100 girls)-even though that place was less well known (which ppl take into consideration in terms of shidduchim).
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Merrymom
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Sat, Nov 27 2010, 11:08 pm
Seminary will by far have the greatest impact on what kind of wife/mother someone will be so what the school emphasizes and what the sem girls are like are both very important.
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gold21
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Sat, Nov 27 2010, 11:17 pm
merrymom, I really disagree with your view that sem shapes a woman's path of marriage and parenthood. we are shaped mostly by our own homes, our closest friends, and our own inborn natures, not by one dinky year in sem!... I might have misunderstood your statement?... not sure if that is what you meant to say... but anyways, I went to a really blah sem which I disliked and I think im a good wife and mom B"H!... sem is so overrated...
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Merrymom
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Sat, Nov 27 2010, 11:36 pm
gold21 wrote: | merrymom, I really disagree with your view that sem shapes a woman's path of marriage and parenthood. we are shaped mostly by our own homes, our closest friends, and our own inborn natures, not by one dinky year in sem!... I might have misunderstood your statement?... not sure if that is what you meant to say... but anyways, I went to a really blah sem which I disliked and I think im a good wife and mom B"H!... sem is so overrated... |
Well maybe because I hated my hs, I finally found a sem with wonderful teachers, Rabbonim, and Rebbetzins. I found people whose opinion I could trust and people who didn't treat us like dumb children who should be kept in the dark for as long as possible. Of course my home had a tremendous influence over me but as far as schools go, this year meant the most to me.
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shabbatiscoming
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Sat, Nov 27 2010, 11:40 pm
gold21 wrote: | merrymom, I really disagree with your view that sem shapes a woman's path of marriage and parenthood. we are shaped mostly by our own homes, our closest friends, and our own inborn natures, not by one dinky year in sem!... I might have misunderstood your statement?... not sure if that is what you meant to say... but anyways, I went to a really blah sem which I disliked and I think im a good wife and mom B"H!... sem is so overrated... | I think that it depends on what type of sem you go to. I went to a sem that had no baring on mothering and marriage at all. it was all about learning and eretz yisrael and so those were the things that I got out of my sem year (gosh, it was a loong time ago ) but there are sems that talk a lot about what type of guy a girl should look for and what a wife should be in a marriage, then those girls obviously do learn about such things and it does impact their marriage life.
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