being ridiculed for sending a card- to send or not

amother

Wed, Dec 01 2010, 2:11 pm

I made a "Have a Freilichin Chanuka" picture card on snapfish and I want to send it to all the relatives. Its just me and dh- no kids yet. I am sending to our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles and married siblings.

dhs sister married a boy who used to be in dhs class. they were not really such great friends- didnt really fight or anything- but not much shaychis. They did have one mutual friend who they would both hang out with sometimes- and during that time this other boy (now my sil's husband) would tease my dh-and my dh didnt always feel that it was so "good natured"

now I want to send them a card. he thinks I should skip them cause he is sure that our bil will just make fun of it- not to us but say something stupid to dh's sister and she being a good wife will agree... (I can see him doing it as well- based on what I know of him- they have been married under a year) and just knowing that he will make fun of it makes my husband not want to send it.

I say we should send either way- we are sending to his other siblings (and if I had married sibs we would send to mine as well) but hes not to into the whole idea.

He asked his older sister what to do- well sort of. we didnt want to ruin the surprise so he said if I wanted to send someone a thank you card, but I knew they would make fun of it should I. and she said of course- but a thank you card is a mite different from a happy chanuka card.

so what think all imamothers?

louche

Wed, Dec 01 2010, 4:33 pm

When it comes to mishpacha, at each level of relatedness, it's got to be all or nothing. Either you send to all the sibs or you send to none, unless you want to start a broigez, thus:

amother writes:

I am so mad I could spit, and not pooh-pooh-pooh KA"H, either. My dh and my bro were in yeshiva together, not best buddies but they knew each other. For some reason, my sil (bro's wife) doesn't like my dh, and I guess by extension, me either. For Chanukah bro and sil sent Chanuka cards to the whole family EXCEPT FOR US! I am so insulted. I'm thinking of not sending them Shalach Monos this year. WWYD?

Sweet Valley Gal

Wed, Dec 01 2010, 4:38 pm

louche wrote:

Right on louche! I agree with you

Raizle

Wed, Dec 01 2010, 6:51 pm

I totally agree with Louche.

By making this assumption re his reaction you are setting a negative cycle for your future relationship with your sil and bil.

Even if he were to react this way I don't think you need to be afraid of someone else's potential immaturity, but if your husband is that concerned then you need to respect his wishes. In which case I wouldn't send to anyone.