Naming after someone not frum - HELP

amother

Thu, Dec 23 2010, 7:21 pm

there is nice name on my family side - most family was not frum - but this lady we were close to and was a nice lady - was not frum - not sure if married jewish acc to halacha and stuff like that - The name is nice but was wondering what you heard on this issue - of course will ask my rav but was wondering if ppl heard about not naming after someone not religious - also not even 100% sure of exact jewish name _ we just remember what we think she said her name was - this is not a parent a grandparents cousin in fact
Thanks

amother

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 12:18 am

We were told to have kavana on also the relative, also another person with the name. In our case the name is Rivka, so dh thought Rivka Emanu also.

Anon b/c I don't want to hurt my non frum family if they see this, and this board is visible to non members.

detroitmom

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 1:31 am

Please pardon my ignorance but I have never heard of any restrictions regarding naming after non-observant relatives. What's the source for that, if I may ask?

My mom is a BT and we are the only frum members of my entire family (other than my DH and kids). If there is a halachic basis then I don't have that many options when it comes to naming my children!

There is an excellent book called Your Name is Your Blessing. I bought it because it gives you the deeper meaning/gematria of names. It's also scarily accurate. I have read people the meaning of their names according to that book and they've been really astonished at how true their descriptions were.

What I did with an English name was to write it out in Hebrew. Then take the gematria of that. Look up the number in the back of the book and it gives you a few options for numerical equivalents. My grandfather's name was Isadore which ended up being = to Boruch.

BeershevaBubby

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 1:42 am

detroitmom wrote:

Naming practices are about Minhag or Messorah, NOT Halacha.

We're Ashkenazi and my older son is named for the still-living, and not frum paternal grandfather of my husband. We spoke to our Rav beforehand.

Our second son is named for my husband's maternal grandfather who passed away when I was pregnant. He was also not frum. (My husband is the only religious person in his entire family).

We believe that naming our Torah-observant children after people who were not frum in life, elevates the Neshamah.

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 5:06 am

Ditto Yesha.

Ask YOUR rav, OP.

Mine holds you don't need to add anything, and you can certainly name after several people, and if anything, someone non frum benefits even more from renaming.

grin

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 6:36 am

you call her "not frum and yet a nice person" - this makes me think that she didn't keep mitzvos bein adam lemakom, probably out of ignorance, but seemingly kept bein adam lechaveiro unfailingly.

We so often forget that there were 2 parts to the luchos. According to sefer hatanya, the bein adam lechaveiro is the more important of the two.

Depressed

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 9:55 am

Pesach Krohn said in a shiur you name after a tzadik who has the same name and have the tzadik/tzadekes in mind.. Ie... my grandfather was shmuel, have a godol whose name was also Shmuel in mind...

observer

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 12:04 pm

different people hold differently with regard to this. you need to ask your rov or follow your minhag.

grin wrote:

there are also non jews who are very nice. if someone says she wasnt frum theyre not saying she was a bad person. one has nothing to do with the other. as nice as she was, it doesn't make her frum.

PinkFridge

Fri, Dec 24 2010, 1:46 pm

observer wrote:

different people hold differently with regard to this. you need to ask your rov or follow your minhag.

grin wrote:

there are also non jews who are very nice. if someone says she wasnt frum theyre not saying she was a bad person. one has nothing to do with the other. as nice as she was, it doesn't make her frum.

I don't remember who said this, but it's a beautiful thought.
In Shemoneh Esrei we say, Elokai Avraham...Yitzcahk...Yaakov. Through the years of galus we may have lost the emes of Yaakov and the din of Yitzchak, but we still have the chesed of Avraham (Magen Avraham). So there is every reason to believe that the good a non-observant person does comes from the best part of him or her, and a very Jewish source.

Not dissing non jews, just saying.

manhattanmom

Sat, Dec 25 2010, 9:47 pm

I'm going to say what I've said a number of times on this forum already--

I don't really understand your question. Being non-shomer torah umitzvos does not equate with being a rashah. I, as well as my siblings, are named for non-frum relatives. We have Hebrew names and were named for very good people who had many good middos.
You can consider it doing a perfect gilgul/cycle, etc. whatever you want to call it--in the sense that your child who are raising to be an ehrlicher frum yid to provide the true kind of nachas for her namesake. How wonderful! And if the person was a good person with strong values and good character, those are the most important things you can ask for.
That's how I feel. I would not hesitate for a second to name one of my children after my grandparents who I love with all of my heart--but are/were not fully shomer torah umitzvos.

observer

Sat, Dec 25 2010, 10:00 pm

manhattanmom wrote:

Yet there are rabbonim who hold that you should not name the same name. They aren't saying that they were bad people, they arent saying they were reshoim, but there are many that dont do that. Just because you would doesnt mean everyone should.