Which school would you send your kid to?

amother

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 4:52 pm

There are no other schools, just these two. Ds is globally delayed and will be in K next year. He receives hrs of therapy a week, in the form of OT, PT, speech and social skills group therapy. Cognitively we have concerns. He doesn't pick up things quickly (in terms of letters, counting etc). He currently knows no brachos or basic prayers. But with parsha he is a sponge - it's beautiful to hear him discuss the parsha...it's one of his few strong areas. Money is not part of the discussion at this point.

School 1: mixed day school - out of town, all types of frum jews. To stay here he would need lot of extra help. Socially he doesn't blend in well. But he is actually very happy there. I do not yet know if he could academically keep up here. If he can't then it won't be an option at all I suppose. We would have to pay private therapists to see him at the school during school hrs b/c the free after school therapy at the public school would be too long of a day for him.

School 2: special ed classroom setting in a local public school. They're had a few frum jews over the years but generally the city knows very little about Orthodox Jews. I cannot supplement "the jewish stuff" with my limited background so we'd need a second teacher/tutor. He would get all his therapies in the day without it being so disruptive. The teachers would know how to cater to a kid with different needs. Socially it may not be so much better. They could teach him the secular stuff much better than the jewish school b/c they know about diff. learning styles and diff. teaching methods.

Neither option is great. I'm such a wreck over all of this...please give me some advice!

amother

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 5:19 pm

He's in pre-k there and doing ok. My fear is that he'll fall behind right away and then we'll be stuck b/c maybe there won't be a spot for him at the other school in the middle of the year (I have to find out more about this). And if there was a spot, it would maybe be a rough transition. But I worry that if I do keep him at the current school and he needs tons of extra help, that will just make him feel more different.

There are no easy solutions for these things I guess...

Barbara

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 8:53 pm

I would send to the public school, but I would talk to the day school about re-admitting him at the appropriate time.

Its only kindergarten. He's not going to fall irrevocably behind even if you don't do limudei kodesh at all. The skills and interventions that he receives at public school will transfer, and will help him in the future when he is doing linudei kodesh. I just think that the more early intervention there is, the better the likely progress, and the less that will be needed in the future.

Whatever your decision, though, best of luck to you.

amother

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 9:09 pm

Barbara wrote:

I totally agree. I have a child in an EI center, and its great for him. he doesnt get any jewish education except what I teach him (which, sadly, is not a lot) obviously, his issues are not exactly the same as your sons, but for him, (note I didnt say for US) the best place for him right now is in a center. he has special ed teachers, he gets all his therapy and hes young enough that he doesnt feel DIFFERENT. he is in an integrated class, which is 7 regular (for lack of a better word coming into my head right now) kids, and 6 special ed kids.
for me it was a very easy decision, because they are specially trained, the classes are smaller, and there are more assistants, which when put all together means that he has a better chance at succeeding.
for my husband though, it was a very hard decision, because it meant that it would be a full school year of him not getting a full jewish education. f
rom my husbands perspective, after this year, he will have spent enough time out of yeshiva, and next year thats where he will go. for me, I still need to do whats best for him, and if that means another year at the center, then thats what we will do. I know my son is going to have a hard time in school because of his issues, and the lonnger he takes acquiring the skills needed to function appropriately and to succeed, the better off everyone is.
by the way, the yeshiva already told me that they will call me at registration time every year to see if we are ready to switch him yet.

cip

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 9:22 pm

I would do the first.
at such a young age it would be my priority to instill a love for yiddishkiet, middos, yiras shomayim ...at this age you lay the foundation for life. and it seems like he can only get that at the first school.
as for his developmental delays, you would be dealing with those privately in the first school so your not ignoring the issues.
in other words, in the first school you will get yiddishkiet plus therapies. in public school you get just the therapies.
best of luck and much nachas.

bashinda

Tue, Jan 25 2011, 10:18 pm

Wow, what a decision you need to make and it really isn't so poshet. Honestly, if your child didn't have delays I'd say go for school #1. No question. But honestly, one of my kids has PDD and had a lot of delays. I'm in Brooklyn so I have more options and don't need to choose a public school option but he was at first in an inclusion program and he didn't progress at all. He really needed the therapies. When he switched to the center based program he started making small but noticeable progressions which has helped him enormously.

So although I wish no Jewish child would be in a public school setting, who knows maybe he needs to be there for the time being. Is there an option of trying the first school out with a possibility of moving to the second school as a back up plan?

if you do decide to go with school #1 I advise you to be really on top of the therapists and try and see if your therapists can interact with each other at least minimally. I know that when my son's first school was coming to their conclusions what really helped was that his special ed teacher and the therapists had a meeting and they all discussed his progress and then the education director contacted me after.

B'hatzlacha.

RachelEve14

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 2:13 am

Legally, the PS has to take him whenever you decide. You will have to go through testing (if he hasnt' had it in the last 3 years), an IEP meeting, etc., but they can't say "no, full, have a great year."

I would talk to the staff of the dayschool, and also talk to and meet the kindergarten teacher he would have. See what they think about how he will do, and if they think it will be successful I would have him stay where he is for now. YOu can always re-evaluate later.