Don't like Ami's story "Diamond Ring"

bashinda

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 10:31 am

I've been hearing this argument about Ami being more realistic than Bina or Mishpacha and I just don't find it to be true. I find Bina often has articles that are very realistic (for instance their recent 2-part article about women in the workplace was excellent and did not sugar-coat anything).

The problem I have with Ami is the overall depressing tone. You can be realistic and not sugar-coat and still have an upbeat attitude in the articles. If it's possible to be upbeat even after having a crazy and difficult life, certainly it's possible for a magazine to be realistic and upbeat. Otherwise, I personally do not get chizuk from such a magazine, and why am I reading it if it the end goal isn't to make me be a better person?

The two problems I had with this article was:

1. The uncle getting involved when it wasn't his business. Unfortunately, the way it came across, he seemed more concerned about the sale he wanted to make than the sholom bayis of his niece and her husband.

2. The kallah KNEW her chossen was out of work. She went into the engagement knowing he couldn't give her the traditional gifts.

3. There's no communication. When they were chossen and kallah he should have said something like, "I value you and I'm so happy you want to start a new life together. As you know, I don't have a job at the moment and I don't have assets. I lived simply and rented. It would be a real hardship to buy you a diamond ring. Can I get you a cz one instead?" If she was happy to get married to him knowing he was out of work, shouldn't she have been happy with the cz ring? And even after they get married he still can't talk to her. That's a lot more troublesome than the ring and yet, that doesn't seem to be Ami's message in giving over this story.

This is one of the reasons an argument that is way too simplistic for reality (Ami just too realistic for readers' comfort zones) doesn't ring true to me.

Grandmama

Mon, Feb 14 2011, 10:35 am

bashinda wrote:

Well said. Thumbs Up

gp2.0

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:39 am

I finally read this story. I must say, what bothered me most of all is that in their quest for sensationalism above all, ami has forgotten that when telling a story, you need to tell it WELL. This story was so boring. It didn't make me feel for any of the characters. I was just starting to feel sorry for the husband who was losing his wife when they cut the narrative short a paragraph or two early so they could move on quickly to get him married again.

Another thing - even if the wife was upset at the end, I doubt this little glitch ended their marriage. Ending the story the way they did screams of no talent and no taste. And I'd be willing to bet that this story is either entirely made up or highly exaggerated as well. Ami, I'm disappointed in you. I know several teenagers who could have taken that same story and written it a lot better.