just learned my lesson in loshon hara

amother

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 9:42 pm

this is so embarrasing. At my work there is a new woman who took over a managment position and now she directly oversees me. She has not worked in this department before and she is making work unbarable for those of us working under her. It used to be a fun, low stress job. Now everyone complains about her.

anyway, I have a good friend who works at the same place but is in a different department than me. I forwarded her an email that this new manager sent me, and at the top I wrote "OH dear G-d" followed by the forwarded email.
It had something to do with new policies that she was putting in place.

anyway, I sent the email to my friends work account, and a couple hours later I got an email back, from another woman who works where I work, saying that my friend was on bed rest (which I knew) and that all of her work emails where being forwarded to this other woman (which I didn't know).
she didnt say anything else about it, but that I should contact my friend on her personal email if I want to talk to her.

anyway, the woman who it got sent to does not work in my department, but she is higher up on the chain than I am. I know she has gotten complaints about this new manager, so I dont think she would say anythigng that would get me fired, but im totally embarrased.

Its a Jewish orginization, but not everyone working there is Jewish, and Im one of the only frum ones. Im not sure if the new girl is Jewish. Her name is totally neutral sounding... still I guess I have to apologize to her because of loshon hara?

Im so embarrased about this. what would you do?

Sweet Valley Gal

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 10:00 pm

Never ever ever send those kind of emails at work.

EVER

I learnt trust me. A friend of mine was complaining to me over the phone about her manager. We were talking about it and then hung up. abt 5 hours later, my friend calls me in a panic. She told me that she sent me an email about how mean this manager is and how much she hates her.... She sent it to the manger instead of to me.

Sweet Valley Gal

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 10:01 pm

To add, I wouldnt even send a complaint about a co worker to my manager in an email. I work with this guy, older Italian man, sweet but a little spacey. I have lots of complains about him, but I would never send my boss an email in case he happens to be walking past his desk at the moment or anything else. I wouldnt take the chance.

amother

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 10:06 pm

I didnt send it from work. I sent it from home, and like I said, I was sending it to my friend and sent it to her wrong address. they both contain her name, but one is gmail and one ends with our work name. anyway I work for a community center. My friend works in membership and I work more in the fitness department so the person it was intended for has really nothing to do with my specific job..

but still... obviously a mistake and one that I feel badly enough about not to do it again.

IamAJewishWoman

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 10:33 pm

Sweet Valley Gal wrote:

You are so right! you never know who might walk past managers computer.. I have been so careful with these kinda things!

Sweet Valley Gal

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 10:43 pm

amother wrote:

hehe I did something similar to that too. We have a client who is a tough guy to deal with. (to me at least). Not friendly and very demanding. In any case, his email address starts "gar" and a friend of mine starts "gar" as well.

So I was forwarding some jokes and I did "gar" enter and sent and I accidentally sent to him!!! Not fun for me lol

Kayza

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 11:46 pm

amother wrote:

t

Its a Jewish orginization, but not everyone working there is Jewish, and Im one of the only frum ones. Im not sure if the new girl is Jewish. Her name is totally neutral sounding... still I guess I have to apologize to her because of loshon hara?

Im so embarrased about this. what would you do?

If you mean the person you wrote about, I think you had better not say anything - LH is a problem of course, but saying something that will cause even more antagonism is a bad idea. Of course, double checking with a Rov on this would make sense.

If you mean the woman who received the email. a short apology "That was really not appropriate, and I'm sorry I sent it" would probably be a good idea.

causemommysaid

Mon, Apr 04 2011, 11:54 pm

do NOT tell the woman that you spoke about her. it will only cause her to hate you more. I think in situations like that you are not required to apologize according to halacha.ask a rabbi if your not sure.

as far as the woman you sent it to by mistake- I think you should apologize to her. it will make her respect you a bit more if you can own up to your mistake.

iluvy

Tue, Apr 05 2011, 10:20 pm

Almost every week, my mother shows me an email that someone forwarded to her, at the bottom of which someone else has written, "Please do not forward." She has endless stories about department feuds, catfights and vendettas that have been sparked by an email that should not have been made public - and inevitably was. I never put ANYTHING in an email. No jokes, no sarcasm, no personal stories, nothing that could be taken out of context, nothing that I would be embarrassed by if it went out to my entire contact list or went viral somehow and ended up on CNN. Sound paranoid? Wait until something like this happens to you. Email is NOT a private method of communication.