I need 10,000 now!!

amother

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 8:14 pm

I don't feel like explaining this again, so I am posting an email that I wrote to my Rav. I left out some details, like the fact that the university just denied my appeal for a tuition refund. (based on medical need) and that we are not financially well off at all... etc etc.

I wanted to ask the Rav's advice on a financial matter that I am currently dealing with. About a year ago, my parents offered to pay tuition, if I enrolled in two university courses to further my college degree. I was recently married and they knew that I couldn't afford the classes, therefor they offered to pay. I took them up on the offer. Now, two years later, they called to tell me that I received a bill at their house for the tuition. This was something that I thought they had long since taken care of. They made it sound as if they have never agreed to pay for anything, and that I owed this very large bill to the university.

In fact, they had been receiving bills for months already, and had been racking up late fees. Since the bills and the university classes are in my name, there is no use in arguing with them over who said they would pay. The point is, that now I am stuck with a close to $10,000 bill and over $3000 of that is just in late fees. I was also turned over to a collection agency who is going after me for the money, and will probably ruin my credit rating and our hopes of having money to put a down payment on a home.

To worsen the matter, the only money we would have to pay off the debt, is from my husbands grandfather, who gave us a present to use for our future, most likely for a house, or for our childrens tuition. I feel that I have no right to use this money on bill that I feel I should never have received in the first place.

Does the Rav have any advice on how I can handle this situation. It is becoming overwhelmingly stressful for our family and I have no idea how to handle it.

thank you,

groisamomma

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 8:43 pm

Ouch! I can't give you any ideas, but I can empathize. When we fixed over our house my mother offered to pay for a hardwood floor instead of the usual carpeting and I went ahead and did it. I laid it out and it went straight onto my credit card. When I told her about the bill she nonchalantly brushed me off, saying that she's sure she paid it. Both of us know she didn't and I would NEVER have gone ahead with this floor, noway can we afford it. 5 yrs. later, still paying it off slowly:(((

Lesson: As tempting as her offers are from then on, I never, ever lay out money ahead of time. I buy/do things the way I would with my own money unless and until I have what she promised in my hand. Otherwise, I end up with better quality and more heartache than I bargained for.

amother

Wed, Mar 16 2011, 9:58 pm

hum...I'd use the grandfather money if u r investing in a career, so in the future the money will get back to u so u could afford tuition/ mortgage etc...
when I got engaged my father told the mechatan he would pay half of the expenses of the wedding , when the time to pay came, he only paid for the wedding hall, he said he have never said he would pay anythingelse and that he was doing me a favor.... I had to work extra hours plus 3 overnights to be able to afford it, and give the money to my father to give to the mechatan.... parents could act very funny sometimes....

GreenEyes26

Sat, Apr 09 2011, 8:48 pm

OP, the money your husbands grandfather left him is now BOTH of yours money. It belongs to the family. While it might have been intended for a house or children's tuition, this is what you need it for now. It would be foolish of you to borrow from other people when you have money ready and waiting for you. Pay off your debt ASAP, before the creditors ruin your credit rating, and move on with your life. (Easier said than done, I know. What your parents did was awful. But there is nothing you can do to change it now.)

rydys

Sun, Apr 10 2011, 8:34 am

First thing, CALL THE COLLECTION AGENCY! Explain to them what happened and let them know that you just became aware of this bill. Tell them you are not trying to get out of paying money owed, but you cannot pay it back in one big chunk. They deal with this all the time and will usually work out a payment plan for you.

Once you do that, call the school and explain the situation to them. Tell them the same thing, adn see if thely will reduce the late fees.

You mentioned a tuition refund, did you actually take the classes?