NY wedding gift amounts - need guidance

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skcomputer

Tue, May 10 2011, 6:45 am

I'm from OOT and going to a wedding in NY. The family is wealthy, Long Island, Young Israel. They have been generous to our children at bar/bat mitzvah time (~$250) and now it is wedding time for their eldest. The cost isn't a problem - I just want to get in the right ballpark. I want to give a check, not a gift. I looked at some older threads on this topic, but they didn't seem to address this situation.

brooklyn

Tue, May 10 2011, 7:13 am

I would reciprocate what they gave to you (250) asuming its just you and DH going.

maze

Tue, May 10 2011, 8:49 am

I would give (250 or preferably) more. If for example your kids had bar mitzvahs 10 years ago, $250 then is different than $250 now. Also for a wedding, usually give more than for a bar mitzvah.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, May 10 2011, 10:40 am

Give what you want. You do not have to give 250 just cuz they did. I got married in NY. I would say most wedding gifts were between $100-200. But some wealthy people and close friends gave $250-400

Last edited by amother on Wed, Nov 15 2017, 8:48 pm; edited 1 time in total

saw50st8

Tue, May 10 2011, 10:43 am

I think $180 is a really good amount.

You may want to find out if they are registered and get a really nice present from there. If you are lucky, you can get something on sale that's valued higher in your price range.

Lani22

Tue, May 10 2011, 10:46 am

I think that if it is just u and dh going to the wedding $250-$360 is a very very nice gift.

skcomputer

Tue, May 10 2011, 1:51 pm

thank you for your replies. It is me, my DH and my college age daughter who will be attending if that helps with the guidance.

Happy18

Tue, May 10 2011, 2:02 pm

I believe $300 is standard, it was the last time I checked. However, thats only for two people. If there's a third person you probably want to give at least that.

MeadowsLane

Wed, May 11 2011, 6:46 am

We go to lots of weddings on LI and my DH and I usually give 300-350, If I took one of my kids along then I would give $450-500. It may seem like a lot compared to other communities, but weddings are really expensive out here...

amother

Wed, May 11 2011, 10:31 am

Regardless of where the wedding is being held, I do just the reverse. I give more the less well-off the families are. To a couple of rich kids, my check won't make a big difference compared to what they're getting from their well-to-do friends and relatives. I didn't ask them to make a lavish affair and I don't feel that I have to pay my way for the meal. To a couple of penniless kids, otoh, my generous check is not only possibly the single biggest gift they get from any one source other than parents and grandparents, but it is also very much appreciated. One friend of mine told me her ds cried when he opened my check, then asked her to call me and find out if I had made a mistake or really intended to give that much.

Mommy3.5

Thu, May 12 2011, 6:32 pm

Happy18 wrote:

I believe $300 is standard, it was the last time I checked. However, thats only for two people. If there's a third person you probably want to give at least that.

not at any wedding I’ve been too...

Happy18

Thu, May 12 2011, 6:35 pm

It sounded like OP was describing a five towns wedding. In those cases $300 is standard.

skcomputer

Fri, May 13 2011, 6:39 am

From the OP: Thank you - this has been very, very helpful!!!!!

amother

Mon, May 16 2011, 8:13 am

Happy18 wrote:

It sounded like OP was describing a five towns wedding. In those cases $300 is standard.

Sorry to hijack the thread but what is a "five towns wedding" ? (I'm not American but am curious!)

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