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Should I pay a shiva call or send a card



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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2011, 1:03 pm
I work in a school )among non-Jewish and non-frum teachers) and the guidance counselor here, a non-frum man married to a traditional sephardi woman, lost his mother. I heard from others that he's "sitting" (as the non-Jewish teachers said). Is it appropriate for me to pay a shiva call- he's a man, firstly, and secondly he sometimes takes the time to ask me how I'm getting on in this new school, so I feel a certain courteousness is called for, but I don't want to overstep certain boundaries in either direction.

Maybe I should put a condolence card on his desk for when he comes back?

Any thoughts are appreciated.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2011, 1:06 pm
What are other people in your workplace doing? If others are going to pay a call, you can too. Otherwise, a card would seem to be appropriate.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2011, 1:18 pm
Chayalle wrote:
What are other people in your workplace doing? If others are going to pay a call, you can too. Otherwise, a card would seem to be appropriate.


They aren't Jewish and the two that are Jewish are anti-orthodox so asking around won't help me. But thanks Smile .
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2011, 1:35 pm
First find out how long he's sitting: nonobservant people may sit for only a day or two. Then call his house and speak to his wife. Ask her opinion. She should be able to tell you if he'd welcome a visit or if he'd feel invaded. If he would welcome a visit, by all means go. b/c you're frum and he knows frum people do this, it would be a Kiddush Hashem. If you're concerned about his "taking it the wrong way," drag along with you either your dh or better yet some of your colleagues.

It would be equally correct to send him a condolence card.
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groisamomma




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jun 10 2011, 2:09 pm
zaq wrote:
First find out how long he's sitting: nonobservant people may sit for only a day or two. Then call his house and speak to his wife. Ask her opinion. She should be able to tell you if he'd welcome a visit or if he'd feel invaded. If he would welcome a visit, by all means go. b/c you're frum and he knows frum people do this, it would be a Kiddush Hashem. If you're concerned about his "taking it the wrong way," drag along with you either your dh or better yet some of your colleagues.

It would be equally correct to send him a condolence card.


I think I'll go for the card. Personal, but not too personal. Thanks. I'll leave it on his desk for when he comes back.
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