Do I have to do something for my sons Upsherin?

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 9:47 am

penguin wrote:

Whether upsherin is your minhag or not there is a tradition which, I think, cuts across all spectra, to wrap the child in a tallis & bring him to cheder. Your DH could ask your Rov if it should be done?

Not at all - AFAIK this is a chassidishe minhag. My family has chassidish roots and does this, but DH never heard of it before.

DH's family doesn't do big upsherin parties. Only one SIL (who likes to make big parties, and does it because her family has that minhag) made upsherins. The rest maybe did something small at home, like a birthday cake at supper.

I don't have boys yet - so it's never been an issue here Smile

.

Edited to add - many people who have the minhag to cut hair at 3, don't make big parties along with it. One has nothing to do with the other (as some posts implied).

shalhevet

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 9:53 am

penguin wrote:

Our rov says it's irrelevant today. Once children were at home all the time and this was the first time they went out somewhere, so they were wrapped in a tallis so they wouldn't see anything tamei. Also they were taken to cheder and began to learn there everyday.

I don't know about other places, but here people take their sons on their third birthday to cheder, then send them back to playgroup/ gan until next Elul (at least) - just confusing for the child.

flowerpower

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 9:58 am

I think its a nice occasion-more then just a birthday party or a girl turning three. If you have patience you can just serve cake and drinks and invite the grandparents-if there are any around town....and let them celebrate.

Raisin

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 10:16 am

No. I know people who make huge bashes and people who just invite the family.

3 year olds would probably be happier with a small thing.

chocolate moose

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 11:16 am

Does he go to playgroup? Are you having a family party?

I vote for Having Something, I just think you and your dh should be on board with what you decide.

I don't know what your son's hair loooks like, but I would not have waited until my ds was 3 years old to cut it if I didn't "have" to, that's for sure!

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 6:32 pm

Ask your usual Rav.

I like Chaya F's method.

Next stop, Bar Mitzvah, so have a little private fun, at a modest small scale that will genuinely please you. It's educational for the boy, and a bit of milestone for you, Mommy. So enjoy life.

Raisin

Tue, Aug 16 2011, 7:11 pm

shalhevet wrote:

penguin wrote:

some people do this at 5 when the kid is more mature. We did it it the day our sons started school. (they were about 4 1/2.)