Vent about grandparent gifts for grandkids

groisamomma

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 10:25 am

princessleah wrote:

I make a wishlist on amazon.com and direct people there when they ask what they can buy. That way I can assert SOME control over what happens.
I'm not sure how old your kids are, but when a lot of presents come in at once, maybe have them "ma'aser" the gifts and pick 1/10 of them that they will donate to other needy kids.

That's such a great idea! I know my kids would feel great donating one of their toys to Chai Lifeline and it's not as if they're losing out--you said they get presents every day of Chanuka anyway.

33055

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 11:16 am

Just say thank you. My mother bought my daughter over a hundred barbies. I don't allow barbies. She bought every cares bear, every Thomas train tracks ( and they are not interchangable), every hoth wheels, etc. She also bought dozens if outfits from Target. I dress my kids a bit differently. When I moved, I had two completed rooms with stacks of unopened presents piled on tip of other presents. We had repeats of stuff the kids liked. I could walk into K-mart and other stores and EVERY age appropriate toy would already be bought. She loved the kids. That is all. The kids were very affectionate without any gifts. Believe me, the gifts were not welcome; but the love behind it was. My mother NEVER bought us, things growing up.

willow

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 11:42 am

princessleah wrote:

I did something similar to that once and I got such flak for "asking for gifts".
It drives me crazy as a low in come family, why wouldn't you want to get us stuff we would need and appreciate?

princessleah

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 11:45 am

willow wrote:

princessleah wrote:

I did something similar to that once and I got such flak for "asking for gifts".
It drives me crazy as a low in come family, why wouldn't you want to get us stuff we would need and appreciate?

I don't just randomly direct people to it, but if somebody ever asks me, what should I get your DS? I direct them to it. Honestly, why wouldn't a person ask? Simply to make sure they're not getting something you already have?

willow

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 12:28 pm

It was after getting presents that were either complete **** from ppl that were millionaires or getting 600$ earrings from someone while we could barely afford groceries. I just wanted some balance and for the presents to be useful.
Don't worry on all occasions I am very gracious and make the giver feel like a million bucks. Its frustrating though because these are good people and they want us to be happy.

imaima

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 1:16 pm

emesornt wrote:

I've learned to be very clear to my in laws and parents about what they give my kids. For example, I've returned a playmobile toy to my in laws because it has tiny pieces and is not meant for kids under age 10. Just explain how inappropriate the gifts are and let them know that you won't be using the gifts. Suggest the gifts you would rather receive.

Oh they really write it in big fat letters on the package, and some people still don't notice!!!! I wonder why you returned it instead of putting away till the kids get older?

imaima

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 1:30 pm

Tova wrote:

My in-laws are usually spot on and give the kids great gifts and I really appreciate their generosity (especially when she stocks them up on underwear and PJ's and other necessities) BUT - yes. Along with it comes CRAYOLA COLORED BUBBLES. Yes, it says washable on the package. No, it does not come off easily and our porch outside is still stained orange and green when you look closely. What I learned from the experience is that just becomes Bubby gives something does not mean we have to open/use it.

have you tried nail polish remover??

amother

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 1:57 pm

imaima wrote:

emesornt wrote:

Oh they really write it in big fat letters on the package, and some people still don't notice!!!! I wonder why you returned it instead of putting away till the kids get older?

What Playmobil set is not recommended for kids under the age of 10? Most kids age out of Playmobil by then. And as to choking hazards, if kids are still placing toys in their mouths at age 9, I think that's a whole different issue that needs to be addressed.

"Permanent" markers (eg Crayola) come out of fabrics using rubbing alcohol. HTH.

imaima

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 2:30 pm

amother wrote:

imaima wrote:

emesornt wrote:

Oh they really write it in big fat letters on the package, and some people still don't notice!!!! I wonder why you returned it instead of putting away till the kids get older?

You are right, the majority are 4+

SomebodyElse

Thu, Dec 01 2011, 8:54 pm

amother wrote:

imaima wrote:

emesornt wrote:

Oh they really write it in big fat letters on the package, and some people still don't notice!!!! I wonder why you returned it instead of putting away till the kids get older?

Maybe she was writing in binary? LOL

amother

Fri, Dec 02 2011, 8:14 am

We grandmas/savtas/bubbies should be put against a wall and shot! how DARE we buy our grandchildren toys! How DARE we show our love! You are right to be ungrateful and complaining, We are wrong, Thanks for the reminder I'll stop getting my beloved eineklach anything henceforth and going forward.

I am a bad grandma. I appreciate the timely reminder before chanukah so I won't spend hundreds of dollars and hours of precious time with grampy picking out gifts we think are perfect for each child. tell you what, how about you MOTHERS buying gifts for US? That would be a novelty.

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 02 2011, 8:22 am

Inappropriate gifts from anyone "disappear" in this house. Magic! Wink

If the gift is only inappropriate in your house, indeed keep them for the person's house as a "treat" LOL

If there is a repeated offender who is likely to change, I would bring up the issue.