Exercise and acceptance

bluebird

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 1:01 am

Some things I have learned about myself recently. Please note that these are about me, and may or may not be true for you. How about you all? What kinds of realizations have you had and what ideas have you had to throw out.

I need to be motivated to exercise and I'll learn to enjoy it

Maybe some day, but not in the forseeable future. I realized that I do not need to be motivated, excited, or happy to exercise. I don't have to enjoy it while I do it. It's totally fine to dread it and hate doing it. I just have to do it. I don't have to like it.

I need to give it my all and feel the burn

Partially true. I need to do it. If I need to modify some exercises or step down in weight, it's fine. Doing most of it is better than none of it and I will progress.

I need to challenge myself

This one is totally true, even if it seems at odds with the preceding statement. I can challenge myself to go further every now and again. If I can do it, awesome! If not, well, maybe I challenged myself a bit much. I can see where I'm going, step it up a little, and know what I'll need to get to the next step. As long as it's gradual this satisfies me more than doing a routine usually does.

I need to enjoy eating

Somewhat false. I have not enjoyed eating so much as enjoyed shoving fatty, salty, sweet, mushy foods into my mouth for years. They're comforting if not actually delicious. I don't really enjoy the way I eat. I don't really enjoy "real food," either, but I have to try to eat it anyway. My palate will eventually adjust.

I need to see food as fuel, not enjoyment

Totally true. I am totally disconnected from the idea of food as nourishment. I need to pay attention to that and think of eating as satisfying an equation, not my desire for fatty mushy foods like french fries.

I need to see food as fuel, not comfort

Yeah. This.

I can get back to the body I had in my 20s

Hahaha! Maybe close, but I'll have the cellulite and stretch marks forever. I'll probably always have saggy breasts due to stretching, too. Fantastic.

I'm almost there!

Maybe. I've had more progress over the past year than I have in the past 10. I hit my "stop being upset" weight earlier this year and am now hovering 2 pounds below it. Yet, I am horrified to find that I am not actually as thin at this weight as I thought I would be. I have an amazing amount of fat on my thighs. Don't believe me? It hurts to run or jump when I exercise due to how much said fat bounces around. I'm going to have to invest in some supportive tights. Ten pounds seems rough but doable over the next year and I can only hope that is truly the weight of the excess baggage on my thighs and rear. I have a feeling it isn't.

I'll be so thin when I reach size x!

Ha ha, again! I'm at a size many other women on the weight loss journey would envy but I forgot that I'm really short and have a small build. As with the number on the scale, the amount of fat on my thighs, and other indicators of how far I have to go my dress size is a moving target.

Concentrating on weight loss won't help me. Concentrating on being able to live the healthy life I want to live will

This was the realization that helped me the most. Maybe I'll be slender, maybe I won't. But if I can walk up stairs with enthusiasm, go hiking and not feel like I'm going to keel over, and be enthusiastic about my day instead of listless and cranky (due to not exercising), I will be living the life that I want to live.