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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
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 Sun, Jun 03 2012, 6:36 pm
What is the norm in Chabad communities of what the kallah/kallas family give to the chassan during engagement (ie watch, shas) and when its given (L'chaim, yichud room)
Also curious what is the norm that the kallah gets from the chassan/chassan's family.
Asking for a relative who is getting engaged soon and wants to do whats expected, but has no idea what it is.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:41 pm
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anyone?? This is really important.
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shmaichul
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Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:52 pm
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Iirc I/my parents gave him a watch, shas, I think more sefarim, talis, talis bag and kos. Some give more.and some give less...
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shmaichul
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Sun, Jun 03 2012, 10:53 pm
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Oh and the watch he got right away - before the lechaim and everything else he got throughout the engagement.
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seeker
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Mon, Jun 04 2012, 1:32 am
I have no idea about that specific community, but in general I think this is a good question to ask the shadchan, they often know what the standards are in these kinds of things. And since they know both parties of the shidduch, they probably have some idea of what the other side expects.
Of course that doesn't help much if the shidduch didn't go through a shadchan but you could try asking just A shadchan in the target community...
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amother
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Mon, Jun 04 2012, 9:08 am
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Lol... What's if the shadchan is the boy's mother?
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amother
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Mon, Jun 04 2012, 9:16 am
I got engagement necklace (right when we got engaged) candlesticks (during engagement) wedding & engagement ring (in chedee yichud). Oh also a leather chitas from him. I got him shas, becher, tallis, Tallis bag - I think. It wasn't quite typical because I'm BT and my parents didn't get him anything. A watch when u get engaged is customary I think. In the chedee yichud I got him an iPad!!! Not traditional at all but I knew he would appreciate it more than cufflinks - and he did 
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