My friend asked me, then why do you keep having more?

amother

Fri, Aug 10 2012, 12:00 pm

ewa-jo wrote:

amother wrote:

She said this after I told her that I don't like being around my kids. What can I say, how can I enjoy being around them? There doesn't seem to be one day they come home and there's not an argument, or fight, or wildness, or just plain not listening. I love my kids and I don't even think I have that many and I do feel that I can take care of them, but lately I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!!!! You might say, you need a break, etc..., but it's more than that. I'm not happy overall. I'm not unhappy with my husband, I'm extremely unhappy with where we live. Every day I get worse and worse. I "spoke" to my husband about it and he knows, but how much can we do about it when this is where the money is now.

I'm sorry, but once again, something happened and I totally lost it! I'm completely falling apart and I just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening!!

I'm soooo not trying to be critical of your parenting style, but maybe it's time for more time-outs and more punishments and less tolerance of unacceptable behaviors.

We have an unofficial rule in my house that little people who are yelling and throwing tantrums are not allowed to be in the room with all the rest of the well-behaved people... so they get some alone-time in their room. I'm not some crazy super-disciplinarian mom, but I don't let yelling and fights and tantrums continue.

When my kids are being loud and destructive and annoying, I literally feel like throwing them out the window.... but when they're being normal kids, I love them to death.

Your kids are much younger than hers. You might think you have a great system but things are very different with older kids.

amother

Fri, Aug 10 2012, 12:07 pm

amother wrote:

ewa-jo wrote:

amother wrote:

Your kids are much younger than hers. You might think you have a great system but things are very different with older kids.

op here
amother, how do you know my kids are older than hers Smile

? They are though and you're right. It was easier when they were younger.

drumjj, my kids, boys, do the pettiness too and that's what makes me the most insane and lose it especially when they get me involved.

I forgot to mention that my friend told me this when I was on vacation all by myself, no kids at all LOL

. I was telling her that I don't mind leaving them because I can't stand being around them sometimes. It's different for her because she works full time and is not with her kids as often as I am.

flowerpower

Fri, Aug 10 2012, 12:22 pm

Cinnanam is right. I think that really does work. We go on a lot of outings especially now in the summertime it brings us much closer. The kids are happier, I am happier and we feel more connected. Another thing-when my kids fight I totaly ignore it and continue what I am doing or walk out of the room. If they need an intervention then I will do something. Sometimes kids fight out of sheer boredom. When I see that there in an impending fight, I go to my art bin and bring something up for them to do like a new pack of markers and color paper.... Also, if you are an unhappy person then a good idea is to start working on being more positive. When leaving a situation think of two things why it was good-rather than why it was not good. Being positive makes a big difference. Hang in there!!!!

drumjj

Fri, Aug 10 2012, 2:48 pm

amother wrote:

ewa-jo wrote:

amother wrote:

Your kids are much younger than hers. You might think you have a great system but things are very different with older kids.

op how old are ur kids? and I dont think this works with kids as they get older...
I want to know how to deal with the constant chatting and demands on our time... and whatever is done is never good enough

amother

Fri, Aug 10 2012, 4:06 pm

drumjj wrote:

op here
My kids are early teens down to a toddler. Oh my goodness, whatever is done is never good enough. That's the understatement of the day. Every single one of my kids, except the one who doesn't talk Rolling Eyes

tell me that I do for every body else, but not them. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?????????????? I can't say on how to deal with the constant chatting, but the demands on my time, I think I'm pretty good at. When I speak to a child or they're speaking to me and someone tries to interrupt, I tell them that we're talking. When they're all talking to me at once, I say, only two at a time because I only have two ears LOL

. They get the picture.
I just said to my sister this week, hopefully when they're adults they'll realize that we did give them individual attention because now they don't see it.

junam

Sat, Aug 11 2012, 6:56 pm

I totally empathise, when my kids aren't behaving I want to escape to my room and read a good book just to shut it all out. Never actually do it though. I keep having more though because we really do love them and deep down know that we are doing the best we can for them and one day they will appreciate it!

Interested to know though how one would deal with the behaviour in older children? Ewa Jo mentioned time-outs, what is the equivalent for older kids?